Melissa Kantor · 283 pages
Rating: (4.8K votes)
“After all, what did Prince Charming know about Cinderella besides her shoe size?”
― Melissa Kantor, quote from If I Have a Wicked Stepmother, Where's My Prince?
“Because if I have a wicked stepmother and two evil stepsisters, aren't I supposed to get a prince?”
― Melissa Kantor, quote from If I Have a Wicked Stepmother, Where's My Prince?
“Nothing.
That's what happens to the stepmother in Cinderella.
Nothing.”
― Melissa Kantor, quote from If I Have a Wicked Stepmother, Where's My Prince?
“You were sleeping?" said Princess One.
"No," I said. "Sometimes I just like to lie in the dark for hours with my eyes closed.”
― Melissa Kantor, quote from If I Have a Wicked Stepmother, Where's My Prince?
“People never think things that are true are funny.”
― Melissa Kantor, quote from If I Have a Wicked Stepmother, Where's My Prince?
“Why is it I can spend a dozen Friday nights staring at the peeling walls of my "room" without anyone in the family so much as poking a head down to see if I'm alive, while the one time I actually have plans (major plans, plans that necessitate extraordinary focus and massive preparation), my stepmother suddenly suggests we sing a duet of "Getting to Know You"?”
― Melissa Kantor, quote from If I Have a Wicked Stepmother, Where's My Prince?
“Apparently being Cinderella isn't so bad after all.”
― Melissa Kantor, quote from If I Have a Wicked Stepmother, Where's My Prince?
“Prince Charming was requesting my presence tonight.”
― Melissa Kantor, quote from If I Have a Wicked Stepmother, Where's My Prince?
“Tonight was a perfect illustration of why Cinderella and the Prince get married twenty-four hours after they meet. Because when you're living with your stepmother, there is no happily ever after.”
― Melissa Kantor, quote from If I Have a Wicked Stepmother, Where's My Prince?
Melissa Kantor
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“Approaching the forest from the west was no army, but a delegation of Grailsundanian master surgeons on their way to an appendix conference . . . But that isn't the craziest part of the story - oh, no, my boy, for approaching from the east was a party of itinerant watchmakers bound for the pocket-watch fair at Wimbleton . . . But not even that is the craziest part of the story! For apporaching from the south were over a hundred armourers and locksmiths on their way to Florinth, where some power-hungry prince had commissioned them to build a monstrous war machine . . . Well, that would be enough crazy coincedences for an averagely crazy story but the battle of Nurn Forest involved the most improbable coincedences in the history of Zamonia. For entering the forest, this time from the north came a delegation of alchemists.”
― Walter Moers, quote from Rumo & His Miraculous Adventures
“Dear gods, Pa is a very devout Buddhist. Please help my Pa return home. He is not mean and does not like to hurt other people. Help him return and I will do anything you say. I will devote my entire life to you. I will believe you always. If you cannot bring Pa home to us, please make sure they don’t hurt him, or please make sure Pa dies a quick death.”
― Loung Ung, quote from First They Killed My Father: A Daughter of Cambodia Remembers
“I dinna trust him," said Slightly Mad Angus. "He reads books an' such.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Wintersmith
“What anguish! Cincinnatus, what anguish! What stone anguish, Cincinnatus—the merciless bong of the clock, and the obese spider, and the yellow walls, and the roughness of the black wool blanket. The skim on the chocolate. Pluck it with two fingers at the very center and snatch it whole from the surface, no longer a flat covering, but a wrinkled brown little skirt. The liquid is tepid underneath, sweetish and stagnant. Three slices of toast with tortoise shell burns. A round pat of butter embossed with the monogram of the director. What anguish, Cincinnatus, how many crumbs in the bed!”
― Vladimir Nabokov, quote from Invitation to a Beheading
“The crown o' the earth doth melt. My lord!
O, wither'd is the garland of the war,
The soldier's pole is fall'n: young boys and girls
Are level now with men; the odds is gone,
And there is nothing left remarkable
Beneath the visiting moon.”
― William Shakespeare, quote from Antony and Cleopatra
The Black Cauldron
Little Children
Skeleton Key
The Almond Tree
Charade
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