Quotes from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. -T-Shirt”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself. (T-Shirt)”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“There is a great need for a sarcasm font.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“If life hands you lemons,keep them. Because, hey, free lemons.-T-Shirt”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“An integral part of any best friend's job is to immediately clear your computer history if you die.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“I know karate, and like two other Japanese words - T-SHIRT”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“I chose the road less traveled. Now I'm lost.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. - T-SHIRT”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Never trust a man with a penis.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Holy shit, are you positive?"
"As a pregnancy test a month after prom.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Want coffee?" I asked, as I headed that way.
"It's three thirty in the morning."
"Okay. Want coffee?”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is NOT for you. (BUMPER STICKER)”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Time to make today my bitch.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“There comes a moment when you know you just aren't going to do anything esle productive for the rest of the day.-T-Shirt”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“No. This has to do with drugs."
My jaw fell open and I almost lost my toothbrush. "You're on drugs?"
She pressed her mouth together. "No. You are."
"I'm on drugs?" I asked, stunned. I had no idea.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“At first, I could lie about my lack of sleep and she'd fall for it, but she started suspecting insomnia when I began seeing purple elephants in the air vents at the office. I knew I shouldn't have asked her about them. I thought maybe she'd redecorated.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Let me express how much I don't care on a scale of one to bite me," the former detective said.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“After a long, labored sigh, I said, “She was really happy when I got there. I’m pretty sure she was suicidal when I left.”
“You do have that effect on people.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Oh, my god!" I said, throwing my hands over my eyes and hurtling my body against the counter.
"What?"
"You're naked."
"I'm not naked."
"I'm blind."
"You're not blind. I'm wearing pants."
"Oh." That was embarrassing.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Before I tell you, I have to know three things," I said.
"Okay."
"One, are you sitting down?"
"Yes."
"Two, are you mentally stable?"
"More than you'll ever be."
Well, that was uncalled for. "And three, how do you spell schizophrenia?"
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"Nothing. I just wanted to see if you'd tell me.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“I hardly loathe myself. Have you seen my ass?”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Ask me about my complete lack of interest. (T-shirt)”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“if everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane(T-Shirt)”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Have you slept yet?'
'Sure. I took a power nap on the way over.'
'Didn't you drive there?'
'Yeah. Other drviers kept waking me up. Car horns should be illegal.'
- Charley & Cookie”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“I strode toward Mr. Coffee with lust in my eyes. We'd had a thing for quite some time now Mr. Coffee and I...”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“You totally need to watch the news."
"Can't."
"Why?"
"It's too depressing."
"Right, because hanging with dead people isn't.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“But give up my business? The same business I'd built from the ground up with my own two hands and designer Louis Vuittons? The same business for which I'd sacrificed blood, sweat, and tears? Well, maybe not sweat and tears, but there was blood. Lots of blood. Give it up? Not likely. Besides, what else would I do? I totally should've gone to Hogwarts when I had the chance.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“I was never really certain why he scared the bejesus out of me. Nothing scared me growing up. I’ve been playing with dead people since the day I was born, so it’s good thing, yet the Big Bad scared me. Which brings me to the reason I called.”
“Which was to give me nightmares for the rest of my life?”
“Oh, no, that’s just a plus. Why was I so scared of him?”
“Hon, for one thing he was this powerful, massive, black smokelike being.”
“So, you’re saying I’m a racist?”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

“In a moment of sheer terror, I realized I couldn't feel my brain. It was there just a minute ago. Maybe I really was dead. "Do I look dead to you?”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Third Grave Dead Ahead

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“I don’t think they’re really mad,” said Ivy. “You don’t?” They had seemed pretty mad to Bean. “They have to act mad so they’ll seem fair to your sister,”
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“Sometimes finish and end don't mean the same thing.”
― John Myers Myers, quote from Silverlock

“The souvenir hunters were prowling among them, carefully ripping insignia off tunics, slipping rings off fingers, or pistols off belts. There was Souvenirs himself, stepping gingerly from corpse to corpse, armed with his plyers and a dentist flashlight that he had had the forethought to purchase in Melbourne. I stood among the heaps of dead, they lay crumpled, useless, defunct. The vital force was fled. A bullet or a mortar fragment had torn a hole in these frail vessels, and the substance had leapt out. The mysteries of the universe had once inhabited these lulling lumps, had given each an identity, a way of walking, perhaps a special habit of address or a way with words or a knack of putting color on canvas. They had been so different then, now they were nothing, heaps of nothing. Can a bullet or a mortar fragment do this? Does this force, this mystery, I mean this soul, does this spill out on the ground along with the blood? No. It is somewhere, I know it. For this red and yellow lump I look down upon this instant was once a man. And the thing that energized him, the word that gave to airy nothing a local habitation and a name, the word from a higher word this cannot have been obliterated by a quarter inch of heated metal. The mystery of the universe has departed him and it is no good to say that the riddle is solved. The mystery is over because it has changed residences. The thing that shaped the flare of that nostril, that broadened that arm now bleeding, that wrought so fine that limply lying hand, that thing exists still and has still the power to flare that nostril, to bend that arm to clench that fist exactly as it did before. Because it is gone you cannot say it will not return; even though you may say it has never yet returned-you cannot say that it will not. It is blasphemy to say a bit of metal has destroyed life, just as it is presumptuous to say that because life has disappeared it has been destroyed. I stood among the heaps of the dead and I knew-no, I felt that death is only a sound we make to signify the Thing we do not know.”
― Robert Leckie, quote from Helmet for My Pillow

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