“Babe, I've handpicked everythin' and everyone in here. I know what I want and I get what I want," he breathed. "And I keep what's mine.”
― Mariana Zapata, quote from Under Locke
“In the words of a rap song my neighbor used to play on his boombox when I was a kid: Hold up, wait a minute.”
― Mariana Zapata, quote from Under Locke
“You’ve gotta be the best thing I never knew I wanted.”
― Mariana Zapata, quote from Under Locke
“Knew the moment I saw you, standin’ outside the shop, scared, that you were an innocent little thing. So sweet. So good.” He lowered his head to take my chin between his teeth. “You got no idea what it’s like for you to give me your trust, Ritz. If I was a good man I’d tell you to find somebody better, somebody that won’t lose their shit over an asshole eye fuckin’ you.” His tongue traced the oval shape of my chin. “But I’m not a good man, and I’m gonna take everythin’ you want to give me and everythin’ you don’t.”
― Mariana Zapata, quote from Under Locke
“Right then, in that moment, Dex The Dick grinned. Grinned. And sweet mother of God, it was devastating. So completely catastrophic I just stood there and absorbed the nuclear bomb going off in front of me, defenseless.”
― Mariana Zapata, quote from Under Locke
“I’d never been a big fan of that saying, “Everything happens for a reason,” but maybe, sometimes, every once in a while, things coalesced into a complex, intangible reason. With tattoos and piercings and bad words and unfailing loyalty topped with a temper. And in its own imperfect way, it couldn’t have been any better.”
― Mariana Zapata, quote from Under Locke
“He was aloe vera, rough and prickly on the outside, but the inside held all the gooey goodness.”
― Mariana Zapata, quote from Under Locke
“There it was. That fierce loyalty. He didn't have a clue how that was the most attractive thing about him. It trumped his face, his ink, his body, everything. Dex Locke was true. He was grounded.”
― Mariana Zapata, quote from Under Locke
“Baby, just ‘cuz you’re cute doesn’t mean I wasn’t bein’ serious about spankin’ your tight little ass for doin’ dumb shit, Ritz. You do it again, and you’re gonna get it.”
― Mariana Zapata, quote from Under Locke
“You couldn’t control or anticipate a person who didn’t care. They were wildcards.”
― Mariana Zapata, quote from Under Locke
“Dex The Dick. Dex The Kind Grump was shoving his tongue down my throat. My boss. Dex. Charlie. The guy who signed my paychecks.”
― Mariana Zapata, quote from Under Locke
“Back when I’d been sick, I’d always dreaded hearing other words. Spread. Lymph nodes. Amputation. Those words, those possibilities, make you grow up quick. They made me remember to prioritize correctly, to value and appreciate. But mainly the branches of those words scared me so much, I wanted to live even if it wasn’t always going to be fun and games.”
― Mariana Zapata, quote from Under Locke
“The snot-faced asshole that I only kind-of, sort-of hoped came down with an infectious illness in his private parts. But you know, something he could get medicine for. I tried”
― Mariana Zapata, quote from Under Locke
“And love without respect and appreciation isn’t actually anything. It’s worthless. I”
― Mariana Zapata, quote from Under Locke
“Being judged and found lacking by the people who were supposed to love you never left anyone feeling all right.”
― Mariana Zapata, quote from Under Locke
“From what I’d seen in such a short amount of time, the tattoos weren’t just random crap people would regret when they were elderly. The pieces clients got seemed to be so much more than that. They were memorials and declarations. They were outpourings of love and pain. Letters and images, icons and symbolism, personal and eternal. It”
― Mariana Zapata, quote from Under Locke
“You can’t break apart love’s properties and make it something it’s not. I knew that now. A”
― Mariana Zapata, quote from Under Locke
“Unfortunately, you don't get to choose family, Sonny had told me once. But you do get to choose everyone else. In this case, I was cherry picking who I was going to spend the gift of my life with.”
― Mariana Zapata, quote from Under Locke
“But I'm not a good man, and I'm gonna take everythin' you want to give me and everythin' you don't.”
― Mariana Zapata, quote from Under Locke
“The urge to fall to the ground, rip my heart out of my chest and hold it out like a sacred offering was overwhelming. /Take it! Take it all!/ I’d cry.”
― Mariana Zapata, quote from Under Locke
“You've gotta be the best thing I never knew I wanted”
― Mariana Zapata, quote from Under Locke
“It wasn't a good-looking scar. The flesh looked gnarled and silver-white against my healthy skin. After four different surgeries, I'd stopped caring what it looked like. Seeing it in the mirror didn't bother me anymore but I hated the looks I'd get from people.
Like I was broken.
Like there was something wrong with me.
I lost the name my mom had so carefully chosen and became a medical term.”
― Mariana Zapata, quote from Under Locke
“My rib cage clenched all of the organs and muscles within it. It pulsed, full of life and warmth and gummy bears and glitter. This was... I don't know how to explain it—it was like Christmas morning when you were a kid. It was everything I’d wanted.
