“Do you think 'Duke' is a good name?' she asked.
His face blanked for a second before it cleared. He glanced at the dog in consideration. 'I don't think so. He would outrank me.”
“Where are we going?” she asked.
“Mr. Durbin’s sheep have begun to lamb, and I wanted to see how the ewes are doing.” He cleared his throat. “I suppose I should have told you about today’s outing earlier.”
Anna kept her eyes straight ahead and made a noncommittal sound.
He coughed. “I might’ve, had you not left so precipitously yesterday afternoon.”
She arched a brow but did not reply.
There was a lengthy lull broken only by the dog’s eager yelp as he flushed a rabbit from the hedge along the lane.
Then the earl tried again. “I’ve heard some people say my temper is rather . . .” He paused, apparently searching for a word.
Anna helped him. “Savage?”
He squinted at her.
“Ferocious?”
He frowned and opened his mouth.
She was quicker. “Barbaric?”
He cut her off before she could add to her list. “Yes, well, let us simply say that it intimidates some people.” He hesitated. “I wouldn’t want to intimidate you, Mrs. Wren.”
“You don’t.”
“A garden always has a point.”
“A smile flickered across Coral’s face. “Have you ever noticed that once you have had a taste of certain sweets—raspberry trifle is my own despair—it is quite impossible not to think, not to want, not to crave until you have taken another bite?”
“Lord Swartingham is not a raspberry trifle.”
“No, more of a dark chocolate mousse, I should think,” Coral murmured.
“And,” Anna continued as if she hadn’t heard the interruption, “I don’t need another bite, uh,night of him.”
“He looked up. “Is it time already?” She nodded.
He rose and waited as she gathered her things. The dog followed them out the door, but then he bounded down the stairs to the drive. The animal sniffed intently at something on the ground and then rolled, happily rubbing his head and neck in whatever it was.
Lord Swartingham sighed. “I’ll have one of the stable boys wash him before he enters the Abbey again.”
“Mmm,” Anna murmured thoughtfully. “What do you think of ‘Adonis’?”
He gave her a look so full of incredulous horror that she was hard-pressed not to laugh. “No, I suppose not,” she murmured.”
“She stepped toward Anna.
“I can get you a night with an accomplished male whore or a virginal schoolboy.” Coral’s eyes widened and seemed to flame. “Famous libertines or ragpickers off the street. One very special man or ten complete strangers. Dark men, red men, yellow men, men you’ve only dreamed of in the black of night, lonely in your bed, snug under your covers. Whatever you long for. Whatever you desire. Whatever you crave. You have only to ask me.”
Anna stared at Coral like a mesmerized mouse before a particularly beautiful snake.”
“If I've never stepped outside the role that's been assigned to me since birth, I've never tested myself. I've been too afraid of others' opinions, I think. I've been a coward. If that woman needs me, why not help her - for her... and for me?”
“I am a whore," she said. "And in addition to that, I am not a nice woman. But despite these facts, my word is gold.”
“Have you ever noticed that once you have had a tasted of certain sweets- raspberry trifle is my own despair- it is quite impossible not to think, not to want, not to crave until you have taken another bite?”
“I won’t marry you,” she repeated.
“Why not? You were eager enough to fuck me.”
Anna winced. “I do wish you would stop using that word.”
Edward swung around and assumed a hideously sarcastic expression. “Would you prefer swive? Tup? Dance the buttock jig?”
“Oh, how she wanted this man! She wanted to hold him like this tomorrow and fifty years hence. She wanted to be by his side every morning when he woke, she wanted his to be the last voice she heard before she fell asleep at night.”
“Edward shot a glare at Davis that held the promise of dismemberment, mayhem, and the apocalypse.”
“Briefly, he tried to imagine any of his previous, male secretaries daring to comment on his appearance. It was impossible. In fact, he couldn’t think of anyone, save his current female secretary, who made such impertinent comments to him. Oddly, he found her impertinence endearing. Not that he let it show.”
“Edward got up from his desk, limped across to hers, and placed both hands, palms down, upon it. He leaned over until his eyes were only inches from her hazel ones. “I am not ashamed,” he said very slowly. “I did not fall off my horse. I was not thrown from my horse. I wish to end this discussion. Is that amenable to you, Mrs. Wren?” Anna swallowed visibly, drawing his eyes to her throat. “Yes. Yes, that’s quite amenable to me, Lord Swartingham.” “Good.” His gaze rose to her lips, wet where she had licked them in her nervousness. “I thought of you while I was gone. Did you think of me? Did you miss me?” “I—” she started to whisper.”
