Nightmarish Sacrifice

Oh, he did look like a deity – the perfect balance of danger and charm, he was at the same time fascinating and inaccessible, distant because of his demonstrated flawlessness, and possessing such strength of character that he was dismaying and at the same time utterly attractive in an enticing and forbidden way.

And I wasn’t playing a role – I was trying to be myself. But the harder I was striving, the more I was realizing that I had probably lost that ‘myself’ somewhere between two perfectly performed roles...

Desires are what can most easily ruin us, lovely.

I always am in a role, lovely – for you, for them – even for myself. Yeah... Even when I’m alone, I am still in a role – and I myself am the most exacting audience I have ever had.

I’d love to try to tame you... And I would simply adore it if you turn out untamable –

Everybody is equally weak on the inside, just that some present their ruins as new castles and become kings –

I was never able to accept anyone else’s support but my own –

And what if you try to kill me? Or worse: to kiss me?

Paranoia. The more you think of an imaginary problem, the more you feel as though it’s real –

Even I don’t know myself... In fact, I don’t know if I really have a self at all, as I’m constantly playing different roles and pretending – not so much on stage as in real life...

A good enemy can be better than the best of friend.

You can speak to me like you haven’t spoken even to yourself.

You know what, your imagination works faster than your mind.

You kissed me once and now you feel as if you’ve got some special kind of licence to do it whenever you want?

I was recently living more comfortably surrounded by secrets... Like dozens of luxurious satiny pillows, they were embracing me from all directions into safe lulling warmth, thus isolating me from the sharp dead-cold edges of the truth hiding behind their endearingly smooth textures and tender soothing colours. Secrets could be so irresistibly beautiful...

Emotions don’t interfere in my acting, nor in my life.

I can be anything – and nothing, and everything at the same time. It all depends on the role I am in.

Don’t you have dragons to fight so that you started saving girls who don’t need it?

I lie more convincingly than I tell the truth.

The unknown grayish mystifying forest was benumbed into frost-covered cold, and the tremendous pines towering above the dark marshy soil resembled a gathering of severe mute brothers from a forbidden ancient order worshiping forgotten gods no one had ever heard of outside of the world of secret occult visions.

His character would be blamed, loathed, discussed, and adored – but somewhere there, behind his mask of a hero, Cardew would remain faceless. Anonymous.

Strength and victory... What he would never praise himself for, but whose loss was his most obsessive fear.

The desperate piercing scream of horror echoed far above the sharpened tops of the trees wrapped in thin obsidian-transparent mist, and I startled jerkily, tripping again, and almost collapsed onto the cold moist ground.