Quotes from My Fairy Godmother Is a Drag Queen

“I just felt like . . . me. And whatever “me” meant, that was perfectly fine and absolutely enough. Everyone should feel that kind of peace and self-acceptance far more often than I think most of us do.”
― David Clawson, quote from My Fairy Godmother Is a Drag Queen

“I’m always amazed by how readily people judge the right and wrong of things they know only from the outside. Honestly, it kind of pisses me off.”
― David Clawson, quote from My Fairy Godmother Is a Drag Queen

“Every time he said those words it was like a supernova of joy exploding inside me. I just didn’t yet know that supernovas burn so brightly because a catastrophe is taking place. That lesson would come later.”
― David Clawson, quote from My Fairy Godmother Is a Drag Queen

“I admit, I bear my share of the responsibility for their getting it all wrong, so I guess I’m just going to tell this story as if you knew nothing, because, in reality, even if you read every single article published up to the moment of the big announcement, about the truth, you do know nothing.”
― David Clawson, quote from My Fairy Godmother Is a Drag Queen

“I will say this about that moment when you realize your worst nightmare has proven to be reality— it can be oddly comforting. After all, once you’ve hit rock bottom and lived, there’s only one place you can go, and that’s up.”
― David Clawson, quote from My Fairy Godmother Is a Drag Queen

“Happiness can be a dangerous thing; it can make you greedy for more.”
― David Clawson, quote from My Fairy Godmother Is a Drag Queen

“Child, I am taking you to The Autumnal Ball.”
“The . . . but . . . but . . . I don’t have a ticket.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“But how—”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“But I don’t have a thousand dollars for—”
“I said, don’t worry about it.”
“But how can I not worry about it? Worrying is what I do! About everything!”
With an unexpectedly calm smile, Coco put I finger to my lips. “And that’s why you need a fairy godmother. For the rest of the night you’re not allowed to worry about anything. You have one, and only one, responsibility. To have a dream come true and have the sweetass time of your sweetass life. Do you understand me?”
― David Clawson, quote from My Fairy Godmother Is a Drag Queen

“Are they always so mean?” I asked.

“It’s the oldest story in the book— the bullied become the bullies.”
― David Clawson, quote from My Fairy Godmother Is a Drag Queen

“They say that it’s always darkest before the dawn, but sometimes it’s really darkest the moment you realize a dream was just a dream.”
― David Clawson, quote from My Fairy Godmother Is a Drag Queen

“I have a theory that he’s not actually as stupid as he likes to act, because often he’ll play the stupidity card in a really smart way .”
― David Clawson, quote from My Fairy Godmother Is a Drag Queen

“but the human heart has a bad habit of being hopeful.”
― David Clawson, quote from My Fairy Godmother Is a Drag Queen

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How different from the eyes of my people! Their steady stare is completely devoid of all tension. They harbor no thought - but what power! What spiritual power! Such eyes would not sell you. They couldn't sell anything or buy anything. You could spit in the eyes, and they’d call it God's (divine) dew...”
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“I do think,’ said Kitty fervently, ‘that Freddy is the most truly chivalrous person imaginable!’ Freddy’s sister, regarding her with awe, opened her mouth, shut it again, swallowed, and managed to say, though in a faint voice: ‘Do you, indeed?’ ‘Yes, and a great deal more to the purpose than all the people one was taught to revere, like Sir Lancelot, and Sir Galahad, and Young Lochinvar, and—and that kind of man! I daresay Freddy might not be a great hand at slaying dragons, but you may depend upon it none of those knight-errants would be able to rescue one from a social fix, and you must own, Meg, that one has not the smallest need of a man who can kill dragons!”
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“We have snacks, everybody!”
“Where’d you get them from, Delaware?” Ben asked. He was glaring behind me, where Sage leaned casually against the wall.
“Practically,” I said. “My fault-I was dying for Red Hots. Pretty much impossible to find. So what movie are we watching?”
Back in the cave, Sage had told me I wasn’t much of an actress, and apparently he was right. I thought I put on a brilliant show, but Ben’s eyes were filled with suspicion, Rayna looked like she was ready to pounce, and Sage seemed to be working very hard to stifle his laughter.
Rayna yawned. “Can’t do it. I’m so tired. I’m sorry, but I have to kick you guys out and get some sleep.”
She wasn’t much better at acting than I was. I knew she wanted to talk, but the idea of being away from Sage killed me.
“No worries,” I said. “I can bring he snacks to the guys’ room. We can watch there and let you sleep.”
“Great!” Ben said.
Rayna gaped, and in the space of ten seconds, she and I had a full conversation with only our eyes.
Rayna: “What the hell?”
Me: “I know! But I want to hang out with Sage.”
Rayna: “Are you insane?! You’ll be with him for the rest of your life. I’m only with you until morning!”
I couldn’t fight that one. She was right.
“Actually, I’m pretty tired too,” I said. I even forced a yawn, though judging from Sage’s smirk, it wasn’t terribly convincing.
“You sure?” Ben asked. He was staring at me in a way that made me feel X-rayed.
“Positive. Take some snacks, though. I got dark chocolate M&Ms and Fritos.”
“Sounds like a slumber party!” Rayna said.
“Absolutely,” Sage deadpanned. “Look out, Ben-I do a mean French braid.”
Ben paid no attention. He had moved closer and was looking at me suspiciously, like a dog whose owner comes from after playing with someone else’s pet. I almost thought he was going to smell me.
“G’night,” he said. He had to brush past Sage to get to the door, but he didn’t say a word to him. Sage raised an amused eyebrow to me.
“Good night, ladies,” he said, then turned and followed Ben out. It hurt to see him go, like someone had run an ice cream scoop through my core, but I knew that was melodramatic. I’d see him in the morning. We had our whole lives to be together. Tonight he could spend with Ben.
I laughed out loud, imagining the two of them actually cheating, snacking, and French braiding each other’s hair as they sat cross-legged on the bed.
Then a pillow smacked me in the side of the head.
“’We can watch there and let you sleep’?” Rayna wailed. “Are you crazy?”
“I know! I’m sorry. I took it back, though, right?”
“You have two seconds to start talking, or I reload.”
Before now, if anyone had told me that I could have a night like tonight and not want to tell Rayna everything, I’d have thought they were crazy. But being with Sage was different. It felt perfectly round and complete. If I said anything about it, I felt like I’d be giving away a giant scoop of it that I couldn’t ever get back.
“It was really nice,” I said. “Thanks.”
Rayna picked up another pillow, then let it drop. She wasn’t happy, but she understood. She also knew I wasn’t thanking her just for asking, but for everything.
“Ready for bed?” she asked. “We have to eat the guys to breakfast so they don’t steal all the cinnamon rolls.”
I loved her like crazy.”
― Hilary Duff, quote from Elixir

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