The Tutor's Daughter

We all of us die, Miss Smallwood,' he interrupted. 'But we don't all of us make our lives count for something. How much better to die saving another soul than to stand safe on shore and do nothing while others perish?

Make your life count, Henry David Weston. For when you reach the end of your days, you will not look back and wish you'd garnered more money, or power, or fame. You will look back and wish that you had been a better parent, spouse, friend, and Christian. And you will wish for just a little more time with those you love.

She smiled and feigned enthusiasm, although she cared little for the game. Sometimes that's what you did for the people you loved.

Do you not pray, Miss Smallwood?' She avoided his gaze. 'No.' 'God is speaking to you every day,' he said softly. 'You might return the favor.' She raised her chin. 'I don't hear Him.' 'Do you listen?' She looked at him, clearly offended, then turned away again. 'I used to pray, until I found God was not listening, at least not to my prayers.' [He] heard the inner voice of caution but barreled ahead. 'He was listening. But He doesn't always answer the way we would like Him to.

Was it so wrong to relish the feeling anyway? To enjoy the way it lingered, leaving her with a wistful awareness, a pleasant unease, as if she had forgotten to do something? Yes, it probably was wrong. But she did not wish it away.

How he longed to be her rescuer, her brave knight. To prove he was more than the mischievous troublemaker she remembered and likely still thought him.

... he had learned from repeated error not to ignore these quiet proddings, whether of conscience or of God.

And what did you never get to do, Emma Smallwood?” he asked lightly, brushing the tears from her face. “Nothing that really matters, in hindsight.” She shrugged. “Though I would have liked to travel. And perhaps encourage Aunt Jane to live her life. Live enough for the both of us.” “No ordinary dreams? Of marriage, perhaps? A family?” She ducked her head. “Perhaps.” Tears filled her eyes once more. He cupped her face in both of his hands and kissed her again.

He broke away to catch his breath, but his mouth was soon drawn back to her skin, kissing her temple, her forehead, one cheek, then the other. “Mr. Weston,” she breathed shakily. “I . . . I think—” “I think you might call me Henry at this point, don’t you?” he teased.

You did it,” she breathed. “My heart nearly stopped when I saw you go under. Now I know how you felt standing on shore all those years ago. I felt so helpless watching you. All I could do was pray.” He looked into her eyes. “Did you?” She nodded. “How I prayed you would live.” And then she was in his arms, leaning into him, pressing herself against his sodden chest, her cheek against his shoulder. He knew he ought to keep her at arm’s distance—she would get soaked, catch her death. Instead he wrapped his free hand around her waist—her very small waist—and drew her nearer. For several beats of his heart they stood like that, still. Savoring her warmth, her nearness. His other hand still lay on Major’s neck, in a strange triangle embrace. Man, woman, horse. Then sounds from around them broke into his awareness, and perhaps into hers as well, for she slowly righted herself, pulling away, her color high with embarrassment. “I am just so glad you are all right,” she murmured in excuse, head ducked.

Henry would like to make Emma Smallwood smile like that. He would have to make it his aim next time they were together.

He began quietly, “You recall, of course, that I won the Smallwood spelling contest every year I was there?” “Yes, Mr. Weston,” she replied evenly, eyes remaining on the portrait. “And you might also recall that your father declared my handwriting the best he’d ever had the privilege to read?” “Yes, Mr. Weston.” He looked at her composed profile and felt admiration fill him. When she said no more, he slowly shook his head, a small smile lifting the corner of his mouth. “Well done, Miss Smallwood.” He started to turn away but paused to add, “He did admire you, you know. He just didn’t know how to show it.” She gave him an incredulous look. “Mr. Pugsworth?” “Yes,” Henry said, then walked away, thinking, Him too.

Emptiness gnawed at Emma. Could she> face death without fear? If she were to show up at heaven's door tomorrow, would God even recognize her, when it had been so long since she'd bothered to call on Him?

For when you reach the end of your days, you will not look back and wish you’d garnered more money, or power, or fame. You will look back and wish that you had been a better parent, spouse, friend, and Christian. And you will wish for just a little more time with those you love. This I know full well.

Then let the wildest storms arise, Let tempests mingle earth and skies; No fatal shipwreck shall I fear, But all my treasures with me bear. If Thou, my Jesus, still be nigh, Cheerful I live, and joyful die; Secure, when mortal comforts flee, To find ten thousand worlds in Thee.

I am all too aware that I am not all I should be. Not worthy to face God on my own.” “None of us are,” he whispered. “That is why our merciful God sent His beloved son to suffer and die—to cover our wrongdoing.” She nodded, though her eyes remained distant, anxious. He inhaled a ragged breath. “I don’t presume to know what you believe, Emma. But I do know that God loves you and forgives you. And if you acknowledge Him as the only one who can truly save you, save anyone, He will. Maybe not here and now in this world. But in the next. Forever.

