“Are you free to be anything more than a friend to me? If," and she stressed the if heavily, "I ever decided to live in Avalon and wanted to be with you, would you be free enough to do that?"
He looked away, and Laurel could tell he'd been avoiding a conversation like this.
"Well?" she insisted.
"If you wanted it," he finally said.
"If I wanted it?"
He nodded. "I'm not allowed to ask. You would have to ask me."
Her breath caught in her chest, and Tamani looked at her.
"Why do you think David bothers me so much?"
Laurel looked down at her lap.
"I can't just storm in and proclaim my intentions. I can't 'steal' you away. I just have to wait and hope that, someday, you'll ask."
"And if I don't?" Laurel said, her voice barley above a whisper.
"Then I guess I'll wait forever.”
“Tell me," he said, his voice sharp and demanding. "Tell me David is all you need or want out of life." Ηis face was close to her, his soft breath caressing her face. "Τhat you never think of me when you are kissing him, that you don't dream of me the way I dream of you. Tell me you don't love me.”
“If the time comes and your dream doesn't seem worth it, then maybe it was the wrong dream.”
“It’s going to be gone soon, isn’t it?” he said, more than a tinge of regret in his voice as he studied the large flower.
She nodded, craning her neck to look back at the blue blossom. “It should be gone in another week or two,” she said. There was a distinct lack of regret in her voice. “Maybe less, after last night.”
Is it really such a bother?”
Sometimes.”
David’s hands stroked one of the longer petals on the blossom from base to tip, then brought it briefly to his nose and inhaled. “It’s just so . . . I don’t know . . . sexy.”
Really? But it’s so . . . plantish.”
“Her two worlds, two lives that she tried so hard to keep separate, were crashing together. And she felt helpless to stop it.”
“Tamani smiled softly and lifted a hand to her face, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear and letting his thumb rest on her cheek. 'Trust me, it's no picnic missing you. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.”
“Tamani:" "I can't just storm in and proclaim my intentions. I can't 'steal' you away. I just have to wait and hope that, someday, you'll ask."
"And if I don't?" Laurel said, her voice barley above a whisper.
"Then I guess I'll wait forever.”
“Tell me you don't love me."
Laurel's mouth moved, but she said nothing.
"Tell me," he said, his voice sharp and demanding. "Tell me David is all you need or want in your life." His face was closer to her, his soft breath caressing her face. "That you never think of me when you're kissing him. That you don't dream about me the way I dream about you.Tell me you don't love me."
She looked up at him,desperation consuming her. Her mouth felt dry, parched, and the words she tried to force out wouldn't come.
"You can't even say it," he said, his arms pulling her in now instead of holding her steady. "Then love me, Laurel. Just love me!”
“And if you care about me half as much as you claim, then it should matter way more to you what I think than what they think.”
“He lives for you, Laurel, and that's not some kind of figure of speech.He lives every day for you.Even after you moved to Crescent City,all he did every day was talk about you,worry about you, wonder what was happening, if he would ever see you again. And even what I told him I was sick of hearing about you, I could tell he was still thinking about you.Every moment of every day.”
“You ready for this?" Shar asked.
"Yeah," Tamani said, a grin spreading across his face, "Oh, yeah.”
“His face was tense, his jaw flexed as he stared at her. She could hardly stand to meet his eyes. They were an ocean of betrayal. They probed her, searching for the smallest sign that she didn't mean it. That spark of hope that never seemed to go out.”
“Laurel rolled her eyes. “Now there‟s something I really wanted to know ” she said sarcastically.
“Ah come on—everyone wonders.”
“Do not ”
“Sure. I‟ve always wondered what kind of a kisser David is.”
“Um that‟s one of those questions you‟re not supposed to ask.”
Chelsea laughed. “I didn‟t ask. I just said I‟ve always wondered.”
“That‟s asking.”
“Is not.” She leaned back against her headboard. “‟Course you could tell me anyway.”
“Chelsea ”
“What I told you.”
