Jeff Kinney · 224 pages
Rating: (107.3K votes)
“You and your group of nerds fall into a pit and it's full of dynamite and you blow up. The End.”
― Jeff Kinney, quote from Diary of a Wimpey Kid: Roderick Rules
“I don't know if this makes me a bad person or whatever, but it's hard for me to get interested in other people's vacations.”
― Jeff Kinney, quote from Diary of a Wimpey Kid: Roderick Rules
“Youre gonna grow up and marry some ice cream! Haha!”
― Jeff Kinney, quote from Diary of a Wimpey Kid: Roderick Rules
“Chirag: Rowley, do you think I exist?
Rowley: Nope! I can't even hear you or see you!”
― Jeff Kinney, quote from Diary of a Wimpey Kid: Roderick Rules
“Most people don't seem to appreciate a person as honest as me. So don't ask me how George Washington ever got to be president.”
― Jeff Kinney, quote from Diary of a Wimpey Kid: Roderick Rules
“After the presentations, we had to fill out these questionnaires. The first question was, 'Where do you see yourself in fifteen years?'
I know EXACTLY where I will be in fifteen years: in my pool, at my mansion, counting my money. But there weren't any check boxes for THAT option.”
― Jeff Kinney, quote from Diary of a Wimpey Kid: Roderick Rules
“Well, for starters, Abraham Lincoln didn't write 'To Kill a Mockingbird.”
― Jeff Kinney, quote from Diary of a Wimpey Kid: Roderick Rules
Jeff Kinney
Born place: in Andrews Air Force Base, Maryland, The United States
Born date February 19, 2018
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“It is my belief no man ever understands quite his own artful dodges to escape from the grim shadow of self-knowledge.”
― Joseph Conrad, quote from Lord Jim
“A veces, los más grandes estúpidos son más astutos que los que se ríen de ellos.”
― George R.R. Martin, quote from A Storm of Swords: Steel and Snow
“And that was it; it was so easy for her. My own memories did not even belong to me. But I knew she was wrong. I had seen that comet. I knew it as well as I knew my own face, my own hands. My own heart.”
― Sarah Dessen, quote from Someone Like You
“She worries over the way her love for me comes and goes, appears and disappears. She doubts its reality simply because it isn't as steadily pleasurable as a kitten. God knows it is sad. The human voice conspires to desecrate everything on earth.”
― J.D. Salinger, quote from Raise High the Roof Beam, Carpenters & Seymour: An Introduction
“She narrowed her eyes at him. She wanted to tell him that it was his fault, that she would never have tripped if he’d just stayed the same old Jay he’d always been, gangly and childlike. But she knew that she was being irrational. He was bound to grow up eventually; she’d just never imagined that he’d grow up so well. Instead she accused him: “Well, maybe if you hadn’t pushed me I wouldn’t have fallen.” She made the outlandish accusation with a completely straight face.
He shook his head. “You’ll never be able to prove it. There were no witnesses—it’s just your word against mine.”
She giggled and hopped down. “Yeah, well, who’s gonna believe you over me? Weren’t you the one who shoplifted a candy bar from the Safeway?” She limped over to the sink while she taunted him with her words, and she washed the dirt from the minor scrapes on her palms.
“Whatever! I was seven. And I believe you were the one who handed it to me and told me to hide it in my sleeve. Technically that makes you the mastermind of that little operation, doesn’t it?” He came up behind her, and reaching around her, he poured some of the antibacterial wash onto her hands.
She was taken completely off guard by the intimate gesture. She froze as she felt his chest pressing against her back until that was all she could think about for the moment and the temporarily forgot how to speak. She watched as the red scrapes fizzed with white bubbles from the disinfectant. He leaned over her shoulder, setting the bottle down and pulling her hands up toward him. He blew on them too. Violet didn’t even notice the sting this time.
And then it was over. He released her hands, and as she stood there, dazed, he handed her a clean towel to dry them on.
When she turned around to face him, she realized that she had been the only one affected by the moment, that his touch had been completely innocent.
He was looking at her like he was waiting for her to say something, and she was suddenly aware that her mouth was still open. She finally gathered her wits enough to speak again. “Yeah, well, maybe if you hadn’t done it right in front of the cashier, we might have gotten away with it. Instead, you got both of us grounded for stealing.”
He didn’t miss a beat, and he seemed unaware of her temporary lapse. “And some might say that our grounding saved us from a life of crime.”
She hung the towel over the oven’s door handle. “Maybe it saved me, but the jury’s still out on you. I always thought you were kind of a bad seed.”
He gave her a questioning look. “Seriously, a ‘bad seed’, Vi? When did you turn ninety and start saying things like ‘bad seed’?”
She pushed him as she walked by, even though he really wasn’t in her way. He gave her a playful shove from behind and teased her, “Don’t make me trip you again.”
Now more than ever, Violet hoped that this crush of hers passed soon, so she could get back to the business of being just friends. Otherwise, this was going to be a long—and painful—year.”
― Kimberly Derting, quote from The Body Finder
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