352 pages
Rating: (11.5K votes)
“Writer's Resolution
Enough's Enough! No more shall I
Pursue the Muse and scorch the pie
Or dream of Authoring a book
When I (unhappy soul) must cook;
Or burn the steak while I wool-gather,
And stir my spouse into a lather
Invoking words like "Darn!" and such
And others that are worse (Oh, much!)
Concerning culinary knack
Which I (HE says) completely lack.
I'll keep my mind upon my work;
I'll learn each boresome cooking quirk;
This day shall mark a new leaf's turning...
That smell! Oh Hell! The beans are burning!”
“Sometimes when your life seems most out of control, you know there's a direction. I don't mean you can't have free will--in fact, that can be the most important part.”
“At that moment we knew that as long as we used our brains, we were not victims. By striking out to write our own ticket, we would grow up to be like our mother, winners.”
“From then on, we knew there could never be a problem bigger than Mom's ability to solve it.”
“My mother didn't like to hear profanity, and she certainly never spoke it. She had always told us that swearing was the sign of a lackluster vocabulary and, worse, a stunted imagination. "There are so many interesting words to use, along or in combination," she said, "that I don't know why anyone would fall back on one-syllable obscenities.”
“Every time I pass church
I stop and make a visit
So when I'm carried in feet first
God won't say, "Who is it?”
“Sometimes t feels like I live in a circus and all the animals are loose.”
“There are two ways to reach me: by way of kisses or by way of the imagination. But there is a hierarchy: the kisses alone don't work.”
“When an eighty-five pound mammal licks your tears away, then tries to sit on your lap, it's hard to feel sad.”
“Is it possible, after all, that in spite of bricks and shaven faces, this world we live in is brimmed with wonders, and I and all mankind, beneath our garbs of commonplaceness, conceal enigmas that the stars themselves, and perhaps the highest seraphim, can not resolve?”
“When asked by her publisher why her work had not been submitted while on her honeymoon: "I've been too fucking busy or vice versa”
“You left me over college tuition? Seriously? You left me broken and crying over money?”
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