Jeff Kinney · 224 pages
Rating: (107.3K votes)
“You and your group of nerds fall into a pit and it's full of dynamite and you blow up. The End.”
“I don't know if this makes me a bad person or whatever, but it's hard for me to get interested in other people's vacations.”
“Youre gonna grow up and marry some ice cream! Haha!”
“Chirag: Rowley, do you think I exist?
Rowley: Nope! I can't even hear you or see you!”
“Most people don't seem to appreciate a person as honest as me. So don't ask me how George Washington ever got to be president.”
“After the presentations, we had to fill out these questionnaires. The first question was, 'Where do you see yourself in fifteen years?'
I know EXACTLY where I will be in fifteen years: in my pool, at my mansion, counting my money. But there weren't any check boxes for THAT option.”
“Well, for starters, Abraham Lincoln didn't write 'To Kill a Mockingbird.”
“Lark: "You shouldn't yell at her."
Frostpine: "Of course I should. Gods bless us all, Lark, but our Water dedicates would try the patience of a stone."
— Dedicates Lark and Frostpine when the latter found out that the Water Temple had run out of warded boxes”
“Don't we teach our women to view all men according to the actions of a few?”
“Desperate times call for desperate measures. That's a saying, or a bit of advice, or a catchprase, or a string of words used to confuse people less intelligent than you. In any case, it means: Life is tough, so you'd better fight hard-or something like that.”
“Men think about right and wrong, they have to debate it, discuss it, draw upon possibilities and statistics, laws and codes. Wolves have to know. They have to know in an instant, pure instinct, not thought, because they can never be wrong. If they're wrong, the ice they walk upon cracks, their lungs filled with cold water and crystals. If they're wrong, their brothers and sisters starve and their pups are shot as they run. If they're wrong, the rabid wolf comes back, and he always comes back, only this time they're sleeping, and they can't even put up a fight as he splits them apart.”
“What a curious power words have.”
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