The Unfortunate Side Effects of Heartbreak and Magic

Sometimes I think if I let myself feel, really feel, I’ll never be able to climb my way back out. I can’t stuff it all back in.

I don’t think pain is a competition,” her aunt answered without hesitation. “Somebody else’s ten might be your six. You can’t compare heartbreak. No matter what, it’s valid. And that’s all that matters. You’re allowed to feel,

Death doesn’t stop you from loving. It makes the love more important.

Time ceases to exist for you in bookstores, and I am not sitting by for three hours while you get hot over books you have no intention of buying.

Hold on to hope no matter the cost, because as long as there’s hope, everything else is just the unfortunate side effects of heartbreak and magic.

Everything is fine. It’ll be fine, Sadie told herself again. Sadie hated that word fine. It was a Band-Aid, a sugar-coated pill to mask the bitterness beneath. Fine was what you used when it was anything but. But fine was what she had to be because if it wasn’t, everything would unravel.

You know who you are. Never let anyone or anything mold you into something different. Don’t let those idiots tell you what to do or how to live your life.

Sadie so often walked the line between who people expected her to be and who she really was, the lines blurred until sometimes she forgot who she actually wanted to be. But the townsfolk had expectations. And she liked to exceed those as often as possible.

Some people needed flowers and pretty words. Sadie needed truth and kept promises.

They say that in a relationship there’s always the lover and the loved. But I don’t think that’s right. I think it changes. Sometimes you’re the one who loves more, and other times you’re the one who needs to be loved. That’s what a relationship is. Bracing the other person when they need it. Love is knowing you have open arms to fall back into.

My dad says that the thing about the past is that when there’s pain, that’s all you remember. But when there’s joy, even if it’s a little bit, you forget all the shitty things that went along with it.

It was the satisfying crunch of a sharp knife cutting through ripe watermelon. It was green citronella spirals burning down and sunscreen squirting hot out of the tube. It was banana pancakes on repeat and the tang of river silt clinging to tanned skin. It was summer. And freedom. And youth. And heartbreak so hot it cauterized.

you’re going to need to ask yourself if you’re content with just being happy or if you want to be fulfilled.

Magic wasn't always spells and curses and charms. Sometimes it was the comfortable silence of a good meal and smiling eyes that met across the room and spoke more than words.

Sadie had learned the rules of Revelare magic while growing up at her grandmother’s feet, her grubby little toddler hands searching for earthworms as Gigi explained why mustard seed helped people talk about their feelings and how star anise could bond two people together. The sweet tang of tangerine rinds scented the air as her little fingernails were perpetually stained orange. And always, Gigi warned her how their creations would speak to them. If you were in love, things tended to turn out too sweet. If dinner was bland, you needed some adventure. And if you burned a dessert—well, something wicked this way comes. Sadie listened to those lessons among the bitter rutabagas and wild, climbing sweet peas, drinking in every word, and letting them take root in her heart. She grew up comfortable with the knowledge that she was strange, weaving the magic around her like ribbons on a maypole.

I spent a decade punishing myself. Living in that misery as my own form of penance. And it didn't do a damn bit of good. It took me another decade to start forgiving myself. To accept that the stupid indiscretions of youth, despite their consequences, didn't have to define me anymore. My misery served no purpose. It didn't make me feel better. It didn't bring me closer to you. And I knew that if I met you as I was, I'd be ashamed. So, I went on a quest to become someone you'd be proud to call your mother.

there’s a difference between being happy and being fulfilled. Happiness you feel in your skin. Fulfillment you feel in your bones.

When your heart is split in two, you can’t be true to either piece.

She was shocked how the threat death could make you miss someone before they were even gone.

Looking at him was like stretching your limbs after a long nap. The first heartbreak that had sparked her curse to life.

Sadie hated that word fine. It was a Band-Aid, a sugar-coated pill to mask the bitterness beneath. Fine was what you used when it was anything but. But fine was what she had to be because if it wasn’t, everything would unravel.

Even though they were all broken in some way, their love filled the cracks until it felt almost whole.

It wasn't that she was running away from the truth. She was going to bend the truth to her will.

She thought about telling him that knowing what you want is its own kind of curse. Because when else are you so aware that you're never going to get it? Not knowing meant possibility and dreaming and hopes.

When life hangs in the balance, it tends to narrow your scope of focus, bring priorities into sharp relief, with pointy edges that leave nicks in your heart.

Some things you can change, but those you can't are best left well respected.

And even though he belonged to someone else, there was a part of him he reserved just for her. A space with her name on it. She could feel it in him. And she thought that no matter how many decades went by, no matter whom they loved or lost, or where they ended up, that small piece of real estate in his heart would belong to her forever. And it would have to be enough.

You were both born with magic in your veins and a knowing in your souls. When the fire of ancient wisdom burns in you, you will know that it’s me there with you, urging you on.