“Oh, he did look like a deity – the perfect balance of danger and charm, he was at the same time fascinating and inaccessible, distant because of his demonstrated flawlessness, and possessing such strength of character that he was dismaying and at the same time utterly attractive in an enticing and forbidden way.”
― Simona Panova, quote from Nightmarish Sacrifice
“And I wasn’t playing a role – I was trying to be myself.
But the harder I was striving, the more I was realizing that I had probably lost that ‘myself’ somewhere between two perfectly performed roles...”
― Simona Panova, quote from Nightmarish Sacrifice
“Desires are what can most easily ruin us, lovely.”
― Simona Panova, quote from Nightmarish Sacrifice
“I always am in a role, lovely – for you, for them – even for myself. Yeah... Even when I’m alone, I am still in a role – and I myself am the most exacting audience I have ever had.”
― Simona Panova, quote from Nightmarish Sacrifice
“I’d love to try to tame you... And I would simply adore it if you turn out untamable –”
― Simona Panova, quote from Nightmarish Sacrifice
“Everybody is equally weak on the inside, just that some present their ruins as new castles and become kings –”
― Simona Panova, quote from Nightmarish Sacrifice
“I was never able to accept anyone else’s support but my own –”
― Simona Panova, quote from Nightmarish Sacrifice
“And what if you try to kill me? Or worse: to kiss me?”
― Simona Panova, quote from Nightmarish Sacrifice
“Paranoia. The more you think of an imaginary problem, the more you feel as though it’s real –”
― Simona Panova, quote from Nightmarish Sacrifice
“Even I don’t know myself... In fact, I don’t know if I really have a self at all, as I’m constantly playing different roles and pretending – not so much on stage as in real life...”
― Simona Panova, quote from Nightmarish Sacrifice
“A good enemy can be better than the best of friend.”
― Simona Panova, quote from Nightmarish Sacrifice
“You can speak to me like you haven’t spoken even to yourself.”
― Simona Panova, quote from Nightmarish Sacrifice
“You know what, your imagination works faster than your mind.”
― Simona Panova, quote from Nightmarish Sacrifice
“You kissed me once and now you feel as if you’ve got some special kind of licence to do it whenever you want?”
― Simona Panova, quote from Nightmarish Sacrifice
“I was recently living more comfortably surrounded by secrets... Like dozens of luxurious satiny pillows, they were embracing me from all directions into safe lulling warmth, thus isolating me from the sharp dead-cold edges of the truth hiding behind their endearingly smooth textures and tender soothing colours.
Secrets could be so irresistibly beautiful...”
― Simona Panova, quote from Nightmarish Sacrifice
“Emotions don’t interfere in my acting, nor in my life.”
― Simona Panova, quote from Nightmarish Sacrifice
“I can be anything – and nothing, and everything at the same time. It all depends on the role I am in.”
― Simona Panova, quote from Nightmarish Sacrifice
“Don’t you have dragons to fight so that you started saving girls who don’t need it?”
― Simona Panova, quote from Nightmarish Sacrifice
“I lie more convincingly than I tell the truth.”
― Simona Panova, quote from Nightmarish Sacrifice
“The unknown grayish mystifying forest was benumbed into frost-covered cold, and the tremendous pines towering above the dark marshy soil resembled a gathering of severe mute brothers from a forbidden ancient order worshiping forgotten gods no one had ever heard of outside of the world of secret occult visions.”
― Simona Panova, quote from Nightmarish Sacrifice
“His character would be blamed, loathed, discussed, and adored – but somewhere there, behind his mask of a hero, Cardew would remain faceless.
Anonymous.”
― Simona Panova, quote from Nightmarish Sacrifice
“Strength and victory... What he would never praise himself for, but whose loss was his most obsessive fear.”
― Simona Panova, quote from Nightmarish Sacrifice
“The desperate piercing scream of horror echoed far above the sharpened tops of the trees wrapped in thin obsidian-transparent mist, and I startled jerkily, tripping again, and almost collapsed onto the cold moist ground.”
― Simona Panova, quote from Nightmarish Sacrifice
Simona Panova
Born place: in Vidin, Bulgaria
Born date August 16, 1992
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“It pulsed under the lights of the dance floor like a separate, disembodied heart.”
