“Kugelmass, unaware of this catastrophe, had his own problems. He had not been thrust into Portnoy's Complaint, or into any other novel, for that matter. He had been projected into an old textbook, Remedial Spanish, and was running for his life over a barren, rocky terrain as the word tener ("to have") - a large and hairy irregular verb - raced after him on its spindly legs.”
― Woody Allen, quote from Side Effects
“It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones
slept better, [Cloquet thought,] while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking
hours much more.”
― Woody Allen, quote from Side Effects
“I was in bed at my beach house, but could not sleep because of some fried chicken in the icebox that I felt entitled to. I waited till my wife dropped off, and tiptoed into the kitchen. I remembered looking at the clock. It was precisely four-fifteen. I'm quite certain of this, because our kitchen clock has not worked in twenty-one years and is always at that time. I also noticed that our dog, Judas, was acting funny. He was sanding up on his hind legs and singing, 'I Enjoy Being a Girl.' Suddenly the room turned bright orange. At first, I thought my wife had caught me eating between meals and set fire to the house. Then I looked out the window, where to my amazement I saw a gigantic cigar-shaped aircraft hovering just over the treetops in the yard and emitting an orange glow. I stood transfixed for what must have been several hours, though our clock still read four-fifteen, so it was difficult to tell. Finally, a large, mechanical claw extended from the aircraft and snatched the two pieces of chicken from my hand and quickly retreated. When I reported the incident to the Air Force, they told me that what I had seen was a flock of birds. When I protested, Colonel Quincy Bascomb personally promised that the Air Force would return the two pieces of chicken. To this day, I have only received one piece.”
― Woody Allen, quote from Side Effects
“What advice would I give the average homeowner to protect himself against burglars? Well, the first thing is to keep a light on in the house when you go out. It must be at least a sixty-watt bulb; anything less and the burglar will ransack the house, out of contempt for the wattage.”
― Woody Allen, quote from Side Effects
“Ads answered out of desperation in the New York Review of Books proved equally futile as…the 'Bay Area Bisexual' told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.”
― Woody Allen, quote from Side Effects
“He’s dreaming, Cloquet thought, as he stood over him, revolver in hand. He’s dreaming, and I exist in reality. Cloquet hated reality but realized it was still the only place to get a good steak.”
― Woody Allen, quote from Side Effects
“True, science has conquered many diseases, broken the genetic code, and even placed human beings on the moon, and yet when a man of eighty is left in a room with two eighteen-year-old cocktail waitresses nothing happens.”
― Woody Allen, quote from Side Effects
“It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better [...] while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.”
― Woody Allen, quote from Side Effects
“In order to be a writer, "Maugham continues: "one must take chances and not be afraid to look foolish. I wrote The Razor's Edge while wearing a paper hat….”
― Woody Allen, quote from Side Effects
“UFOs are back in the news, and it is high time we took a serious look at the phenomenon. (Actually the time is ten past eight, so not only are we a few minutes late but I'm hungry).”
― Woody Allen, quote from Side Effects
“Լավ մարդիկ հանգիստ են քնում։ Փոխարենը վատ մարդիկ ավելի մեծ հաճույքով են առավոտյան արթնանում։”
― Woody Allen, quote from Side Effects
Woody Allen
Born place: in The Bronx, New York , The United States
Born date December 1, 1935
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“When we lose our tolerance for vulnerability, joy becomes foreboding.”
― Brené Brown, quote from The Power of Vulnerability: Teachings of Authenticity, Connections and Courage
“Looking down at my feet, he laughs a little, and then says, "Don't turn your toes outward like in ballet." I turn my toes straight forward. It feels awkward. Now make a fist and keep your hand close to your face." He shows me how. "You want your weight to be on the balls of your feet, not in your heels." "That's the only thing that comes naturally to me." I'm getting frustrated. This is hard work.”
― E.J. Squires, quote from Wraithsong
“6 Thus says the LORD, the King of Israel and i his Redeemer, the LORD of hosts: j “I am the first and I am the last; besides me there is no god.”
― quote from Study Bible-ESV
“The ability to choose well seems to depend in no small part upon our knowing our own minds. And when we ask for more choice, we seem to be saying, “I know what I want, so however much choice you give me, I will be able to pick out the thing that I want.” We firmly believe that no matter how many alternatives we’re given, ultimately we’ll know which door we prefer to walk through. Yet, paradoxically, asking for more choice is also an admission that we don’t always know what we want, or that we are changeable enough that we cannot know what we want until we are in the moment of choosing. And it’s clear that after a certain point, the amount of time and energy directed toward choosing counteracts the benefits of the choice.”
― Sheena Iyengar, quote from The Art of Choosing
“Fire
i
The morning you were made to leave
she sat on the front steps,
dress tucked between her thighs,
a packet of Marlboro Lights
near her bare feet, painting her nails
until the polish curdled.
Her mother phoned–
What do you mean he hit you?
Your father hit me all the time
but I never left him.
He pays the bills
and he comes home at night,
what more do you want?
Later that night she picked the polish off
with her front teeth until the bed you shared
for seven years seemed speckled with glitter
and blood.
ii
On the drive to the hotel, you remember
“the funeral you went to as a little boy,
double burial for a couple who
burned to death in their bedroom.
The wife had been visited
by her husband’s lover,
a young and beautiful woman who paraded
her naked body in the couple’s kitchen,
lifting her dress to expose breasts
mottled with small fleshy marks,
a back sucked and bruised, then dressed herself
and walked out of the front door.
The wife, waiting for her husband to come home,
doused herself in lighter fluid. On his arrival
she jumped on him, wrapping her legs around
his torso. The husband, surprised at her sudden urge,
carried his wife to the bedroom, where
she straddled him on their bed, held his face
against her chest and lit a match.
iii
A young man greets you in the elevator.
He smiles like he has pennies hidden in his cheeks.
You’re looking at his shoes when he says
the rooms in this hotel are sweltering.
Last night in bed I swear I thought
my body was on fire.”
― Warsan Shire, quote from Teaching My Mother How to Give Birth
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