The Joys of Motherhood

God, when will you create a woman who will be fulfilled in herself, a full human being, not anybody’s appendage? she prayed desperately.

Nnu Ego was like those not-so well-informed Christians who,promised the Kingdom of Heaven,believed that it was literally just round the corner and that Jesus Christ was coming on the very morrow. Many of them would hardly contribute anything ton this world,reasoning, "What is the use? Christ will come soon" They became so insulated in their beliefs that not only would they have little to do with ordinary sinners,people going about their daily work, they even pitied them and in many cases looked down on them because the Kingdom of God was not for the likes of them. Maybe this was a protective mechanism devised to save them from realities too painful to accept.

In Ibuza sons help their father more than they help their mother. A mother's joy is only in the name. She worries over them,looks after them when they are small;but in the actual help on the farm ,the upholding of the family name,all belong to the father.

Don't blame anyone for what has happened to your father. Things have changed drastically since the days of his own youth,but he has refused to see the changes...The fact is that parents get only reflected glory from their children nowadays,whereas your father has invested in all of you, just as his father invested in him so that he could help on the farm. Your father forgot that he himself left the family farm to come to this place.

Nnaife did not realise that Dr Meers's laughter was inspired by that type of wickedness that reduces any man, white or black, intelligent or not, to a new low; lower than the basest of animals, for animals at least respected each other's feelings, each other's dignity.

The fear of everybody was that the man might give in and say, "After all, it's her life." However a thing like that is not permitted in Nigeria; you are simply not allowed to commit suicide in peace, because everyone is responsible for the other person. Foreigners may call us a nation of busybodies, but to us, an individual's life belongs to the community and not just to him or her.

Enquanto voltava para o quarto, ocorreu a Nnu Ego que ela uma prisioneira: aprisionada pelo amor por seus filhos, aprisionada pelo papel de esposa mais velha. Dela, não se esperava nem que pedisse mais dinheiro para a família, essa atitude seria considerada inferior ao padrão esperado de uma mulher em sua posição. Não era justa, ela achava, o modo como os espertos dos homens usavam o sentido de responsabilidade de uma mulher para escravisá-la na prática.

Quanto mais eu penso no assunto, mais me dou conta de que nós, mulheres, fixamos modelos impossíveis para nós mesmas. Que tornamos a vida intolerável umas para as outras. Não consigo corresponder a nossos modelos, esposa mais velha. Por isso preciso criar meus próprios.

Os homens nos fazem acreditar que precisamos desejar filhos ou morrer. Foi por isso que quando perdi meu primeiro filho eu quis a morte, porque não fora capaz de corresponder ao modelo esperado de mim pelos homens da minha vida, meu pai e meu marido, e agora tenho que incluir também meus filhos. Mas quem foi que escreveu a lei que nos proíbe de investir nossas esperanças em nossas filhas? Nós, mulheres, corroboramos essa lei mais que ninguém. Enquanto não mudarmos isso, este mundo continuará sendo um mundo de homens, mundo esse que as mulheres sempre ajudarão a construir.