Quotes from How to Flirt with a Naked Werewolf

Molly Harper ·  371 pages

Rating: (15.6K votes)


“Well, that cinched it. He was an asshole. I was definitely going to end up sleeping with him.”
― Molly Harper, quote from How to Flirt with a Naked Werewolf


“If God didn't want us to eat the animals, He wouldn't have made them so tasty.”
― Molly Harper, quote from How to Flirt with a Naked Werewolf


“He's like that with everybody. Don't take it personally. Some people were just born with a pinecone shoved up their butts.
In Cooper's case, it's lodged sideways.”
― Molly Harper, quote from How to Flirt with a Naked Werewolf


“There's an inverse relationship between my temper and my ability to control my accent. If you hear me say 'Fiddledeedee', run for the hills, because I'm getting ready to take out bystanders.”
― Molly Harper, quote from How to Flirt with a Naked Werewolf


“What do you want from me, Maggie? Advice? Absolution? Go forth and be a bitch no more.”
― Molly Harper, quote from How to Flirt with a Naked Werewolf



“You will treat my underwear with the reverence it deserves. Next time, you will stop and appreciate--hell, you'll marvel at the miracle of my ass clad in silk.”
― Molly Harper, quote from How to Flirt with a Naked Werewolf


“Maybe it was just an over abundance of hormones, a response to a sexual starvation diet. I'd been without for so long that my body was craving the worst possible thing for me. Cooper was carnal triple chocolate cheesecake, deep-fried on a stick.”
― Molly Harper, quote from How to Flirt with a Naked Werewolf


“Well, pardon me for not knowing about the thermal-only panty rule,” I said, smirking as he dipped his head to nuzzle one of the silky bra cups. “I’ll rush right out and buy some long johns.”
Pausing to look up with perfect sincerity, he promised, “If you do, I will weep. Like a little girl. In public.”
― Molly Harper, quote from How to Flirt with a Naked Werewolf


“It was not healthy for one man's smile to make my panties spontaneously combust”
― Molly Harper, quote from How to Flirt with a Naked Werewolf


“When a naked man shows up on your doorstep with a bear trap clamped around his ankle, it's best just to do what he asks”
― Molly Harper, quote from How to Flirt with a Naked Werewolf



“Instead of celebrating with a cake (too full of poisonous refined sugars) and presents (too materialistic), my mother would come into my room at exactly 3:57 A.M. to tell me the story of my miraculous emergence into this world, as if it was some fairy tale. Although I supposed few fairy tales involved the words 'vaginal flowering'.”
― Molly Harper, quote from How to Flirt with a Naked Werewolf


“Establishing dominance early in the relationship is key. Vampire children are like human children in that they can sense weakness. They will wait for you to be busy or too distracted to realize that you’ve given them permission to feed on the pizza guy.
—Siring for the Stupid: A Beginner’s Guide to Raising Newborn Vampires”
― Molly Harper, quote from How to Flirt with a Naked Werewolf


“Why couldn’t I have spent the last few months like this, wrapped in his arms, drinking in the warm, spicy scent of him? Oh, wait. Cooper was a complete dick to me, that’s why.”
― Molly Harper, quote from How to Flirt with a Naked Werewolf


“I loved lingerie. I loved the feel of satin and silk on my skin. I loved the juxtaposition of wearing a pair of two-hundred-dollar lace panties under blue jeans, like the pair I was wearing at the moment. Lingerie was a personal statement that you didn't have to declare to the world. You could be as demure or as naughty as you wanted to be, and no one ever had to know unless you showed them... or were injured in a serious car accident.”
― Molly Harper, quote from How to Flirt with a Naked Werewolf


“Hi Maggie, it's nice to see you again,' he said, smiling so sweetly I thought I might need insulin.”
― Molly Harper, quote from How to Flirt with a Naked Werewolf



