Quotes from Fortunately, the Milk

Neil Gaiman ·  113 pages

Rating: (38.6K votes)


“Spoons are excellent. Sort of like forks, only not as stabby.”
― Neil Gaiman, quote from Fortunately, the Milk


“If the same object from two different times touches itself, one of two things will happen. Either the Universe will cease to exist. Or three remarkable dwarfs will dance through the streets with flowerpots on their heads.”
― Neil Gaiman, quote from Fortunately, the Milk


“You have your milk,” he said. “Where there is milk, there is hope.”
― Neil Gaiman, quote from Fortunately, the Milk


“No milk," I said.

"No milk," said my sister.

I watched my dad think about this. He looked like he was going to suggest that we have something for breakfast that you do not need milk for, like sausages, but then he looked like he remembered that, without milk, he couldn't have his tea. He had his "no tea" face.

"You poor children," he said. "I will walk down to the shop on the corner. I will get milk.”
― Neil Gaiman, quote from Fortunately, the Milk


“The globby aliens went a very pale green. The pirates, shiny-black-hair-men, and the piranhas looked at them puzzled, seeking some kind of explanation, as did the wumpires.

"If two things that are the same thing touch," proclaimed the volcano god, "then the whole Universe shall end. Thus sayeth the great and unutterable Splod."

"How does a volcano know so much about transtemporal meta-science?" asked one of the pale green aliens.

"Being a geological formation gives you a lot of time to think," said Splod. "Also, I subscribe to a number of learned journals.”
― Neil Gaiman, quote from Fortunately, the Milk



“Are there any ponies in this?" asked my sister. "I thought there would be ponies by now.”
― Neil Gaiman, quote from Fortunately, the Milk


“I think that there should have been some nice wumpires," said my sister, wistfully. "Nice, handsome, misunderstood wumpires."
"There were not," said my father.”
― Neil Gaiman, quote from Fortunately, the Milk


“But it’s not later yet,” said Professor Steg. “It’s still now. It won’t be later until later.”
― Neil Gaiman, quote from Fortunately, the Milk


“Being a geological formation gives you a lot of time to think. Also, I subscribed to a number of learned journals.”
― Neil Gaiman, quote from Fortunately, the Milk


“How Do You Feel This Morning When You Know What You Did Last Night?”
― Neil Gaiman, quote from Fortunately, the Milk



“I opened the door. “Don’t do that,” said a green, globby person. “You’ll let the space-time continuum in.”
― Neil Gaiman, quote from Fortunately, the Milk


“All the dinosaurs have gone off into the stars, leaving the world to mammals.”
― Neil Gaiman, quote from Fortunately, the Milk


“My hands shook, but the milk did not touch the milk, and the Universe did not end.”
― Neil Gaiman, quote from Fortunately, the Milk


“And then they all sang a song called "I've Got a Loverly Bunch of Hard-hairy-wet-white-crunchers," which was an ancient dinosaur song that had apparently been written by Professor Steg's Aunt Button.”
― Neil Gaiman, quote from Fortunately, the Milk


“The person in the balloon basket said "I hope you don't mind me helping, but it looked like you were having problems down there."

I said, "You're a Stegosaurus.”
― Neil Gaiman, quote from Fortunately, the Milk



“Then [the dinosaurs] sang me a song called, "Don't Go Down to the Tar Pits, Dear, Because I'm Getting Stuck on You.”
― Neil Gaiman, quote from Fortunately, the Milk


“Dinosaurs are reptiles, sir," said Professor Steg. "We do not go in for milk.”
― Neil Gaiman, quote from Fortunately, the Milk


About the author

Neil Gaiman
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“When we learn to work with our own Inner Nature, and with the natural laws operating around us, we reach the level of Wu Wei. Then we work with the natural order of things and operate on the principle of minimal effort. Since the natural world follows that principle, it does not make mistakes. Mistakes are made–or imagined–by man, the creature with the overloaded Brain who separates himself from the supporting network of natural laws by interfering and trying too hard.

When you work with Wu Wei, you put the round peg in the round hole and the square peg in the square hole. No stress, no struggle. Egotistical Desire tries to force the round peg into the square hole and the square peg into the round hole. Cleverness tries to devise craftier ways of making pegs fit where they don’t belong. Knowledge tries to figure out why round pegs fit into round holes, but not square holes. Wu Wei doesn’t try. It doesn’t think about it. It just does it. And when it does, it doesn’t appear to do much of anything. But Things Get Done.

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