Quotes from Bad Monkeys

Matt Ruff ·  240 pages

Rating: (7.8K votes)


“Loosely translated Der schlechte Affe hasst seinen eigenen Geruch means that people are most deeply offended by moral failings that mirror their own.”
― Matt Ruff, quote from Bad Monkeys


“Hi," I said. "I'm the last of the Brontë sisters.”
― Matt Ruff, quote from Bad Monkeys


“Well, it all started when I figured out that the janitor at my high school was the Angel of Death…”
― Matt Ruff, quote from Bad Monkeys


“Are you the government?"
He seemed surprised by the question. "Does the government fight evil?"
I thought about it. For some reason, the first thing that came to mind wasn't the FBI or the justice system, but my last trip to the DMV. "Well," I said, "it can."
"Lots of things can fight evil," True replied. "Cinderblocks, for example--if a Cinderblock had fallen in Josef Stalin's crib, the twentieth century might have been a bit more pleasant.(...)”
― Matt Ruff, quote from Bad Monkeys


“...people are most deeply offended by moral failings that mirror their own.”
― Matt Ruff, quote from Bad Monkeys



“Tja, angefangen hat das alles, als ich eines Tages darauf gekommen bin, dass der Hausmeister meiner Highschool der Würgengel war …”
― Matt Ruff, quote from Bad Monkeys


About the author

Matt Ruff
Born place: in Queens, New York, The United States
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“Lieutenant Edward S. Godfrey, who was present at the meeting and who later became the authority on the battle of the Little Bighorn, recorded the aftermath. “This ‘talk’ of his [Custer’s] was considered at the time as something extraordinary for General Custer, for it was not his habit to unbosom himself to his officers. In it he showed concessions and a reliance on others; there was an indefinable something that was not Custer. His manner and tone, usually brusque and aggressive, or somewhat curt, was on this occasion conciliating and subdued. There was something akin to an appeal, as if depressed, that made a deep impression on all present. … Lieutenant Wallace and myself walked to our bivouac, for some distance in silence, when Wallace remarked: ‘Godfrey, I believe General Custer is going to be killed.’ ‘Why?’ I replied, ‘what makes you think so?’ ‘Because,’ said he, ‘I have never heard Custer talk in that way before.”
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