All the Young Dudes

You were my little bit of magic.

He had never known two people could be simultaneously so angry with each other and so much in love.   And it was love. Without a doubt.

Didn’t I tell you, Moony? Didn’t I tell you?!” He whispered, feverishly. “You did,” Remus smiled, weakly. He lowered his voice, so that no one else could hear him, and looked at Sirius carefully, “Was it scary? Was I scary?” He had no idea what he looked like in wolf form. Sirius’s expression did not flicker. “No.” He said, firmly. “You were beautiful.

Tell me a secret, a nice one.

I've loved keeping your secret, Remus wanted to say, I'd keep a thousand more, for you.

after all that waiting they hadn't had very long at all in the end

I am mental about you

I loved him," Remus said. "but he wasn't you

In early 1998 the letters stopped, and Grant knew. Sometimes he thought he'd felt it, deep inside, like a thread being cut. Remus was dead

Sorry isn't good enough. Your guilt isn't good enough. I need you to feel it too. I trusted you. I trusted you with every last secret, I offered you every piece of me. What else have I got now? I could kill you. I could bash your teeth in so you choke on them, I could wrap my hands around your throat and squeeze, I could rip you to pieces, I could, I could, I could kiss you, you fucking bastard.

It was James who had an ego the size of a lake but a heart to match it.

Tell me a secret? A nice one?” Remus paused. He kissed Sirius’s hair. “I’m mental about you, too.

As he unlocked his front door, he could hear the phone ringing. It took him a few moments to get in - the wooden frame had swollen with all the rainfall, and the door got gummed up sometimes - but when he got in, it was still ringing. Must be urgent , he thought, absent-mindedly. He shouted, “Padfoot? You in?” as he crossed the the room, then lifted the receiver, “Hello?” “Hello? Hello, Remus, is that you?” “Mary? Hi! I just got back - where the hell is everybody?!” There was a strange silence on the end of the phone, and a horrible static prickle ran down his spine. “Mary?!” “You haven’t heard…” “Jesus Christ, Mary, what?!” “Remus… something awful has happened.” She started explaining, and Remus fell to his knees as the whole world began to fall apart.

One emotional crisis at a time

Love. It’s the only thing you get to take with you, you know

[T]he problem was, some limits weren’t fences. Sometimes they were edges; with nothing on the other side.

He wished they would invite him, just once. He wished he wasn't always the one left out, he wished he knew how it felt to have a friend as close as James. More than ever, he wanted someone to talk to. Suddenly overwhelmed, Remus quickly casted his own spell, so the others wouldn't hear him crying.

James had a clearer understanding of love than anyone, and if he said he was going to marry [Lily] one day then he probably would.

I hate people," Remus would reply acidly, "People voted for Thatcher and keep buying Morrissey's records. People are idiots.

I trusted you. I trusted you with every last secret, I offered you every piece of me. What else have I got, now?

We’re all dying,” Sirius replied. “Maybe.” Remus agreed, lacing their fingers together, “But shouldn’t life last longer, if it can be like this?

He walked away, and Grant watched him, and for a moment he let himself pretend. Oh my darling. He thought, I don't half bloody miss you

I loved you, and you left me with nothing , do you understand? I had nothing except a lot of scars and a drinking habit. So don’t start interrogating me about the bits of my life I’ve been able to put back together.

By the time that wretched summer term ended, the only person Remus despised more than Sirius was himself, for continuing to love him just the same.

You'll break my heart if you go now." Remus said, aware he sounded sulky and petulant. Grant shook his head lightly, holding his ground. "I'm sorry, love. But it's breaking my heart to stay.

Sirius had been in free fall since Christmas, it had just been a matter of who he would crush when he finally landed.

Remus lived in fear that if he wrote it down, or said it outloud, then everyone would find out his secret. And it was better to keep stuff like that in your head.