“Kugelmass, unaware of this catastrophe, had his own problems. He had not been thrust into Portnoy's Complaint, or into any other novel, for that matter. He had been projected into an old textbook, Remedial Spanish, and was running for his life over a barren, rocky terrain as the word tener ("to have") - a large and hairy irregular verb - raced after him on its spindly legs.”
― Woody Allen, quote from Side Effects
“It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones
slept better, [Cloquet thought,] while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking
hours much more.”
― Woody Allen, quote from Side Effects
“I was in bed at my beach house, but could not sleep because of some fried chicken in the icebox that I felt entitled to. I waited till my wife dropped off, and tiptoed into the kitchen. I remembered looking at the clock. It was precisely four-fifteen. I'm quite certain of this, because our kitchen clock has not worked in twenty-one years and is always at that time. I also noticed that our dog, Judas, was acting funny. He was sanding up on his hind legs and singing, 'I Enjoy Being a Girl.' Suddenly the room turned bright orange. At first, I thought my wife had caught me eating between meals and set fire to the house. Then I looked out the window, where to my amazement I saw a gigantic cigar-shaped aircraft hovering just over the treetops in the yard and emitting an orange glow. I stood transfixed for what must have been several hours, though our clock still read four-fifteen, so it was difficult to tell. Finally, a large, mechanical claw extended from the aircraft and snatched the two pieces of chicken from my hand and quickly retreated. When I reported the incident to the Air Force, they told me that what I had seen was a flock of birds. When I protested, Colonel Quincy Bascomb personally promised that the Air Force would return the two pieces of chicken. To this day, I have only received one piece.”
― Woody Allen, quote from Side Effects
“What advice would I give the average homeowner to protect himself against burglars? Well, the first thing is to keep a light on in the house when you go out. It must be at least a sixty-watt bulb; anything less and the burglar will ransack the house, out of contempt for the wattage.”
― Woody Allen, quote from Side Effects
“Ads answered out of desperation in the New York Review of Books proved equally futile as…the 'Bay Area Bisexual' told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.”
― Woody Allen, quote from Side Effects
“He’s dreaming, Cloquet thought, as he stood over him, revolver in hand. He’s dreaming, and I exist in reality. Cloquet hated reality but realized it was still the only place to get a good steak.”
― Woody Allen, quote from Side Effects
“True, science has conquered many diseases, broken the genetic code, and even placed human beings on the moon, and yet when a man of eighty is left in a room with two eighteen-year-old cocktail waitresses nothing happens.”
― Woody Allen, quote from Side Effects
“It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better [...] while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.”
― Woody Allen, quote from Side Effects
“In order to be a writer, "Maugham continues: "one must take chances and not be afraid to look foolish. I wrote The Razor's Edge while wearing a paper hat….”
― Woody Allen, quote from Side Effects
“UFOs are back in the news, and it is high time we took a serious look at the phenomenon. (Actually the time is ten past eight, so not only are we a few minutes late but I'm hungry).”
― Woody Allen, quote from Side Effects
“Լավ մարդիկ հանգիստ են քնում։ Փոխարենը վատ մարդիկ ավելի մեծ հաճույքով են առավոտյան արթնանում։”
― Woody Allen, quote from Side Effects
Woody Allen
Born place: in The Bronx, New York , The United States
Born date December 1, 1935
See more on GoodReads
“It's not right to shoot someone because they're not intelligent.”
― Jeanne Birdsall, quote from The Penderwicks: A Summer Tale of Four Sisters, Two Rabbits, and a Very Interesting Boy
“It actually dawned on me that I don’t fight. I just kill whatever annoys me, and it’s over. (Savitar)”
― Sherrilyn Kenyon, quote from Dark Side of the Moon
“The irony of life is to realize that you live only to die.”
― Nely Cab, quote from Creatura
“Look at that. There one family lives, kitchen is in China, bedroom is in Myanmar. In this way, this family eats in one country, sleeps in other. I think this house been standing there for many centuries, yes, long time, before anyone decided where one country stops, the other starts”
― Amy Tan, quote from Saving Fish from Drowning
“I walk up and down the rows. The heads look like rubber halloween masks. They also look like human heads, but my brain has no precedent for human heads on tables or in roasting pans or anywhere other than on top of a human bodies, and so I think it has chosen to interpret the sight in a more comforting manner. - Here we are at the rubber mask factory. Look at the nice men and woman working on the masks.”
― Mary Roach, quote from Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers
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BookQuoters is a community of passionate readers who enjoy sharing the most meaningful, memorable and interesting quotes from great books. As the world communicates more and more via texts, memes and sound bytes, short but profound quotes from books have become more relevant and important. For some of us a quote becomes a mantra, a goal or a philosophy by which we live. For all of us, quotes are a great way to remember a book and to carry with us the author’s best ideas.
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