“Error can point the way to truth, while empty-headedness can only lead to more empty-headedness or to a career in politics.”
― Barry Hughart, quote from Bridge of Birds
“Fable has strong shoulders that carry far more truth than fact can.”
― Barry Hughart, quote from Bridge of Birds
“The supernatural can be very annoying until one finds the key that transforms it into science," he observed mildly... "Come on, Ox, let's go out and get killed.”
― Barry Hughart, quote from Bridge of Birds
“The emotional health of a village depended upon having a man whom everyone loved to hate, and Heaven had blessed us with two of them.”
― Barry Hughart, quote from Bridge of Birds
“'O great and mighty Master Li, pray impart to me the Secret of Wisdom!' he bawled.
'Take a large bowl,' I said. 'Fill it with equal measures of fact, fantasy, history, mythology, science, superstition, logic, and lunacy. Darken the mixture with bitter tears, brighten it with howls of laughter, toss in three thousand years of civilization, bellow kan pei — which means "dry cup" — and drink to the dregs.'
Procopius stared at me. 'And I will be wise?' he asked.
'Better,' I said. 'You will be Chinese.'”
― Barry Hughart, quote from Bridge of Birds
“Blessed are the idiots, for they are happiest people on earth.”
― Barry Hughart, quote from Bridge of Birds
“'Immortality is only for the gods,' he whispered. 'I wonder how they can stand it.'”
― Barry Hughart, quote from Bridge of Birds
“Don't be ashamed of reliving your childhood, Ox, because all of us must do it now and then to maintain our sanity.”
― Barry Hughart, quote from Bridge of Birds
“...the problem with poetic justice is that it never knows when to stop.”
― Barry Hughart, quote from Bridge of Birds
“Master Li, how are we going to murder a man who laughs at axes?" I asked.
We are going to experiment, dear boy. Our first order of business will be to find a deranged alchemist, which should not be very difficult. China," said Master Li, "is overstocked with deranged alchemists.”
― Barry Hughart, quote from Bridge of Birds
“Mystery and terror are the bulwarks of tyranny.”
― Barry Hughart, quote from Bridge of Birds
“....Master Li turned bright red while he scorched the air with the Sixty Sequential Sacrileges with which he had won the all-China Freestyle Blasphemy Competition in Hangchow three years in a row.”
― Barry Hughart, quote from Bridge of Birds
“I shall clasp my hands together and bow to the corners of the world.
May your villages remain ignorant of tax collectors, and may your sons be many and ugly and strong and willing workers, and may your daughters be few and beautiful and excellent providers of love gifts from eminent families that live very far away, and may your lives be blessed by the beauty that has touched mine.
Farewell.”
― Barry Hughart, quote from Bridge of Birds
“everybody knows that the soul of a cat is formed from the composite souls of nine debauched nuns who failed in their vows.”
― Barry Hughart, quote from Bridge of Birds
“Boy, just look at the soul shining through my eyes! It’s like a goddamned flower!”
― Barry Hughart, quote from Bridge of Birds
“Coge un cuenco grande, dije. Llénalo con medidas iguales de hechos, fantasías, historia, mitología, ciencia, superstición, lógica y locura. Oscurece la mezcla con lágrimas amargas, aclárala con carcajadas, viértele tres mil años de civilización, grita kan pei, que significa "copa seca", y bébela hasta las heces."
Propocio me clavó los ojos. "¿Y seré sabio?", preguntó.
"Mejor que eso", le respondí. "Serás chino.”
― Barry Hughart, quote from Bridge of Birds
“I have decided that the problem with poetic justice is that it never knows when to stop.”
― Barry Hughart, quote from Bridge of Birds
“...the emotional health of a village depended upon having a man whom everyone hated.”
― Barry Hughart, quote from Bridge of Birds
“Key Rabbit, allow me to bore you with a comparison of your wife and a beautiful woman," I said. "In the morning a beauty must lie in bed for three or four hours gathering strength for another mighty battle with Nature. Then, after being bathed and toweled by her maids, she loosens her hair in the Cascade of Teasing Willows Style, paints her eyebrows in the Distant Mountain Range Style, anoints herself with the Nine Bends of the River Diving-water Perfume, applies rouge, mascara, and eye shadow, and covers the whole works with a good two inches of the Powder of the Nonchalant Approach. Then she dresses in a plum-blossom patterned tunic with matching skirt and stockings, adds four or five pounds of jewelry, looks in the mirror for any visible sign of humanity and is relieved to find none, checks her makeup to be sure that it has hardened into an immovable mask, sprinkles herself with the Hundred Ingredients Perfume of the Heavenly Spirits who Descended in the Rain Shower, and minces with tiny steps toward the new day. Which, like any other day, will consist of gossip and giggles.”
