The Girls I've Been

What didn't kill me didn't make me stronger; what didn't kill me made me into a victim. But I made me stronger. I made me into a survivor.

There is no normal. There is just a bunch of people pretending there is. There's just different levels of pain. Different stages of safe. The biggest con of all is that there's a normal.

I’d tear the whole world apart for you" "And I'd burn it down for you

I fell like a star and she was the end of the world. A cataclysmic crash of two people. Never to be the same. Never getting back up. Not unless we were doing it together.

It was the perfect meet-cute, except when you’re a girl who likes other girls, there’s this little additional dance, because what if she doesn’t? So you’re not looking for red flags like a girl does with a guy—you’re looking for rainbow ones.

Practically everyone thinks they're smarter than a teenage girl. It's what makes being one so powerful, if you know how to use that giant mistake of an assumption.

I hate the whole " what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" saying. It's bullshit. Sometimes what kills you is worse. Sometimes what kills you is preferable. Sometimes what doesn't kill you messes you up so bad it's always a fight to make it through what you left with. What didn't kill me didn't make me stronger; what didn't made me a victim. But I made me stronger. I made me into a survivor.

This we share. Scars and knowledge and broken saftey that was never reallty there in the first place, because we were born to bad apples.

I was raised for a kind of slaughter. But I grew into a huntress instead. One who always hits her target. No matter what.

We're all gonna die because I waited for the bacon donuts

We’re both girls whose bones got forged from secrets instead of steel. No wonder we snapped together like magnets.

Came into the world with a lie on my lips

I am so sick of crying over them...those girls and what happened to each of them. My mother and what she dragged me into... and how I clawed myself out.

I'd never felt more instantly connected to a person in my life. I didn't love her immediately. I was already too wary for that. But I recognized something in her, something I wanted to be but couldn't even articulate yet: free.

She's staring at me with a bomb and her brilliance between us, and I'm twisting a paper towel fuse with the kind of trust I didn't think I could give another person.

i want to shoot him. i should shoot him. Ashley would. Rebecca wouldn't know how. Samantha would maybe consider it. Haley would for sure. Katie showed me first what i was capable of. so where does that leave me?

If you think I didn’t stab that asshole, you have not been paying attention. Because that’s exactly what I did.

there's no solid ground,. i learn to dance on a tilting one instead.

My heart has a piece of Wes wrapped around it like a bandage. My skin will hold the memory of him as permanent, because you don’t forget the first person to touch you with love after life’s taught you all touch is fear and pain.

There's a choice, when you know your fate's to be hunted and gobbled up and used. You can give in like it's inevitable or you can turn the tables. I was raised for a kind of slaughter. But I grew into a huntress instead. One who always hits her target. No matter what.

Broken girls, both of us, growing up into women with cracks plastered rough over where smooth should be.

You can make vows of loyalty to each other like medieval knights next week. I’ll weave some flower crowns and wear a nice dress for the occasion.

the best con has a seed of truth

I didn’t fall for Iris like a ton of bricks. I fell like I was a star and she was the end of the world. A cataclysmic crash of two people, never to be the same. Never getting back up. Not unless we were doing it together.

I've danced way too long on the tilted ground. I don't know what to do with myself when I'm on something steady.

I see the steel wrapped in fear that all little girls find on the spike-strewn road to womanhood.

I'd tear the whole world apart for you," he says, and it's not romantic, even though it should be. It's so matter of fact, this secret truth now sprouted between us, like my name and my real hair color and the stories behind my scars; also things that only he knows. "And I'd burn it down for you.

Some traits you can dye away and some names you can forge fresh, but you can't hide from your true self and the lessons you learned in the dark of the night.

this is what i know: if they cant make you soft and scared, they'll just make you scared

There is no normal,” Amelia says. “There’s just a bunch of people pretending there is. There’s just different levels of pain. Different stages of safe. The biggest con of all is that there’s a normal. What I want for you is happiness and safety. That’s what I want for myself, too.