“I tend to bake when I'm upset. Or bored...or premenstrual...or if it's Tuesday. I'll use any excuse.”
― Molly Harper, quote from How to Flirt with a Naked Werewolf


“A boot up the ass could be considered a 'nudge' right?”
― Molly Harper, quote from How to Flirt with a Naked Werewolf


“I sighed. 'Ah spite, the stuff of fairy tales.”
― Molly Harper, quote from How to Flirt with a Naked Werewolf


“THE BLUE GLACIER SALOON was part general store, part restaurant, part bar. It was my fantasy come true, a Stuckey’s that served shots.”
― Molly Harper, quote from How to Flirt with a Naked Werewolf


“He delivered the mail, ran our modest recycling program, and maintained our handful of public buildings. He also occasionally fell asleep while driving a snowplough, but he was such a cheerful guy it was hard to stay pissed at him. Besides every village needs an idiot.”
― Molly Harper, quote from How to Flirt with a Naked Werewolf



“My mother had spent one hundred dollars on shipping to send me cookies, antimeat propaganda, and laxatives.”
― Molly Harper, quote from How to Flirt with a Naked Werewolf


“Cooper! Help!'
The coward turned and walked into the kitchen as if he hadn't seen me getting frogmarched by the estrogen squad.”
― Molly Harper, quote from How to Flirt with a Naked Werewolf


“The rest of the morning would consist of checking on a pothole in the parking lot of the village clinic and writing up a schedule for the community centre that might finally settle the ongoing feud between the local quilting group and the bridge club.

It was good to be queen.”
― Molly Harper, quote from How to Flirt with a Naked Werewolf


About the author

Molly Harper
Born place: The United States
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Popular quotes

“The Cypress Hills massacre,...one of the final outrages of the literally lawless West...came...along that practical and symbolic divide, between the Canadian system of monopoly trading and the American system of competition, whiskey, bullets, exploitation, and extermination.”
― Wallace Stegner, quote from Wolf Willow


“The number 6 was the first perfect number, and the number of creation. The adjective "perfect" was attached that are precisely equal to the sum of all the smaller numbers that divide into them, as 6=1+2+3. The next such number, incidentally, is 28=1+2+4+7+14, followed by 496=1+2+4+8+16+31+62+124+248; by the time we reach the ninth perfect number, it contains thirty-seven digits. Six is also the product of the first female number, 2, and the first masculine number, 3. The Hellenistic Jewish philosopher Philo Judaeus of Alexandria (ca. 20 B.C.-c.a. A.D. 40), whose work brought together Greek philosophy and Hebrew scriptures, suggested that God created the world in six days because six was a perfect number. The same idea was elaborated upon by St. Augustine (354-430) in The City of God: "Six is a number perfect in itself, and not because God created the world in six days; rather the contrary is true: God created the world in six days because this number is perfect, and it would remain perfect, even if the work of the six days did not exist." Some commentators of the Bible regarded 28 also as a basic number of the Supreme Architect, pointing to the 28 days of the lunar cycle. The fascination with perfect numbers penetrated even into Judaism, and their study was advocated in the twelfth century by Rabbi Yosef ben Yehudah Ankin in his book, Healing of the Souls.”
― quote from The Golden Ratio: The Story of Phi, the World's Most Astonishing Number


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“Choose a nutritious diet.     Create time and energy for dieting.     Plan what and when you’re going to eat.     Seek support.     Deal with disappointment.     View overeating as a temporary problem that you can solve.     Cope with hunger and cravings.     Eliminate emotional eating.     Give yourself credit.”
― Judith S. Beck, quote from The Beck Diet Solution


“The pigs were pushing their noses through the slats in the truck bed, which made Langston so unaccountably sad she thought she would have to sit down on the sidewalk. How is it possible, she thought, that a person can drive a thinking, feeling, animal to slaughter and not become less than an animal himself? And what were the pigs searching for, after all, but air and freedom?”
― Haven Kimmel, quote from The Solace of Leaving Early


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