Jeff Kinney · 224 pages
Rating: (107.3K votes)
“You and your group of nerds fall into a pit and it's full of dynamite and you blow up. The End.”
― Jeff Kinney, quote from Diary of a Wimpey Kid: Roderick Rules
“I don't know if this makes me a bad person or whatever, but it's hard for me to get interested in other people's vacations.”
― Jeff Kinney, quote from Diary of a Wimpey Kid: Roderick Rules
“Youre gonna grow up and marry some ice cream! Haha!”
― Jeff Kinney, quote from Diary of a Wimpey Kid: Roderick Rules
“Chirag: Rowley, do you think I exist?
Rowley: Nope! I can't even hear you or see you!”
― Jeff Kinney, quote from Diary of a Wimpey Kid: Roderick Rules
“Most people don't seem to appreciate a person as honest as me. So don't ask me how George Washington ever got to be president.”
― Jeff Kinney, quote from Diary of a Wimpey Kid: Roderick Rules
“After the presentations, we had to fill out these questionnaires. The first question was, 'Where do you see yourself in fifteen years?'
I know EXACTLY where I will be in fifteen years: in my pool, at my mansion, counting my money. But there weren't any check boxes for THAT option.”
― Jeff Kinney, quote from Diary of a Wimpey Kid: Roderick Rules
“Well, for starters, Abraham Lincoln didn't write 'To Kill a Mockingbird.”
― Jeff Kinney, quote from Diary of a Wimpey Kid: Roderick Rules
Jeff Kinney
Born place: in Andrews Air Force Base, Maryland, The United States
Born date February 19, 2018
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“...if God chooses quite another lot for you, you may be sure that He sees that you need something totally different from what you want.”
― Elizabeth Payson Prentiss, quote from Stepping Heavenward
“If there had been another female for him since we arrived in Salvation, I needed to cut off all her hair and beat her half to death. The strength of that impulse scared me, and I took a step back. Deuce the girl was every bit as vicious as the Huntress, it seemed”
― Ann Aguirre, quote from Outpost
“Sometimes our fate is different from the one we imagined for ourselves.”
― Jean Kwok, quote from Girl in Translation
“You want to see safe hands?' her dad asked. He went to the fruit bowl on the side of the table, took two apples and proceeded to juggle them. 'See? Safe as anything.'
'Are you proposing you juggle our newborn child?'
'Of course not,' he said. 'I'd only be able to juggle her if you'd had twins. Otherwise it would just be throwing.'
(...) 'From this moment on, I will be the best father the world has ever seen. Wifey, may I please hold my child?'
Valkyrie's mum looked at him suspiciously. 'When you hold a baby, what's the most important thing to remember?'
'Not to drop it,' he said proudly.
'Well, yes, well done dear, but I was thinking more about how you hold the baby.'
'Ah,' he said, 'Of course. The secret to holding a baby is to pick it up by the scruff of its neck.'
'You're thinking of kittens.'
'Pick it up by the ears, then.'
'You're thinking of nothing.'
'Can I please just hold her?'
'I don't think that's wise.'
'A lot of things aren't wise, Melissa. Is crossing the road with your eyes closed wise? No, but I do it anyway.'
His wife nodded. 'Stephanie, you are in charge of teaching Alice how to cross the road.”
― Derek Landy, quote from Death Bringer
“You gave her your heart, and she gave you the bird.” Nïx sighed. “Songs will be written about this.”
― Kresley Cole, quote from Lothaire
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Maya's Notebook
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