Quotes from Comeback: A Mother and Daughter's Journey Through Hell and Back

“Caretaking is never about the other person. It's about wanting to feel needed because you're afraid you're not wanted.”
― quote from Comeback: A Mother and Daughter's Journey Through Hell and Back

“It is its own religion, this love. Uncontainable, savage, and without end, it is what I feel for my child.”
― quote from Comeback: A Mother and Daughter's Journey Through Hell and Back

“God doesn't create suffering Claire, we do. We make the world and then we break it.”
― quote from Comeback: A Mother and Daughter's Journey Through Hell and Back

“[Samantha Dunn] wrote that when God wants your attention, first He throws feathers. After that, He starts throwing bricks.”
― quote from Comeback: A Mother and Daughter's Journey Through Hell and Back

“Sometimes, we have to give birth to our children twice....Once your child becomes the "garbage" other parents are afraid of, you never look at any teen, or yourself, the same again. All you see is the child they once were.”
― quote from Comeback: A Mother and Daughter's Journey Through Hell and Back

“My relationship with God has evolved as well. I no longer rail or beg or sass back. I was standing on a bluff over the ocean the other day and suddenly laughed out loud as I realized what an illusion that was, what an impossibility. That would assume a relationship between a “me” and “Other,” a separation. There is no otherness; to be separate from God is to be separate from myself, from life itself. What I’ve been looking for, I’m looking with.”
― quote from Comeback: A Mother and Daughter's Journey Through Hell and Back

“Nor did I grasp the capacity of love's absence to destroy, that my lack of love for myself made my own life unbearable. You take someone whose life experiences have taught them they're worthless, string them out on drugs, and you have one miserable person. How could I have given what I didn't have? It's hard to value another life when you view your own as dispensable, hard to understand how you can have so great an effect on someone else when you don't think you matter.”
― quote from Comeback: A Mother and Daughter's Journey Through Hell and Back

“- Child is abused, perpetrator threatens to hurt mother. Child feels protective of mother.
- Struggle to escape perp reinforces feelings of mutual protection. It's Mom and I against the world.
- Something necessary at the time later creates "enmeshment." Child doesn't see her actions as separate from mother. Even during normal adolescent individuation. But--
- Normal individuation doesn't happen in abuse survivors. They don't feel normal, so they--
- Act out in unhealthy or self-destructive ways, which creates--
- Fear and pain for mother, which creates--
- Guilt for child who still feels responsible for mother's emotional health.
- Child seeks release from the guilt and from not feeling normal, which leads to--
- Escape to the world of other not normal people, where mother can't see her child self-destruct, which leads to--
"The bad news.”
― quote from Comeback: A Mother and Daughter's Journey Through Hell and Back

“Accountability is not about blame, it’s not about being wrong, it is about owning the choices you’ve made, or are making, that create the results you have in your life. And you do create everything in your life.”
― quote from Comeback: A Mother and Daughter's Journey Through Hell and Back

“What was the payoff? It obviously kept me in my cozy zone of being in control, being a good mother, with a good daughter. Most of all, I realize, is that it allowed me to maintain the lie that she was healed, that Nick hadn't permanently damaged her, that I'd truly saved her. Because if I did, if there was no lasting residue of him, it meant that the denial that kept me in the marriage long enough for him to hurt her didn't help create the situation she's in now.
The person who I worked hardest to keep safe seems to have been me.”
― quote from Comeback: A Mother and Daughter's Journey Through Hell and Back

Popular quotes

“В быстролётные годы расцвета женской красоты она отлично служит притворству, к которому вынуждает женщину её природная слабость и законы нашего общества. Чудесный, свежий цвет лица, блеск глаз, изящный рисунок тонких черт, богатство линий, резких или округлых, но чистых и совершенно законченных, — завеса для всех её сокровенных волнений; если она покраснеет, это не выдаст движения её души, а только оживит и без того яркие краски; огонь её глаз, горящих жизнью, в ту пору скрадывает все внутренние вспышки, и пламя страданий, вырываясь на миг, делает её ещё пленительнее. Итак, нет ничего более непроницаемого, чем молодое лицо, ибо нет ничего неподвижнее. Лицо молодой женщины безмятежно, гладко, ясно, как поверхность дремлющего озера. Своеобразие начинает появляться в женском лице лишь к тридцати годам. До этого возраста художнику не найти в нём ничего, кроме бело-розовых красок, улыбок и выражения, которое повторяет одну и ту же мысль, — мысль о радостях молодости и любви, мысль однообразную и неглубокую; но в старости, когда женщина всё уже испытала, следы страстей словно врезаются в лицо её; она была любовницей, супругой, матерью; самые сильные проявления счастья и горя в конце концов меняют облик человека, искажают черты, бороздя лицо неисчислимыми морщинами, наделяя каждую из них своим языком; и женщина становится тогда величественной в своём страдании, прекрасной в печали своей, великолепной в своей невозмутимости, и если нам позволено будет развить наше необычайное сравнение, то в высохшем озере станут тогда видны следы всех родников, питавших его; тогда лицо женщины уже не привлечёт внимания света, ибо в легкомыслии своём свет будет напуган тем, что разрушены его привычные понятия о красоте; не привлечёт оно и посредственного, ничего не смыслящего художника, зато вдохновит истинного поэта, того, кто наделён чувством прекрасного, кто свободен от всех условностей, на которых зиждется столько ложных понятий об искусстве и красоте.
Люди несчастные, привыкшие взывать к небу с мольбой об утешении в горестях жизни, сразу бы распознали по взгляду этой женщины, что и для неё молитва является единственным прибежищем в повседневных страданиях и что у неё ещё кровоточат те тайные раны, от которых гибнут все цветы души, вплоть до материнских чувств. У живописца есть краски для таких портретов, но никакими словами не передать их; сущность лица, его выражение — само по себе явление необъяснимое, и лишь зрение помогает нам уловить его; у писателя есть только один способ дать представление о страшных переменах, происшедших во внешности его героев: он должен рассказать о тех событиях, из-за которых они появились. Всё в этой женщине говорило о бесшумной ледяной грозе, о тайной борьбе между героизмом страдающей матери и убожеством наших чувств, недолговечных, как и мы сами, в которых нет ничего вечного.
Люди хорошо воспитанные, и особенно женщины, скрытны в проявлении своих чувств, и о волнении их сердца догадается лишь тот, кому довелось испытать в жизни всё, что испытывала исстрадавшаяся мать.”
― Honoré de Balzac, quote from A Woman Of Thirty

“Self-doubts are like weeds; if you don't deal with them right away, they multiply. And before you know it, your garden looks like a jungle in Vietnam.”
― Emma Chase, quote from Twisted

“It's just that every story of woe and tragedy throughout history starts out with those exact same three words. ‘There's this girl”
― Mia Sheridan, quote from Finding Eden

“Major, I do not know why God does the things He does, but I believe you have the same duty to God as you have always had: to follow the right path, to live your life with a clear conscience.”
― Jeff Shaara, quote from Gods and Generals

“The Bible tells a story. A story that isn’t over. A story that is still being told. A story that we have a part to play in.”
― Rob Bell, quote from Velvet Elvis: Repainting the Christian Faith

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