― Cassandra Clare, quote from The Mortal Instruments
“Vimes woke in damp and utter darkness with sand under his cheek. Some parts of his body reported for duty, others protested that they had a note from their mother.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Snuff
“I don’t belong here, David. Not yet. Maybe someday. If-- when Yasmine becomes Queen, she’ll need me, but for now, what Avalon really needs is someone in the human world, just like Jamison said. Someone to remind them how great humans really are. How great you really are,’ She added. ‘And I intend to do just that.’
‘Laurel?’
There was an edge of desperation in his voice, a deep sorrow she knew she had put there. ‘Yeah?’
He was quiet for a long time and Laurel wondered if he had changed his mind when he blurted, ‘We could have made it. If it hadn’t been for... for him, we would have had the real thing. Our whole lives. I truely believe that.’
Laurel smiled sadly. ‘Me too.’ She threw herself into David’s arms, pressing her cheek to his warm chest, the same way she’d hugged him countless times before. But there was something more in it, this time, as he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her back. And she knew, despite the fact that she would see him everyday from now through graduation, that this was goodbye.
‘Thank you,’ she whispered. ‘For everything.’
A movement caught the corner of her eye; he was fat away, but she knew him in an instant. Tamani was struggling up the pathway on his own, hardly able to put one foot in front of the other. Even as she watched he stumbled and barely caught himself.
Laurel gasped and was on her feet in an instant. ‘I have to help him,’ she said.
David met her eyes and held her gaze for several seconds before he looked down and nodded. ‘Go,’ he said. ‘He needs you.’
‘David?’ Laurel said. ‘Sometimes...’ she tried to remember how Chelsea had explained it to her once. ‘Sometimes we’re busy looking at one thing, one... person... that we can’t see anything else. Maybe-- maybe it’s time for you to open your eyes and look around.’
That message delivered, Laurel whirled and headed for Tamani without a backward glance.
Chapter 27
‘Tamani!’ Laurel called, running to him.
He looked up and for a second, Laurel saw joy in his eyes. But then darkness clouded his expression. He blinked and looked down at the ground, running his fingers through his hair almost nervously.
Laurel tucked herself underneath his good arm, wanting to chide him for doing so much. Beneath her fingertips Laurel could feel no trace of Klea’s virulent toxin, which was encouraging, but his wounds were grevious on their own. ‘Are you alright?’
He shook hes head and his eyes looked haunted in a way she had never seen before. Yesterday she had been peripherally aware that he was pushing his emotions aside to accomplish the tasks before him. But here, with no one around bur Laurel, with no lives to save, he had let his defenses fo and allowed himself to really feel. And it showed. ‘No,’ he said, his voice shaking. ‘I’m not all right. And I don’t think I’m going to be alright for a long time. But I’ll live,’ he added after a brief pause.
‘Sit,’ Laurel said pulling him off the path to a patch of grass where a larege pine shaded them from not only the rising sun, but also from prying eyes. For just a moment, she wanted him all to herself. ’Where’s Chelsea?’
‘She’ll be here soon,’ he said wearily.
‘Where were you?’ She asked.
He was silent for a moment. ‘Shar’s house,’ he finally finally said, his voice cracking.
‘Oh, Tam,’ Laurel breathed, her hands gripping his shoulders.
‘It was his last request,’ Tamani said, one silent tear tracing down his face for an instant before he broke her gaze and rubbed it with his sleeve.
Laurel wanted to wrap her arms around him, to offer her shoulder for him to cry on, to soothe away those terrible lines on his forehead, but she didn’t know where to begin. ‘Tamani, what’s going on?’
Tamani swallowed, then shook his head. ‘I’ll get you back to California-- you’ll see. You, Chelsea, and David.’
‘But--’
‘But I’m not coming with you.’
‘You-- you have to,’ Laurel said, but Tamani was shaking his head.”
― Aprilynne Pike, quote from Destined
“My life will get better? You really believe that?" I ask.
“It can. If you’re willing to do the work.”
“What work?”
“Not letting the world destroy you. That’s a daily battle.”
― Matthew Quick, quote from Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock
“I know it's hard being a single mother baby, he said, but we're talking fundamentals here. Homemade cookies are one of the best parts of christmas. It's an absolute fundamental.”
― Dean Koontz, quote from Strangers
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