Terry Pratchett · 256 pages
Rating: (31.3K votes)
“If you don't turn your life into a story, you just become a part of someone else's story.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents
“A good plan isn't one where someone wins, it's where nobody thinks they've lost.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents
“Listen, Peaches, trickery is what humans are all about," said the voice of Maurice. "They're so keen on tricking one another all the time that they elect governments to do it for them.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents
“The trouble with thinking was that, once you started, you went on doing it.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents
“The important thing about adventures, thought Mr. Bunnsy, was that they shouldn't be so long as to make you miss mealtimes.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents
“Because some stories end, but old stories go on, and you gotta dance to the music if you want to stay ahead”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents
“People were people, even if they had four legs and had called themselves names like Dangerous Beans, which is the kind of name you gave yourself if you learned to read before you understood what all the words actually meant.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents
“Maurice watched them argue again. Humans, eh? Think they're lords of creation. Not like us cats. We know we are. Ever see a cat feed a human? Case proven.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents
“But there was more to it than that. As the Amazing Maurice said, it was just a story about people and rats. And the difficult part of it was deciding who the people were, and who were the rats.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents
“And our lady friend, she thinks life works like a fairy tale.'
Well, that’s harmless, isn’t it?'
Yeah, but in fairy tales, when someone dies... it’s just a word.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents
“The second mouse gets the cheese!”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents
“The thing about stories is you have to pick the ones that last.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents
“What was the point of education, he thought, if people went out afterward and used it?”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents
“Here's what I suggest," he said. "You pretend that rats can think, and I'll promise to pretend that humans can think, too.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents
“You can think and you can fight, but the world's always movin', and if you wanna stay ahead you gotta dance.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents
“Can I ask a question, sir?" said Maurice, as Death turned to go.
You May Not Get An Answer.
"I suppose there isn't a Big Cat in the Sky, is there?"
I'm Surprised At You, Maurice. Of Course There Are No Cat Gods. That Would Be Too Much Like...Work.
Maurice nodded. One good thing about being a cat, apart from the extra lives, was that the theology was a lot simpler.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents
“They hadn't read as many stories as Malicia, and were rather more attached to the experience of real life, which is that when someone small and righteous takes on someone big and nasty, he is grilled bread product, very quickly.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents
“One day, when he was naughty, Mr. Bunnsy looked over the hedge into Farmer Fred’s field and saw it was full of fresh green lettuces. Mr. Bunnsy, however, was not full of lettuces. This did not seem fair.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents
“Scuse me, ’scuse me,” said a voice from beside him. He looked down this time at a dirty, half-scorched cat, who grinned at him. “Did that cat just speak?” asked the mayor. Maurice looked around. “Which one?” he said. “You! Did you just talk?” “Would you feel better if I said no?” said Maurice.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents
“He famously defended fairy stories against those who said they told children that there were monsters; children already know that there are monsters, he said, and fairy stories teach them that monsters can be killed. We now know that the monsters may not simply have scales and sleep under a mountain. They may be in our own heads.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents
“To be a leader you have to learn to shout! But after you've learned to shout, you have to learn not to!”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents
“A good motto in life, he'd reckoned, was: don't eat anything that glows.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents
“This is inhuman!” shrieked Rat-catcher 2.
“No, it’s very human,” said Keith. “It’s extremely human. There isn’t a beast in the world that’d do it to another living thing, but your poisons do it to rats every day.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents
“You saying killing a rat would be murder?" said Raufman.
"Yes. Of course."
"But it's just - "
"Talk to the paw, mister, 'cos the whiskers don't want to know!”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents
“I thought we used to kill rats?" he said, as if he wasn't quite certain anymore.
"Yes, but you see, sir, this is the future," said Maurice.
