The Authoritative Calvin and Hobbes: A Calvin and Hobbes Treasury

I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know.

I'd hate to have a kid like me.

If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.

Girls are like slugs—they probably serve some purpose, but it's hard to imagine what.

I won't eat any cereal that doesn't turn the milk purple.

Calvin: The more you know, the harder it is to take decisive action. Once you are informed, you start seeing complexities and shades of gray. You realize nothing is as clear as it first appears. Ultimately, knowledge is paralyzing. Being a man of action, I cannot afford to take that risk. Hobbes: You're ignorant, but at least you act on it.

Happiness is being famous for your financial ability to indulge in every kind of excess.

But Calvin is no kind and loving god! He's one of the old gods! He demands sacrifice!

Barney's Dad was really bad so Barney hatched a plan when his dad said "Eat your peas." Barney shouted no and ran Barney tricked his mean old dad and locked him in the cellar Barney's Mom never found out where he'd gone, Cause Barney didn't tell her. There his dad spent his life eating mice and gruel With every bite for fifty years he was sorry he'd been cruel