God is speaking to you every day,” he said softly. “You might return the favor.” She raised her chin. “I don’t hear Him.” “Do you listen?

It is better to learn late than never. —Publilius Syrus, first-century writer

In the end the myth didn’t matter. What mattered in reality was a person’s character, what he did with the life and abilities God had given him, and his daily choice to act honorably despite the selfish tendencies and weaknesses shared by all humans.

Was it hypocritical to turn to God now, when she had done her utmost to be independent, to make her way without Him until this point?

I do hope to travel,” he said. “But not alone.” She swallowed. “Oh?” Henry pulled something from his coat pocket and unfolded it. “Here is my itinerary.” He held the piece of paper toward her. “What do you think of it?” Emma accepted the single sheet and glanced at the list of Italian destinations—cities, churches, ruins, palazzos, and pensiones—preparing to offer some polite comment. Instead she stared. She turned to her aunt’s desk, opened her notebook, and compared it to their own Italian itinerary—the one they’d had to discard. Except for the handwriting, the lists were identical. She glanced up at him, lips parted in astonishment. He stepped nearer. “I had hoped to travel with my wife, but she is, as yet, unavailable.” Her neck heated. “Oh . . . why?” Henry dipped his chin and raised his brows. “Because she has yet to agree to marry me.

I’m sorry you never got to live the life you wanted. Or see the world. Have an adventure.” He chuckled low in his throat. “Oh, no? I’d say we were having quite the adventure, you and I. They always said to be careful what you wish for, but I wouldn’t listen.

Your aunt Jane is quite a remarkable woman. I’ve always liked her.” “And she you.” “The only Smallwood female to like me in those days, I’d wager. Then or since.” “That’s not true,” Emma said; then she ducked her head, self-conscious. Henry looked at her cheeks, suddenly pink in her pale face, and felt unexpected pleasure warm his heart. Perhaps Emma did like him after all.

Did you really think I might have drawn that picture?” Emma swallowed a self-conscious lump in her throat, then lifted her chin. “I own the notion did cross my mind. But can you blame me? After all, you knew what the piece looked like and you gave me prodigious cause to suspect you in the past.” He inhaled deeply. “I suppose you are right. But that was a long time ago. I have no interest in tricking you now. Nor in frightening you, nor any other dishonorable motive, I assure you.” The warm tenor of his voice did odd things to Emma’s stomach. She blinked, unable to meet his gaze. “Emma, look at me.” She forced herself to meet his remarkable green eyes and saw the sincerity burning there. He said, “You have my word, Emma. I did not do this.” He had called her Emma. She liked the sound of her name on his lips. Nodding, she said, “I believe you.

Eye on the shuttlecock, she ran forward, raised her battledore high, and slammed right into Henry Weston’s chest. The wind knocked from her, Emma lost her balance and might have fallen had not Mr. Weston’s arms shot out and caught her about the waist and shoulder. “Oh,” she cried, embarrassed to have plowed into the man. Embarrassed to find his arms around her. Embarrassed to find she liked it. “I’m so sorry,” she blurted, pushing away from him. “Don’t be. I admire your singular focus. My goodness, Miss Smallwood, where is the timid little creature who flinched at every flying bird as though it were a cricket ball headed for her nose?” Emma straightened and righted her off-kilter bonnet. “I was determined not to embarrass myself,” she admittedly breathlessly. “Only to do just that.” He chuckled, and their eyes met in a moment of shared levity. Then he sobered. “Thank you for the laugh, Miss Smallwood. Just what I needed after yesterday.

You needn’t play, Mr. Weston,” Emma said. “I only agreed to play for Lizzie’s sake, so . . .” “Oh, come, Miss Smallwood. Please tell me you don’t shun all things athletic as you did as a girl.” A teasing light shone in his eyes. “Afraid you’ll lose?” Emma huffed. “I am not afraid to lose. I know I shall. This isn’t chess, after all.” One eyebrow rose. “Oh, ho! A shot to the heart. The lady recalls soundly trouncing me, I see. Then you must give me a chance to redeem myself.” He set aside his hat and adopted a ready stance, bouncing lightly from foot to foot. He looked fifteen years old all over again. Emma felt a grin lift a corner of her mouth. “Oh, very well. But promise not to laugh too hard.” “I promise.

Do you recall the last time you and I danced? I am afraid I was rude to you.” She ducked her head, embarrassed. “You didn’t like being forced to dance with me then any more than now, I imagine.” It was his turn to be taken aback. “Miss Smallwood, you are mistaken. I am very much enjoying dancing with you. I only hesitated because I thought you would prefer to dance with Phillip.