I Heart You, You Haunt Me

Come with me,' Mom says. To the library. Books and summertime go together.

When you meet someone so different from yourself, in a good way, you don't even have to kiss to have fireworks go off. It's like fireworks in your heart all the time. I always wondered, do opposites really attract? Now I know for sure they do. I'd grown up going to the library as often as most people go to the grocery store. Jackson didn't need to read about exciting people or places. He went out and found them, or created excitement himself if there wasn't any to be found. The things I like are pretty simple. Burning CDs around themes, like Songs to Get You Groove On and Tunes to Fix a Broken Heart; watching movies; baking cookies; and swimming. It's like I was a salad with a light vinaigrette, and Jackson was a platter of seafood Cajun pasta. Alone, we were good. Together, we were fantastic.

Joy, not sorrow. Laughter, not tears. Life, not death. Love, not blame.

Guilt reminds me of a stray cat. You chase it away and yet, it comes back when you least expect it. If you let yourself feel pity for it and feed the thing, it parks its ugly, puny, lonely-for-attention butt on your doormat and won't go away. Scat kitty cat, scat. I don't need you sitting around here like that.

Memories might keep him alive but they might kill me.

When you meet someone so different from yourself, in a good way, you don't even have to kiss to have fireworks go off. Its like fireworks in your heart all the time.

If tears could bring him back, there'd be enough to bring him back a hundred times.

In that moment i realize a circle of love is ten times better than a procession of sorrys.

Is being a jerk one of the five stages of grief?

Okay. I will go. But only if you will give me your guilt to take with me.

I've realized therapy is incredibly therapeutic.

Was it hard?” I ask. “Letting go?” “Not as hard as holding on to something that wasn’t real.” I gulp. “Can I ask how you did it?” “I just decided, Ava. That’s all. I just decided.

Dare: a challenge to do something dangerous or foolhardy. I dare you. Three stupid words.

When you meet someone so different from yourself, In a good way, you don't even have to kiss to have fireworks go off. It's like fireworks in your heart all the time

When you meet someone so different from yourself, in a good way, you don’t even have to kiss to have fireworks go off.

The stars are duller than an old pocket knife, they used to sparkle like five-carat diamonds.

And then it hits me like a fast, open-palmed, stinging smack in the face. Having a ghost boyfriend WAS weird

That’s my girl. Live a good life, Ava.

Its like i was a garden salad with a light vinaigrette and Jackson was a platter of seafood Cajun pasta. Alone we were good. Together we were fantastic.

I swear he is there, his arms outstretched, the waterfall beneath him, cascading into the cool blue water below. Go on, Ava. It’s going to be great! It’s not a dare. Not this time. But it’s almost like I’m on that high dive again, scared of what comes next, yet knowing at the same time it will all be okay.

But repaying a debt means giving up things. Making sacrifices. If I sacrifice my heart for Jackson, will I be dead too?

When you meet someone so different from yourself, in a GOOD way, you don't even have to kiss to have fireworks go off. It's like fireworks in your heart all the time.