“If guys don't open doors for you, then they aren't worth your time.”
“As the music played over the speakers and the waterfall in the pool filled the silence around us, I knew that, without a doubt, I had just been ruined.”
“I smashed all the windows in my ex-boyfriend’s truck.” “You did what?” I couldn’t have heard her correctly. That did not happen in real life. Country songs, yes. Real life, no way.”
“I could tell she was one of those ridiculously gorgeous southern blondes. It was like the South had some special ingredient to raise them like that down here.”
“Jason Stone is your Logan. He’s wealthy and impressive and handsome. He’s a fairy tale. But don’t get serious. Guard your heart.” I let out a frustrated sigh and dropped my arms. “Why are you calling him my Logan?” I asked. “Gilmore Girls, sweetheart. Gilmore Girls. If you had bothered to watch it with me like I asked you several times, you would know what I mean. Hank is your Dean. He wasn’t meant for you either. He was just the first heartbreak you keep going back to. Now you’ve met your Logan. It’s a shame, though. I wish you’d met your Jess next.”
“Don't give in to your fears. If you do, you won't be able to talk to your heart.”
“MOMA's values were blown through the American education system, from high school upwards-and downwards, too, greatly raising the status of "creativity" and "self-expression" in kindergarten. By the 1970s, the historical study of modern art had expanded to the point where students were scratching for unexploited thesis subjects. By the mid-eighties, twenty-one-year-old art-history majors would be writing papers on the twenty-six-year-old graffitists.”
“We know also that she had three children with William Shakespeare—Susanna in May 1583 and the twins, Judith and Hamnet, in early February 1585—but all the rest is darkness. We know nothing about the couple’s relationship—whether they bickered constantly or were eternally doting.”
“I do, too! Just imagine, I’d have a private practice now, like Yenna. I wouldn’t have to sweat with novices. I wouldn’t have to wipe the noses of the blubbering ones or lock horns with the cheeky ones. Ciri, listen to me and learn. An enchantress always takes action. Wrongly or rightly; that is revealed later. But you should act, be brave, seize life by the scruff of the neck. Believe me, little one, you should only regret inactivity, indecisiveness, hesitation. You shouldn’t regret actions or decisions, even if they occasionally end in sadness and regret.”
“1 WORLD RECORDS CHECK THIS OUT. This dude named Andrew Dahl holds the world record for blowing up the most balloons . . . with his nose. Yeah. That’s true. Not sure how he found out that was some kinda special talent, and I can’t even imagine how much snot be in those balloons, but hey, it’s a thing and Andrew’s the best at it. There’s also this lady named Charlotte Lee who holds the record for owning the most rubber ducks. No lie. Here’s what’s weird about that: Why would you even want one rubber duck, let alone 5,631? I mean, come on. And me, well, I probably hold the world record for knowing about the most world records. That, and for eating the most sunflower seeds.”
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