“I wish I had a boyfriend. I wish he lived in the wardrobe on a coat hanger. Whenever I wanted, I could get him out and he'd look at me the way boys do in films, as if I'm beautiful.”
“I love you. I love you. I send this message through my fingers and into his, up his arm and into his heart. Hear me. I love you. And I'm sorry to leave you.”
“I love you. It hurts more than anything ever has, but I do. So don't you dare tell me I don't. Don't you ever say it again!”
“Bye, Tess. haunt me if you like. I don't mind.”
“Adam strokes my head, my face, he kisses my tears.
We are blessed.
Let them all go.
The sound of a bird flying low across the garden. Then nothing. Nothing. A cloud passes. Nothing again. Light falls through the window, falls onto me, into me.
Moments.
All gathering towards this one.”
“Keep breathing. Just keep doing it. It's easy. In and out.”
“Every few years we disappear, Zoey. All our cells are replaced by others. Not a single bit of me is the same as when I was last in this room.”
“We said we'd be friends.'
He looks confused. 'Yeah.'
I don't want to be.'
There's space between us, and in that space there's darkness. I take another step, so close that we share a breath. The same one. In and out.
Tess,' he says. I know it's a warning, but I don't care.
What's the worst thing that can happen?'
It'll hurt,' he says.
It already hurts.'
He nods very slowly. And it's like there's a hole in time, as if everything stops and in this one minute, where we look at each other so close, is spread out between us. As he leans towards me, I feel a strange warmth filtering through me. I forget that my brain is full of every sad face at every window I've ever passed.”
“Moments.
All gathering towards this one.”
“I made a fatal error thinking he could save me.”
“Hold my hand. Don't let go.”
“Then she says, ‘I love you.’ Like three drops of blood falling onto snow.”
“We make patterns, we share moments. Sometimes, I think I'm the only one to see it.”
“I've always wanted to be a cat. Warm and domesticated when you want to be, wild when you don't.”
“I want to die in my own way. It's my illness, my death, my choice. This is what saying yes means.”
“Instructions for Adam
Look after no one except yourself. Go to university and make lots of friends and get drunk. Forget your door keyes. Laugh. Eat pot-noodles for breakfast. Miss lectures. Be irresponsible.”
“when I was four I almost fell down the shaft of a tin mine and when I was five the car rolled over on the motorway and when I was seven we went on holiday and the gas ring blew out in the caravan and nobody noticed
I've been dying all my life”
“Cal says that humans are made from the nuclear ash of dead stars. He says that when I die, I'll return to dust, glitter,rain. If thats true, I want to be buried right here under this tree. Its roots will reach into the soft mess of my body and suck me dry. I'll be re-formed as apple blossom. I'll drift down in the spring like confetti and cling to my family's shoes. They'll carry me in their pockets to help them sleep. What dreams will they have then?”
“Every seven years our bodies change, every cell. Every seven years, we disappear.”
“I'm me and you're you, and all of them out there are them. And we're all so different and equally unimportant.”
“We make patterns, we share moments.”
“I want the people I love to get up and speak about me, and even if you cry it'll be OK. I want you to say honest things.”
“All I know is that I have two choices – stay wrapped in blankets and get on with dying, or get the list back together and get on with living.”
“She'll understand what I already know - that death surrounds us all. And it tastes like metal between your teeth.”
“Afterwards, go to a pub for lunch. I've got $260 in my savings account and I really want you to use it for that. Really, I mean it--lunch is on me. Make sure you have pudding--sticky toffee, chocolate fudge cake, ice-cream sundae, something really bad for you. Get drunk too if you like (but don't scare Cal). Spend all the money.
And after that, when days have gone by, keep an eye out for me. I might write on the steam in the mirror when you're having a bath, or play with the leaves on the apple tree when you're out in the garden. I might slip into a dream.
Visit my grave when you can, but don't kick yourself if you can't, or if you move house and it's suddenly too far away. It looks pretty there in the summer (check out the website). You could bring a picnic and sit with me. I'd like that.”
“It's utterly beautiful not to know my own edges.”
“I said I wouldn't leave her.”
“You just like to piss me off,” Jack said.
“Well, there’s that. On the other hand, we’ll find out really fast just how much of a bastard you’re going to be to live with—with your woman around. You get out of line, and I’ll have to take you out behind the barn.”
“We don’t have a barn.”
“I told you we needed a barn, damn it,” Ken said. “You had to have a shop. It doesn’t sound the same saying I’m taking you out behind the shop.”
“It is better to be hated for what you are, than loved for what you are not.” — ANDRÉ GIDE”
“...You think I lead these people for my own whim? I lead these people, honorable knight, because they have no one but me. Because they came to me when the humans slaughtered their families and drove them out. And I'll keep this place safe for them no matter how much spying and lying and killing it takes. You've never been a commander, lordling, or you'd know that it's easy to prate about honor when you're not responsible for others' lives. But let me tell you a bit of truth--sometimes honor doesn't get it done.”
“It's like she had a soul that was much too big for her; it filled her to the brim till there was no more space, so it flowed out through her eyes.”
“Dunque," chiese, "tu non apprezzi proprio la fedeltà? La fedeltà alle proprie memorie?"
"Io credo che solo il presente abbia importanza, non il passato. Lasciamolo perdere il passato. Se cerchiamo di mantenerlo in vita, lo alteriamo, lo vediamo in una prospettiva sbagliata...esageriamo sempre."
"Ma io ricordo a perfezione ogni parola e ogni incidente di quei giorni!" esclamò David con passione.
"E non dovresti, caro: perché così rivivi quei giorni col sentimento di un ragazzo, mentre dovresti giudicarli con l'equilibrio e la maturità di un uomo."
"E che importa?"
Hilda esitò. Si rendeva conto che non era saggio proseguire, eppure desiderava troppo dire certe cose.
"Ecco...io credo che tu continui a veder tuo padre come un...mostro. Ne fai una specie di personificazione del male...Probabilmente invece, se lo vedessi oggi, ti renderesti conto che è un uomo qualunque, un uomo forse dominato dalle passioni, non esente da biasimo, ma sempre e soltanto un uomo, non una specie di mostro inumano."
"Non capisci...Il modo in cui ha trattato mia madre..."
"Vi è una certa forma di dolcezza, di sottomissione," disse Hilda gravemente, "che stimola i peggiori istinti di un uomo, mentre lo stesso uomo affrontato con spirito deciso diventerebbe una creatura tutta diversa."
"Dunque, secondo te, è colpa della mamma..."
"No, no," lo interruppe Hilda. "Sono certa che tuo padre deve averla trattata molto male, ma...ma il matrimonio è una cosa specialissima e non credo che un estraneo - sia pure un figlio - abbia il diritto di giudicare tra i coniugi. Comunque, il tuo risentimento attuale non può più aiutare in nulla tua madre...Tutto è finito, ormai: non rimane che un vecchio malandato in salute che desidera rivedere suo figlio per Natale."
"E tu vuoi che io vada?"
Ancora una volta Hilda esitò. Poi si decise.
"Sì," disse. "Desidero che tu vada, e la faccia finita una volta per tutte.”
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