Quotes from Bad Monkeys

Matt Ruff ·  240 pages

Rating: (7.8K votes)


“Loosely translated Der schlechte Affe hasst seinen eigenen Geruch means that people are most deeply offended by moral failings that mirror their own.”
― Matt Ruff, quote from Bad Monkeys


“Hi," I said. "I'm the last of the Brontë sisters.”
― Matt Ruff, quote from Bad Monkeys


“Well, it all started when I figured out that the janitor at my high school was the Angel of Death…”
― Matt Ruff, quote from Bad Monkeys


“Are you the government?"
He seemed surprised by the question. "Does the government fight evil?"
I thought about it. For some reason, the first thing that came to mind wasn't the FBI or the justice system, but my last trip to the DMV. "Well," I said, "it can."
"Lots of things can fight evil," True replied. "Cinderblocks, for example--if a Cinderblock had fallen in Josef Stalin's crib, the twentieth century might have been a bit more pleasant.(...)”
― Matt Ruff, quote from Bad Monkeys


“...people are most deeply offended by moral failings that mirror their own.”
― Matt Ruff, quote from Bad Monkeys



“Tja, angefangen hat das alles, als ich eines Tages darauf gekommen bin, dass der Hausmeister meiner Highschool der Würgengel war …”
― Matt Ruff, quote from Bad Monkeys


About the author

Matt Ruff
Born place: in Queens, New York, The United States
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Popular quotes

“YARMOUTH is not a happy place for a picnic. A picnic should be held among green things. Green turf is absolutely an essential. There should be trees, broken ground, small paths, thickets, and hidden recesses. There should, if possible, be rocks, old timber, moss, and brambles. There should certainly be hills and dales, – on a small scale; and above all, there should be running water. There should be no expanse. Jones should not be able to see all Greene’s movements, nor should Augusta always have her eye upon her sister Jane. But the spot chosen for Mr Cheesacre’s picnic at Yarmouth had none of the virtues above described. It was on the seashore. Nothing was visible from the site but sand and sea. There were no trees there and nothing green: – neither was there any running water. But there was a long, dry, flat strand; there was an old boat half turned over, under which it was proposed to dine; and in addition to this, benches, boards, and some amount of canvas for shelter were provided by the liberality of Mr Cheesacre. Therefore it was called Mr Cheesacre’s picnic.”
― Anthony Trollope, quote from Can You Forgive Her?


“So that's troublin' you? I reckon it needn't. You see it was this way. I come round the house an' seen that fat party an' heard him talkin' loud. Then he seen me, an' very impolite goes straight for his gun. He oughtn't have tried to throw a gun on me - whatever his reason was. For that's meetin' me on my own grounds. I've seen runnin' molasses that was quicker'n him. Now I didn't know who he was, visitor or friend or relation of yours, though I seen he was a Mormon all over, an' I couldn't get serious about shootin'. So I winged him - put a bullet through his arm as he was pullin' at his gun. An' he droppped the gun there, an' a little blood. I told him he'd introduced himself sufficient, an' to please move out of my vicinity. An' went" - Lassiter”
― Zane Grey, quote from Riders of the Purple Sage


“Of course I'm not going to look through the keyhole. That's something only servants do. I'm going to hide in the bay window.”
― Penelope Farmer, quote from Charlotte Sometimes


“How disorienting and isolating immortality must be, and how strong he must be to weather it.”
― Michael Talbot, quote from The Delicate Dependency: A Novel of the Vampire Life


“She is never alone when she has Her Books. Books, to her, are Friends. Give her Shakespeare or Jane Austen, Meredith or Hardy, and she is Lost - lost in a world of her own. She sleeps so little that most of her nights are spent reading.”
― E.M. Delafield, quote from Diary of a Provincial Lady


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