“I didn‟t ask.”
“Technicality.”
“I‟m not telling.”
“That‟s code for he sucks.”
“He does not suck.”
“Aha ”
Laurel sighed. “You are so weird.”
“Yeah ” Chelsea said with a grin tossing her springy curls. “But you love me.”
Laurel laughed. “Yes I do.” She leaned over and tipped her head onto Chelsea‟s shoulder. “And I‟m glad you‟re happy.”
“He lives for you, Laurel, and that’s not some kind of figure of speech. He lives every day for you. All he did every day was talk about you, worry about you, wonder what was happening, if he would ever see you again. And even when I told him I was sick of hearing about you, I could tell he was still thinking about you. Every moment of the day. And you dont appreciate that. He lost his father last spring. That was the worst part ever. He was so distraught. But he knew it would be okay, because you were going to come see him. ‘In May’ he told me ‘She’s coming in May’. But you didn’t come in May. He waited for you every day, Laurel. And then, when you finally showed up at the end of June, the second he saw you-the instant he saw you- you were forgiven. And everytime you come and then leave- go back to your human boy- you shatter him all over again. And honestly, I dont think you even care.”
“Like...instinct?"
At that Laurel flopped down on her back, a frustrated breath whooshing out of her. "Oh man, instinct, that's like the F-word in Avalon.Yeardley kept telling me, 'You are trying to rely on instinct,you need to trust your intuition instead.' But I looked up those two words and they mean the exact same thing.”
“Would you rather you were able to experience the reunion with a long-lost set of parents who had been suffering for years missing and loving you or would you rather they weren't hurting while you were raised by human parents who adore you?"
Laurel swallowed. "I hadn't thought of it that way."
Tamani smiled softly and lifted a hand to her face, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear and letting his thumb rest on her cheek. "Trust me, it's no picnic missing you. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.”
“A lot can happen in that time.And, seriously, if you have to give up a dream to be with a guy, maybe you've chosen the wrong guy."
Chelsea's brow furrowed and she fiddled with her fingers. "And what if the time comes and the dream doesn't seem worhth it?"
David's and Tamani's face seemed to float before Laurel's eyes, the Academy looming in the background.She shrugged and forced the images from her mind. "Then maybe it was the wrong dream.”
“Tell me, Laurel, what
do you know of erosion?”
Laurel couldn’t imagine what this had to do with anything, but she answered anyway. “Like when water or
wind wears away the ground?”
“That’s right. Given enough time, wind and rain will carry the tallest mountain into the sea. But,” he said,
raising a finger, “a hillside covered in grass will resist erosion, and a riverbank may be held in place by
bushes and trees. They spread their roots,” he said, extending his hands with his story, “and grab hold. And
though the river will pull at the soil, if the roots are strong enough, they will prevail. If they cannot, they
will eventually be carried away too.”
“Her hand wandered under his shirt, feeling his rapid breath expand his ribs. She hesitated for a second—wondering what the chances were that either of her parents would come home early—then lifted his shirt with both hands, guiding it up his arms and over his head. It was her favourite indulgence; holding herself against his bare chest.”
“I can't just storm in and proclaim my intentions. I can't 'steal' you away. I just have to wait and hope that, someday, you'll ask," Tamani said.
"And if I don't?" Laurel said, her voice barely above a whisper.
"Then I guess I'll be waiting forever.”
“He exuded wisdom-even the wisest...were pale, flickering candles next to the nourishing solar illumination of [his] insights.”
“Leaning back against Cam's chest, I tipped my head back and I reached up, cupping his cheek. I drew his mouth to mine and kissed him softly. "Thank you."
His lips curved up on one side. "For what?"
"For waiting for me.”
“You'll only find happy endings in books. Some books.”
“El día empieza a medianoche, en mitad de la oscuridad. Y luego todo es luz.”
“I am putting old heads on your young shoulders,' Miss Brodie had told them at the time.”
“No, but I am working up to telling you that there is no possibility of there being done what ought to be done-”
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