Each of his thumbs curved over the shells of my ears. "That's my girl."
His girl.
After all the crap that I'd gone through today, there couldn't have been three better words to hear.
Well, there were three other words I'd like to hear but I'd take these from him. That didn't mean that he was the only one who knew how to give. He'd given enough. My bones and heart knew that there was nothing for me to fear. I loved him and sometimes there were consequences of it that were scary, but it—the emotion itself—wasn't. I knew that now.
What kind of life was I living if I let my fears steer me? This was a gift I’d forgotten to appreciate lately. For so long I’d been happy to just be alive but now...now I had Dex. I had my entire life ahead of me, and I needed to quit being a wuss and grab life by the balls. In this case, I’d take his nipple piercings.
“What’cha thinkin’, Ritz?”
I held my hands out for him to see how badly they were shaking. “I’m thinking that I love you so much it scares me. See?”
Dex's thumbs tipped my chin back so that I could look at his face—at his beautiful, scruffy face. "Baby." He said my name like a purr that reached the vertebrae of my spine.
"And even though it really scares the living crap out of me, I love you, and I want you to know that. Everything you've done for me..." Oh hell. I had to let out a long gust of breath. "Thank you. You're the best thing that ever yelled at me."
He murmured my name again, low and smooth. The pads of his thumbs dug a little deeper into the soft tissue on the underside of my jaw. "If all the shit I do for you, and all the shit I'd be willin' to do for you doesn't tell you how deep you've snuck into me, honey, then I'll tell you."
He lowered his mouth right next to my ear, his teeth nipping at my lobe before he whispered, "Love you."
The feeling that swamped me was indescribable.
He gave me hope. This big, ex-felon with a temper, reminded me of how strong I was, and then made me stronger on top of it.
"Dex," I exhaled his name.
He nipped my ear again. "I love you, Ritz." The scruff of his jaw scraped my own before he bit it gently. "Love your fuckin' face, your that's what she said jokes, your dorky ass high-fives and your arm, but I really fuckin' love how much of a little shit you are. You got nuts bigger than your brother, baby."
I choked out a laugh.
Dex tipped my head back even further, holding the weight on his long fingers as he bit the curve of my chin. "And those are gonna be my nuts, you little bad ass."
Fire shot straight through my chest. "Yeah?" I panted.
"Yeah." He nodded, biting my chin even harder. "I already told you I keep what's mine.”
― Mariana Zapata, quote from Under Locke
“He cocked his neck from one side to the other as if trying to stretch the muscles. A long huff escaped from his mouth. "I've always told myself that when I have kids, I'm gonna to spoil the shit out of 'em."
I couldn't help but smile, though I kept my gaze forward. Dex as a dad? A bad-mouthed dad?
Dex smiled right then, morphing something inside of me that I couldn't completely recognize. The moment and intent was too heavy for me to bear. I didn't want to think of what all this honesty was doing to my insides. "You know what?"
He grunted.
"Your kids will probably come out of the womb saying the f-bomb."
"Fuck," he laughed loudly, confirming my guess. "You're probably right, babe."
I tilted my face to look at him, meeting those blue eyes that I knew even without the light, were the brightest blue I'd ever seen. "Little f-bomb dropping hell raisers. I can totally see it.”
― Mariana Zapata, quote from Under Locke
“He and Blake had been busy, and I’d been busy talking to customers about random stuff while they waited. I was surprised by how nice everyone had been—with the exception of Dex's dumb face.
There hadn't been a single biker in the shop either. Weird.
All of this assured me that I’d avoided having to interact much with my boss. The owner. The bleeding mouth sore.
The snot-faced ass**le that I only kind-of, sort-of hoped came down with an infectious illness in his private parts. But you know, something he could get medicine for.
I tried my best to keep from replaying the scenario in the office but it was impossible. It wasn't his tone but the words that had seared me.
And each time, it made me want to cry. It didn’t get any easier or any less painful. How the hell could someone be so rude? I didn't understand and I couldn't get over it.
Every cycle had me coming up with different things to call him. A dick. A slimy bastard. A slimy, small-dicked bastard. Right? Maybe he wouldn't be so mad at the world if his pubic hair wasn’t longer than his full-blown erection. God, I felt awkward thinking about what he had under his clothes but it was the best insult I could come up with.”
― Mariana Zapata, quote from Under Locke
“Sonny's lips twisted in a way I'd only seen once before. Barely restrained anger hid beneath the thick layer of his red-brown beard. "That f**king dumbass," he ground out. He cocked his head to one side, and then the other. A deep breath blew out from between his lips. "I'm gonna knock his teeth in."
He was being completely serious. So, so serious about defending my honor, I couldn't help it.
I started laughing.
"It's fine." I snorted. "Son, it's really fine. Knock his teeth in another day." I laughed again. "Or maybe once I find another job, okay? Then you can bust all his teeth and his kneecaps for all I care."
