Jeff Kinney · 224 pages
Rating: (107.3K votes)
“You and your group of nerds fall into a pit and it's full of dynamite and you blow up. The End.”
“I don't know if this makes me a bad person or whatever, but it's hard for me to get interested in other people's vacations.”
“Youre gonna grow up and marry some ice cream! Haha!”
“Chirag: Rowley, do you think I exist?
Rowley: Nope! I can't even hear you or see you!”
“Most people don't seem to appreciate a person as honest as me. So don't ask me how George Washington ever got to be president.”
“After the presentations, we had to fill out these questionnaires. The first question was, 'Where do you see yourself in fifteen years?'
I know EXACTLY where I will be in fifteen years: in my pool, at my mansion, counting my money. But there weren't any check boxes for THAT option.”
“Well, for starters, Abraham Lincoln didn't write 'To Kill a Mockingbird.”
“And that’s my title, now. Master of the Games.”
“The one critisism the author of Slaugherhouse-Five would make of the young writer was what he called a punctuation problem. Mr. Vonnegut didn't like all the semicolons. 'People will probably figure out that you went to college -- you don't have to try to prove it to them,' he told Danny.”
“Normal science, the activity in which most scientists inevitably spend almost all their time, is predicated on the assumption that the scientific community knows what the world is like”
“It makes a big difference in your life when you stay positive.”
“For the first time in twenty-two years after the jaw tilt, Feb didn’t take her eyes off him. And for the first time in twenty-two years, he gave her a smile.”
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