Quotes from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. -T-Shirt”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself. (T-Shirt)”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“There is a great need for a sarcasm font.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“If life hands you lemons,keep them. Because, hey, free lemons.-T-Shirt”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“An integral part of any best friend's job is to immediately clear your computer history if you die.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“I know karate, and like two other Japanese words - T-SHIRT”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“I chose the road less traveled. Now I'm lost.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. - T-SHIRT”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Never trust a man with a penis.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Holy shit, are you positive?"
"As a pregnancy test a month after prom.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Want coffee?" I asked, as I headed that way.
"It's three thirty in the morning."
"Okay. Want coffee?”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is NOT for you. (BUMPER STICKER)”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Time to make today my bitch.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“There comes a moment when you know you just aren't going to do anything esle productive for the rest of the day.-T-Shirt”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“No. This has to do with drugs."
My jaw fell open and I almost lost my toothbrush. "You're on drugs?"
She pressed her mouth together. "No. You are."
"I'm on drugs?" I asked, stunned. I had no idea.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“At first, I could lie about my lack of sleep and she'd fall for it, but she started suspecting insomnia when I began seeing purple elephants in the air vents at the office. I knew I shouldn't have asked her about them. I thought maybe she'd redecorated.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Let me express how much I don't care on a scale of one to bite me," the former detective said.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“After a long, labored sigh, I said, “She was really happy when I got there. I’m pretty sure she was suicidal when I left.”
“You do have that effect on people.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Oh, my god!" I said, throwing my hands over my eyes and hurtling my body against the counter.
"What?"
"You're naked."
"I'm not naked."
"I'm blind."
"You're not blind. I'm wearing pants."
"Oh." That was embarrassing.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Before I tell you, I have to know three things," I said.
"Okay."
"One, are you sitting down?"
"Yes."
"Two, are you mentally stable?"
"More than you'll ever be."
Well, that was uncalled for. "And three, how do you spell schizophrenia?"
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"Nothing. I just wanted to see if you'd tell me.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“I hardly loathe myself. Have you seen my ass?”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Ask me about my complete lack of interest. (T-shirt)”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“if everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane(T-Shirt)”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Have you slept yet?'
'Sure. I took a power nap on the way over.'
'Didn't you drive there?'
'Yeah. Other drviers kept waking me up. Car horns should be illegal.'
- Charley & Cookie”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“I strode toward Mr. Coffee with lust in my eyes. We'd had a thing for quite some time now Mr. Coffee and I...”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“You totally need to watch the news."
"Can't."
"Why?"
"It's too depressing."
"Right, because hanging with dead people isn't.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“But give up my business? The same business I'd built from the ground up with my own two hands and designer Louis Vuittons? The same business for which I'd sacrificed blood, sweat, and tears? Well, maybe not sweat and tears, but there was blood. Lots of blood. Give it up? Not likely. Besides, what else would I do? I totally should've gone to Hogwarts when I had the chance.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“I was never really certain why he scared the bejesus out of me. Nothing scared me growing up. I’ve been playing with dead people since the day I was born, so it’s good thing, yet the Big Bad scared me. Which brings me to the reason I called.”
“Which was to give me nightmares for the rest of my life?”
“Oh, no, that’s just a plus. Why was I so scared of him?”
“Hon, for one thing he was this powerful, massive, black smokelike being.”
“So, you’re saying I’m a racist?”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“In a moment of sheer terror, I realized I couldn't feel my brain. It was there just a minute ago. Maybe I really was dead. "Do I look dead to you?”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

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“Three days after a German submarine sank the Lusitania, Wilson addressed an audience of recently naturalized citizens in Philadelphia. "You cannot become thorough Americans", he told them, "if you think of yourselves in groups. America does not consist of groups, A man who thinks of himself as belonging to a particular national group in America has not yet become an American".

"We can have no 'fifty-fifty' allegiance in the country", Theodore Roosevelt said two years later. "Either a man is an American and nothing else, or he is not an American at all". He condemned Americans who saw the world from the standpoint of another nation. "We Americans are children of the crucible", T.R. said. "The crucible does not do its work unless it turns out those cast into it in one national mould".”
― Arthur M. Schlesinger Jr., quote from The Disuniting of America: Reflections on a Multicultural Society

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