Quotes from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. -T-Shirt”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself. (T-Shirt)”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“There is a great need for a sarcasm font.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“If life hands you lemons,keep them. Because, hey, free lemons.-T-Shirt”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“An integral part of any best friend's job is to immediately clear your computer history if you die.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“I know karate, and like two other Japanese words - T-SHIRT”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“I chose the road less traveled. Now I'm lost.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. - T-SHIRT”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Never trust a man with a penis.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Holy shit, are you positive?"
"As a pregnancy test a month after prom.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Want coffee?" I asked, as I headed that way.
"It's three thirty in the morning."
"Okay. Want coffee?”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is NOT for you. (BUMPER STICKER)”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Time to make today my bitch.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“There comes a moment when you know you just aren't going to do anything esle productive for the rest of the day.-T-Shirt”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“No. This has to do with drugs."
My jaw fell open and I almost lost my toothbrush. "You're on drugs?"
She pressed her mouth together. "No. You are."
"I'm on drugs?" I asked, stunned. I had no idea.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“At first, I could lie about my lack of sleep and she'd fall for it, but she started suspecting insomnia when I began seeing purple elephants in the air vents at the office. I knew I shouldn't have asked her about them. I thought maybe she'd redecorated.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Let me express how much I don't care on a scale of one to bite me," the former detective said.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“After a long, labored sigh, I said, “She was really happy when I got there. I’m pretty sure she was suicidal when I left.”
“You do have that effect on people.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Oh, my god!" I said, throwing my hands over my eyes and hurtling my body against the counter.
"What?"
"You're naked."
"I'm not naked."
"I'm blind."
"You're not blind. I'm wearing pants."
"Oh." That was embarrassing.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Before I tell you, I have to know three things," I said.
"Okay."
"One, are you sitting down?"
"Yes."
"Two, are you mentally stable?"
"More than you'll ever be."
Well, that was uncalled for. "And three, how do you spell schizophrenia?"
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"Nothing. I just wanted to see if you'd tell me.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“I hardly loathe myself. Have you seen my ass?”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Ask me about my complete lack of interest. (T-shirt)”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“if everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane(T-Shirt)”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Have you slept yet?'
'Sure. I took a power nap on the way over.'
'Didn't you drive there?'
'Yeah. Other drviers kept waking me up. Car horns should be illegal.'
- Charley & Cookie”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“I strode toward Mr. Coffee with lust in my eyes. We'd had a thing for quite some time now Mr. Coffee and I...”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“You totally need to watch the news."
"Can't."
"Why?"
"It's too depressing."
"Right, because hanging with dead people isn't.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“But give up my business? The same business I'd built from the ground up with my own two hands and designer Louis Vuittons? The same business for which I'd sacrificed blood, sweat, and tears? Well, maybe not sweat and tears, but there was blood. Lots of blood. Give it up? Not likely. Besides, what else would I do? I totally should've gone to Hogwarts when I had the chance.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“I was never really certain why he scared the bejesus out of me. Nothing scared me growing up. I’ve been playing with dead people since the day I was born, so it’s good thing, yet the Big Bad scared me. Which brings me to the reason I called.”
“Which was to give me nightmares for the rest of my life?”
“Oh, no, that’s just a plus. Why was I so scared of him?”
“Hon, for one thing he was this powerful, massive, black smokelike being.”
“So, you’re saying I’m a racist?”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“In a moment of sheer terror, I realized I couldn't feel my brain. It was there just a minute ago. Maybe I really was dead. "Do I look dead to you?”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

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“After that, we don’t talk, instead we get hammered. Shot after shot we down, chasing each one with a Little Debbie snack. Before we know it, we’re hanging on to the bar counter floating around in a sugar and alcohol coma, just the way I like it.

“There’s my girl,” Racer shouts as he topples off his stool and onto the floor, laughing hysterically. Georgie stops in her tracks and looks over at Emma, who’s standing next to her, both holding two boxes of Little Debbie snacks each.

“Emmmmmmmma,” Tucker drags out, waving his glass in the air. “You brought the snacks.”

“Oh, Jesus,” Emma mutters as she approaches us.

I point to my mouth and say, “Feed me. Daddy needs sugar.”

Racer is beside me, tangled in the pegs of his bar stool, still laughing. “Did you bring Oatmeal Pies, George? Please tell me you have the pies.”

“Uh, I think you’ve had enough for tonight,” she says, looking down at her boyfriend.

“Never!” Racer struggles to get up and finally knocks the chair over to free himself. “Fucking bitch chair, digging into me with its claws.” Talking to the stool directly he says, “I’m taken, warm someone else’s ass.”

“He’s going to propose, chair, leave him alone,” Tucker announces, causing me to cringe.

“Dude, don’t say it out loud.” I punch Tucker in the shoulder. “Georgie is right there.” All three of us turn to Georgie, who’s shaking her head in humor. Hopefully.

“I’ll take Aaron,” Emma tells Georgie. “Seems like Racer is more of a handful.”

“Hell yeah, I am.” Racer stumbles while cupping his crotch. “A giant handful.”

Georgie rolls her eyes. “And that’s our cue to leave.”

“But we didn’t eat our snacks.”

“Seems like you had enough.” Georgie grabs Racer by the hand. “Come on.”

As they walk away, Racer asks, “Want to have sex in the car?”

“Not even a little.”

“Here, you two, you can have your boxes of snacks.” Emma hands Tucker and me both a box of Oatmeal Pies that we clutch to our chests.

“You’re the best,” I admit.

“She is, isn’t she?” Tucker says. “I love her so fucking hard. Best wife ever.”

She pulls on both of our hands to get us moving. “She wins wife of the year award,” I announce. “Best wife goes to Emma. Can we get a round of applause?”

Tucker breaks open his Oatmeal Pies and starts spraying them like confetti. “Emma. Emma. Emma.” He chants, getting the three other patrons in the bar to join in.

I pump my fist as well, forgetting everything from earlier. I knew I could count on my guys.

“Emma. Emma. Emma . . .”

And then, everything fades to black. Emotions and feelings are non-existent as I pass out, just the way I like it. Just the way I need it.”
― Meghan Quinn, quote from The Other Brother

“Etsuko had failed in this important way—she had not taught her children to hope, to believe in the perhaps-absurd possibility that they might win. Pachinko was a foolish game, but life was not.”
― Min Jin Lee, quote from Pachinko

“Two weeks later, I wore a coat to school for the first time that year. Fall had made its presence known in the form of wet, earthy smells and shivering tree limbs shedding leaves in various shades of exotic cat. I walked to school that morning, listening to the crisp sounds that punctuated each one of my footfalls and the honks of geese flying overhead. I found it strange that there could be so much beauty in the death of all these living things. Maybe it was only beautiful because we knew they would be resurrected next spring. I don't think I would enjoy fall quite as much if I knew there was an eternal winter to follow.”
― Ruth Emmie Lang, quote from Beasts of Extraordinary Circumstance

“They were sitting on opposite sides of the board, playing each other in hopes of gaining the same prize.”
― Lisa Maxwell, quote from The Last Magician

“عندما انتزع نفسي من نفسي من اجل فهم الغير ، وعندما أوسع حقل تجاربي ، فإني اتفرد بما أنني أتجاوز ماهو خاص في وضعي الأصلي من أجل التوصل إما للعالمية أو على الأقل ، لمراعاة إمكانيات الإنسانية جمعاء”
― Luc Ferry, quote from A Brief History of Thought: A Philosophical Guide to Living

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