"Is it?" said Mr. Schlummer. "Really? I always wondered when the future was going to happen. Oh, well. Cats talk now, too? Well done! Got to move with the, mm, the...things that move, obviously. Wake me up when they bring the tea in.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents
“...there was a general murmuring, no real words, nothing that would get anyone into trouble if the piper turned nasty, but a muttering indicating, in a general sense, without wishing to cause umbrage, and seeing everyone's point of view, and taking one thing with another, and all things being equal, that people would like to see the boy given a chance, if it's all right with you, no offence meant.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents
“Какъв е смисъла на образованието - помисли си, - щом хората ще го ползват?”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents
“Luckily I’m prepared for every eventuality,” said Malicia, and reached into her bag. There was a sound as of lumps of metal and bottles being moved around. “What have you got in there?” said Maurice. “Everything?” “The grapnel and rope ladder take up a lot of the room,” said Malicia, still feeling around. “And then there’s the big medicine kit, and the small medicine kit, and the knife, and the other knife, and the sewing kit, and the mirror for sending signals, and . . . these.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents
“You will have worked out that there is a race in this world that steals and kills and spreads disease and despoils what it cannot use, said the voice of Spider.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents
“Please, young sir! Have mercy! If not for me, please think of my dear wife and my four lovely children who'll be without their daddy!"
"You're not married," said Malicia. "You don't have any children!"
"I might want some one day!”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents
“Here’s the scene: The three of us are by the Olympic-sized pool. The Latina with the thick waist is hovering in the shade of the veranda up by the house, her eyes on Frank in case he might want something, but so far he doesn’t and he hasn’t offered anything to me. If he did, I would ask for sunblock because standing here next to his pool is like standing on the sun side of Mercury. Gotta be ninety-six and climbing. Behind us is a pool house larger than my home, and through the sliding glass doors I can see a pool table, wet bar, and paintings of vaqueros in the Mexican highlands. It is air-conditioned in there, but apparently Frank would rather sit out here in the nuclear heat. Statues of lions dot the landscape, as motionless as Joe Pike, who has not moved once in the three minutes that I have been there. Pike is wearing a gray sweatshirt with the sleeves cut off, faded Levi’s, and flat black pilot’s glasses, which is the way he dresses every day of his life. His dark brown hair is cut short, and bright red arrows were tattooed on the outside of his deltoids long before tattoos were au courant. Watching Joe stand there, he reminds me of the world’s largest two-legged pit bull.”
― Robert Crais, quote from L.A. Requiem
“Let no one hope to find in contemplation an escape from conflict, from anguish or from doubt. On the contrary, the deep, inexpressible certitude of the contemplative experience awakens a tragic anguish and opens many questions in the depths of the heart like wounds that cannot stop bleeding. For every gain in deep certitude there is a corresponding growth of superficial "doubt." This doubt is by no means opposed to genuine faith, but it mercilessly examines and questions the spurious "faith" of everyday life, the human faith which is nothing but the passive acceptance of conventional opinion. This false "faith" which is what we often live by and which we even come to confuse with our "religion" is subjected to inexorable questioning… Hence, is it clear that genuine contemplation is incompatible with complacency and with smug acceptance of prejudiced opinions. It is not mere passive acquiescence in the status quo, as some would like to believe – for this would reduce it to the level of spiritual anesthesia.”
― Thomas Merton, quote from New Seeds of Contemplation
“يذهب هيجل إلى أن الرغبة في نيل الاعتراف هي التي كانت تدفع أي متصارعين بدائيين في قديم الزمان الى المخاطرة بحياتهما بالدخول في عراك حتى الموت، حيث إن كلاَ منهما يسعى إلى نيل اعتراف الآخر بأدميته. فإن حدث وأدى الخوف الطبيعي من الموت بأحد المتصارعين الى الخضوع والإذعان، نشأت علاقة السيد بالعبد.”
― Francis Fukuyama, quote from The End of History and the Last Man
“Television, I'm afraid, has isolated us more than race, class, or ethnicity.”
― Paul Fleischman, quote from Seedfolks
“When I tell you you’ll fart and pee in your pants with terror.”
― Shi Nai'an, quote from Outlaws of the Marsh
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