Dancing in My Nuddy-Pants

Everyone is so obsessed with themselves nowadays that they have no time for me.

He who laughs last laughs the laughiest.

Oh no. I've just accidently paid a visit to the cakeshop of love. I haven't put back my Italian cakey, but I have accidentally picked up a Dave the Tart.

Non...I am DANCING IN MY NUDDY-PANTS!!!' And we both laughed like loons on loon tablets. I danced for ages round the house in my nuddy-pants. Also, I did this brilliant thing-I danced in the front window just for a second whilst Mr. Across the Road was drawing his curtains. He will never be sure if he saw a mirage or not. That is the kind of person I am. Not really the kind of person who goes and raises elks in Whakatane.

Dad has brought me a cup of tea in bed this morning! I said, 'Vati, why are you waking me up in the middle of the night? Are you on fire?

Jassie, guess what I'm dancing in!' 'I don't know, a bowl?' 'Non... I am dancing in my Nuddy-pants!

Oh, Blimey O'Riley's pantyhose....What is the point of Shakespeare? I know he is a genius and so on, but he does rave on. 'What light doth through yonder window break?' It's the bloody moon, for God sake, Will, get a grip!

I can't believe the poo-osity of my life!

Kedves Muti és Vati! Remélem, a macskalincselő gyűlés rendben zajlik. Találtam egy darabka száraz pirítóst a teámhoz meg egy kis kukoricapelyhet, hogy elkerüljem a skorbutot. Gondoljatok rám, ha akad egy szabad percetek. Lányotok, Georgia

I hope it snows early next term and then I can try out the hilariosity of my new idea vis-à-vis glove animal and snow blindness.

I care too much for people. I am a bit like Jesus. Only not so heavily bearded.

In the end they worked out that Angus must have sneaked into Naomi’s love parlor before his trouser snake addendums were, you know…adjusted. Super-Cat!!! He is without doubt the 007 of the cat world.

Our New Year “Let’s go down the disco” experience, with the aid of Charlie Horse and Teddy as partners, was actually quite good fun on the funosity scale.

But I can be a very kind and caring person, especially if I am about three thousand miles away in a different country.

what do you do with Sex Gods? Besides snog and worship them, I mean.

She who laughs last laughs the laughingest.

I said with great dignosity, “Father, I am afraid I can’t discuss my private life with you as I have a date with Lord of the Flies.

Lord of the Flies is so boring…and so weird. I always thought boys were very very strange, but I didn’t think they would start eating each other.

Jackie wears even more makeup than those scary circus people. You know, when you go to the circus and you accidentally see a trapeze artist close-up and they are orange.

I said to Mum, “Vati is very very like David Beckham, isn’t he? Apart from being porky, heavily bearded and crap at football.

Campingfahrt means not, as you might imagine, an unfortunate incident with Libby in a tent…. It means “camping trip.” I think I have a natural talent for languages.

What in the name of Buddha’s bra is he going on about now?

As we passed a bloke playing a saxophone underneath one of the arches, he put down the sax and started doing a juggling thing with his hands. It was a bit peculiar, though, because, as I said to Jas, “He hasn’t got any balls.

As I have said with huge wisdomosity many times, boys the world over are a bloody mystery.

I know there is an unseen power at work of which we have little comprehension, but I don’t really feel I can consult with Jesus about my basoomas.