Those hazel eyes that were an exact replica of mine, narrowed. And then he quirked a little smile. "His kneecaps too?"
I shrugged. "Why not? Call him a friggin' idiot while you do it."
Sonny shook his head, full out grinning by that point. "To think I used to call you a good girl. My little sis telling me to break someone's kneecaps. You might make me cry, Ris." He leaned forward across the armchair I was sitting in and ruffled my hair. "Thatta girl."
I snorted and batted his hand away.”
― Mariana Zapata, quote from Under Locke
“I lost the name my mom had so carefully chosen and became a medical term.”
― Mariana Zapata, quote from Under Locke
“But I’m not a good man, and I’m gonna take everythin’ you want to give me and everythin’ you don’t.”
― Mariana Zapata, quote from Under Locke
“I hadn't told him the news yet, but in that same preternatural way he was always aware of what I was feeling or thinking, he could smell my lies a mile away. He was just giving me time to come to him.
To tell him I'd be baking his bun for the next seven and a half months.
''I'm okay."
Dex's chuckle filled my ears as he wrapped his arms around my chest from behind, his chin resting on the top of my head. "Just okay?"
He was taunting me, I knew it.
This man never did anything without a reason. And this reason had him resembling a mama bear. A really aggressive, possessive mama bear. Which said something because Dex was normally that way. I couldn't even sit around Mayhem without him or Sonny within ten feet.
I leaned my head back against his chest and laughed. "Yeah, just okay."
He made a humming noise deep in his throat. "Ritz," he drawled in that low voice that reached the darkest parts of my organs. "You're killin' me, honey."
Oh boy.
Did I want to officially break the news on the side of the road with chunks of puke possibly still on my face? Nah. So I went with the truth. "I have it all planned out in my head. I already ordered the cutest little toy motorcycle to tell you, so don't ruin it."
A loud laugh burst out of his chest, so strong it rocked my body alongside his. I friggin' loved this guy. Every single time he laughed, I swear it multiplied. At this rate, I loved him more than my own life cubed, and then cubed again.
"All right," he murmured between these low chuckles once he'd calmed down a bit. His fingers trailed over the skin of the back of my hand until he stopped at my ring finger and squeezed the slender bone. "I can be patient."
That earned him a laugh from me. Patience? Dex? Even after more than three years, that would still never be a term I'd use to describe him. And it probably never would. He'd started to lose his shit during our layover when Trip had called for instructions on how to set the alarm at the new bar.
"Dex, Ris, and Baby Locke, you done?" Sonny yelled, peeping out from over the top of the car door.
"Are you friggin' kidding me?" I yelled back. Did everyone know?
That slow, seductive smile crawled over his features. Brilliant and more affectionate than it was possible for me to handle, it sucked the breath out of me. When he palmed my cheeks and kissed each of my cheeks and nose and forehead, slowly like he was savoring the pecks and the contact, I ate it all up. Like always, and just like I always would.
And he answered the way I knew he would every single time I asked him from them on, the way that told me he would never let me down. That he was an immovable object. That he'd always be there for me to battle the demons we could see and the invisible ones we couldn't.
"Fuckin' love you, Iris," he breathed against my ear, an arm slinking around my lower back to press us together. "More than anything.”
― Mariana Zapata, quote from Under Locke
Mariana Zapata
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“shrink." (D&C 19:18.) It was about there that I wrote these words: "Teach the people repentance hurts." You must never believe the lie that there is no pain from sin. You can be forgiven; the Atonement is real. But President Kimball taught that "if a person hasn't suffered, he hasn't repented." (The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, ed. Edward L. Kimball [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1982], p. 99.) So true faith in the atonement of Jesus Christ, rather than leading you to try a little sin, will lead you to stay as far away from it as you can. That brings”
― Henry B. Eyring, quote from To Draw Closer To God: A Collection Of Discourses
“Lady Constance's lips tightened, and a moment passed during which it seemed always a fifty-fifty chance that a handsome silver ink-pot would fly through the air in the direction of her brother's head.”
― P.G. Wodehouse, quote from Summer Lightning
“At the end, you find the beginning.”
― Jen Calonita, quote from Paparazzi Princess
“That's how this world works. To get a lot, you have to at least give a little. You have to make a concentrated effort to let it be known that you'll do whatever it takes to get ahead."
Pause.
My father takes a drink from his beer while I stare at him.
Smirking, continuing, he says, "Once you accept this fact of life, you'll be able to do whatever you want to do and have anything you want to have.”
― quote from Exit Here.
“He had undoubtedly not availed himself of the ministry archives, archives that might have revealed to him that Iranian diplomats in Paris, from this, his own Foreign Ministry, had taken it upon themselves to issue Iranian passports to Jews escaping the very Holocaust they were aware of, but that he now denied.”
― Hooman Majd, quote from The Ayatollah Begs to Differ: The Paradox of Modern Iran
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