“When he died, she took her hopes for a child and wrapped them carefully in a box and buried that box deep, deep in her heart. So deep, she thought never to face that dream again. Except, with one sentence, Edward had exhumed the box and ripped it open. And her hopes, her dreams, her need to bear a child were as fresh now as they had been when she was newly wed.”
“If I’ve never stepped outside the role that’s been assigned to me since birth, I’ve never tested myself. I’ve been too afraid of others’ opinions, I think. I’ve been a coward. If that woman needs me, why not help her—for her… and for me?”
“What of all the men who made her what she is by associating with her?” she asked. “No one worries about the reputation of the men who patronize whores.” “I can’t believe you would speak of such things,” he sputtered in outrage.”
“The earl slowly pivoted to face her, the crunching of his boots in the gravel drive loud in the stillness. They stood only a few feet distant. He took a step, his beautiful, heavy-lidded eyes intent on her face.”
“I believed… No. I knew we had an attraction. Then you left and I realized you were taking what you felt for me and giving it to another woman. A woman you didn’t even know. And I wanted—needed—” Anna threw up her hands in frustration. “I wanted to be the one you-you swived with.”
“You were the one who left for London. You were the one who decided to-to tup another woman. You were the one who turned away from me. From us. Who is the greater sinner? I will no longer—urp!”
“He took a deep breath and wished irritably that she would call him by his given name. He longed to hear her say Edward. But no. It would be highly inappropriate for her to call him by his Christian name. He gathered his scattered thoughts. “We should return to work.” He stood and strode from the room, feeling as if he were fleeing fire-breathing monsters rather than one plain little widow.”
“He paid scant attention to the conversation. He could smell his own sent on Anna's body, and it satisfied him in a primal way ... She gasped as he buried his nose in her maiden hair and inhaled. His scent was strongest here, in her gilded curls so soft and pretty in the morning light.”
“Anna Wren was not for him. She was of a different class than he, and, moreover, she was a respectable widow from the village. She wasn’t a sophisticated society lady who might consider a liaison outside of wedlock.”
“It was no use. Edward rolled his head back against his shoulders, trying to ease the tension. He would have to make a trip to London soon to spend a night or even two at Aphrodite’s Grotto. Perhaps after that he could be in his secretary’s presence without lustful thoughts taking over his mind.”
“She caught her breath on a sob. He was going to London to bed another woman.”
“No, please don’t apologize.” She smiled, warmth spreading through her breast as she gathered her courage. Maybe this was the time. “I wanted the kiss just as much as you. As a matter of—” “I’m engaged.” “What?” Anna recoiled as if he had struck her. “I’m engaged to be married.” Edward grimaced as if in self-disgust or possibly pain. She stood frozen, struggling to comprehend the simple words. A numbness seeped throughout her body, driving out the warmth as if it had never been.”
“I must have an heir. Do you understand?” He grit his teeth and said, as if he were pulling the words, bloody and torn, from his very heart, “I must marry a woman who can bear children.”
“He studied her upturned face for a minute. “Please forgive me. I don’t want you to hope. If there were any way—” “I know.” She got to her feet. “I even understand.” She walked briskly to the door. “I came down to get something for Rebecca. She must be wondering what happened to me.”
“He would have to marry her, and in doing so give up all his dreams, all his hopes, of having a family. She”
“in his direction. “She is being”
“In Dream
Black and enduring separation
I share equally with you.
Why weep? Gove me your hand,
promise me you will come again.
You and I are like high
mountains and we can't move closer.
Just send me word
at midnight sometime through the stars.
1946”
“Nonetheless, writing regularly, inspiration or no, is not a bad way to eventually get into an inspired mood; the plane has to bump along the runway for a while before it finally takes off.”
“Were we ever that beautiful?”
“You still are,” Roger told him. “Maybe we should make the most of the hurricane.”
“This was definitely foreplay.”
“It’s like Tumblr, the live version.”
Dave chuckled. “True. But I did not see it coming.”
“Maybe hurricanes affect gaydar?”
“How much did you have to drink?”
“Enough to pretend we can still have sex like that.”
“I love getting lost on purpose”
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