― Barry Hughart, quote from Bridge of Birds
“Nothing on the face of this earth - and I do mean nothing - is half so dangerous as a children's story that happens to be real, and you and I are wandering blindfolded through a myth devised by a maniac.”
― Barry Hughart, quote from Bridge of Birds
“Nothing on the face of this earth - and I do mean nothing - is half so dangerous as a children's story that happens to be real...”
― Barry Hughart, quote from Bridge of Birds
“Immortality is a meaningless word unless invulnerability goes with it.”
― Barry Hughart, quote from Bridge of Birds
“...Men cannot come any closer to immortality without going insane.”
― Barry Hughart, quote from Bridge of Birds
“Alas, great is my sorrow. Your name is Ah Chen, and when you were born I was not truly pleased. I am a farmer, and a farmer needs strong sons to help with his work, but before a year had passed you had stolen my heart. You grew more teeth, and you grew daily in wisdom, and you said 'Mommy' and 'Daddy' and your pronunciation was perfect. When you were three you would knock at the door and then you would run back and ask, 'Who is it?' When you were four your uncle came to visit and you played the host. Lifting your cup, you said, 'Ching!' and we roared with laughter and you blushed and covered your face with your hands, but I know that you thought yourself very clever. Now they tell me that I must try to forget you, but it is hard to forget you.
"You carried a toy basket. You sat at a low stool to eat porridge. You repeated the Great Learning and bowed to Buddha. You played at guessing games, and romped around the house. You were very brave, and when you fell and cut your knee you did not cry because you did not think it was right. When you picked up fruit or rice, you always looked at people's faces to see if it was all right before putting it in your mouth, and you were careful not to tear your clothes.
"Ah Chen, do you remember how worried we were when the flood broke our dikes and the sickness killed our pigs? Then the Duke of Ch'in raised our taxes and I was sent to plead with him, and I made him believe that we could not pay out taxes. Peasants who cannot pay taxes are useless to dukes, so he sent his soldiers to destroy our village, and thus it was the foolishness of your father that led to your death. Now you have gone to Hell to be judged, and I know that you must be very frightened, but you must try not to cry or make loud noises because it is not like being at home with your own people.
"Ah Chen, do you remember Auntie Yang, the midwife? She was also killed, and she was very fond of you. She had no little girls of her own, so it is alright for you to try and find her, and to offer her your hand and ask her to take care of you. When you come before the Yama Kings, you should clasp your hands together and plead to them: 'I am young and I am innocent. I was born in a poor family, and I was content with scanty meals. I was never wilfully careless of my shoes and my clothing, and I never wasted a grain of rice. If evil spirits bully me, may thou protect me.' You should put it just that way, and I am sure that the Yama Kings will protect you.
"Ah Chen, I have soup for you and I will burn paper money for you to use, and the priest is writing down this prayer that I will send to you. If you hear my prayer, will you come to see me in your dreams? If fate so wills that you must yet lead an earthly life, I pray that you will come again to your mother's womb. Meanwhile I will cry, 'Ah Chen, your father is here!' I can but weep for you, and call your name.”
― Barry Hughart, quote from Bridge of Birds
Barry Hughart
Born place: in Peoria, Illinois, The United States
Born date March 13, 1934
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“With one paw, trying the edges of the winter pond, finding its waters solid, he advances, nails sliding, still far from home.”
― André Alexis, quote from Fifteen Dogs
“In a world where God does not exist, where science has done everything to systematically remove any sort of deity from society, does she turn to one anyway? Despite all its answers and logic, science offers no comfort, no hope. Not at times like these. I”
― K.E. Ganshert, quote from The Gifting
“We use God to justify our actions when in fact it is our own instinct for survival that pushes us on.”
― Deborah Moggach, quote from Tulip Fever
“Queen Lily Ruckler, negotiations have ceased with the Commoner leaders of the world. The time for attempting peace is over. There is no other viable option. Mystical-Commoner World War II has been officially declared. Strike now. My heartfelt regrets, Elder Richard Harcourt.” I lowered the missive while Bonnie jumped onto the table, sitting regally but watching everyone warily in front of where I stood, and I stated, “We’re officially at war. I want to strike Sydney’s defenses within the hour, before they realize what’s happening.” My dead gaze landed on Antonio. I blinked, and then moved on to every gentleman and lady in the room, letting my power touch each of them so that no one would dare argue with me. “I will lead the attack alongside Elder Farrar.”
I did.
I relished it, my rage finally finding a useful outlet.
Surprise, surprise, I fucking finally found something I excelled at.
Bloodshed.”
― Scarlett Dawn, quote from King Hall
“14Hearken unto this, O Job: stand still, and aconsider the wondrous works of God. 15Dost thou know when God 1disposed them, and caused the light of his cloud to shine? 16aDost thou know the balancings of the clouds, the wondrous works of bhim which is perfect in knowledge?”
― quote from KJV Study Bible
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