Third Grave Dead Ahead

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. -T-Shirt

Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself. (T-Shirt)

There is a great need for a sarcasm font.

If life hands you lemons,keep them. Because, hey, free lemons.-T-Shirt

An integral part of any best friend's job is to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

I know karate, and like two other Japanese words - T-SHIRT

I chose the road less traveled. Now I'm lost.

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. - T-SHIRT

Never trust a man with a penis.

Holy shit, are you positive?" "As a pregnancy test a month after prom.

Want coffee?" I asked, as I headed that way. "It's three thirty in the morning." "Okay. Want coffee?

If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is NOT for you. (BUMPER STICKER)

Time to make today my bitch.

There comes a moment when you know you just aren't going to do anything esle productive for the rest of the day.-T-Shirt

No. This has to do with drugs." My jaw fell open and I almost lost my toothbrush. "You're on drugs?" She pressed her mouth together. "No. You are." "I'm on drugs?" I asked, stunned. I had no idea.

At first, I could lie about my lack of sleep and she'd fall for it, but she started suspecting insomnia when I began seeing purple elephants in the air vents at the office. I knew I shouldn't have asked her about them. I thought maybe she'd redecorated.

Let me express how much I don't care on a scale of one to bite me," the former detective said.

After a long, labored sigh, I said, “She was really happy when I got there. I’m pretty sure she was suicidal when I left.” “You do have that effect on people.

Oh, my god!" I said, throwing my hands over my eyes and hurtling my body against the counter. "What?" "You're naked." "I'm not naked." "I'm blind." "You're not blind. I'm wearing pants." "Oh." That was embarrassing.

Before I tell you, I have to know three things," I said. "Okay." "One, are you sitting down?" "Yes." "Two, are you mentally stable?" "More than you'll ever be." Well, that was uncalled for. "And three, how do you spell schizophrenia?" "What does that have to do with anything?" "Nothing. I just wanted to see if you'd tell me.

I hardly loathe myself. Have you seen my ass?

Ask me about my complete lack of interest. (T-shirt)

if everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane(T-Shirt)

Have you slept yet?' 'Sure. I took a power nap on the way over.' 'Didn't you drive there?' 'Yeah. Other drviers kept waking me up. Car horns should be illegal.' - Charley & Cookie

I strode toward Mr. Coffee with lust in my eyes. We'd had a thing for quite some time now Mr. Coffee and I...

You totally need to watch the news." "Can't." "Why?" "It's too depressing." "Right, because hanging with dead people isn't.

But give up my business? The same business I'd built from the ground up with my own two hands and designer Louis Vuittons? The same business for which I'd sacrificed blood, sweat, and tears? Well, maybe not sweat and tears, but there was blood. Lots of blood. Give it up? Not likely. Besides, what else would I do? I totally should've gone to Hogwarts when I had the chance.

I was never really certain why he scared the bejesus out of me. Nothing scared me growing up. I’ve been playing with dead people since the day I was born, so it’s good thing, yet the Big Bad scared me. Which brings me to the reason I called.” “Which was to give me nightmares for the rest of my life?” “Oh, no, that’s just a plus. Why was I so scared of him?” “Hon, for one thing he was this powerful, massive, black smokelike being.” “So, you’re saying I’m a racist?

In a moment of sheer terror, I realized I couldn't feel my brain. It was there just a minute ago. Maybe I really was dead. "Do I look dead to you?