“There was this book Dad used to read to me every night called "The Giving Tree." It was a really good book, but the back of it had a picture of the author, this guy named Shel Silverstein.
But Shel Silverstein looks more like a burglar or a pirate than a guy who should be writing books for kids.
Dad must have known that picture kind of freaked me out, because one night after I got out of bed, Dad said: "IF YOU GET OUT OF BED AGAIN TONIGHT, YOU'LL PROBABLY RUN INTO SHEL SILVERSTEIN IN THE HALLWAY."
That really did the trick, Ever since then, I STILL don't get out of bed at night, even if I really need to use the bathroom.”
― Jeff Kinney, quote from The Last Straw
“I didn't really know what to expect from detention but when I waked into the room, the first thought I had was, I don't belong in here with these future criminals.”
― Jeff Kinney, quote from The Last Straw
“But the thing I’m finding out is some people don’t really appreciate it when you’r trying to be helpful.”
― Jeff Kinney, quote from The Last Straw
“I'm basically one of the best people I know.”
― Jeff Kinney, quote from The Last Straw
“Holly is the fourth-prettiest girl in the class, but the top 3 all have boyfriends. So a lot of guys like me are doing everything they can to get in good with her.”
― Jeff Kinney, quote from The Last Straw
“This morning he told everyone that he’s a “big boy” and he’s giving up his pacifier for good. Then he threw his favorite binkie in the trash. Clap clap Clap clap Well, that New Year’s resolution didn’t even last a full minute. suck suck suck The only person in my family who didn’t come up with a resolution is my older brother, Rodrick, and that’s a pity because his list should be about a mile and a half long.”
― Jeff Kinney, quote from The Last Straw
“Merit badges are these little patches you get for learning how to do all sorts of manly stuff.”
― Jeff Kinney, quote from The Last Straw
“Manny has it made in church”
― Jeff Kinney, quote from The Last Straw
“That made Dad pretty mad, so he said
"NO SON OF MINE IS A QUITTER!"
Which isn't really true at all. I'm a HUGE quitter, and so is Rodrick. And I think Manny is on his third of fourth preschool by now.”
― Jeff Kinney, quote from The Last Straw
Jeff Kinney
Born place: in Andrews Air Force Base, Maryland, The United States
Born date February 19, 2018
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“Digamos que el pobre maestro hubiera podido disfrutar por mucho tiempo de una existencia plácida y feliz, ... de no haberse cruzado en su camino la criatura que más turbaciones causa en la existencia del hombre, mayores aún que cualesquiera espectros, demonios y brujos juntos: una mujer.”
― Washington Irving, quote from The Legend of Sleepy Hollow
“Advice for wives circa 1896: The indiscriminate reading of novels is one of the most injurious habits to which a married woman can be subject. Besides the false views of human nature it will impart … it produces an indifference to the performance of domestic duties, and contempt for ordinary realities.”
― Jenny Offill, quote from Dept. of Speculation
“You can play the part for so long, wear the mask, say what people expect you to say. Fight for as long as there is air in your lungs. Fly if you have wings. But you can never be free from someone who won't let you go.”
― Debbie Howells, quote from The Beauty of the End
“Dev tucks my hair behind my ear. “Yeah— whoa.” I clear my throat and sit up straighter. Somehow I managed to lean in rather close as he was talking. “The weird thing was,” he continues, “where we found you, under this tree, is where I’d go anytime I wanted to be alone. I would come here to think and get out of the city. And that’s where you landed. Sometimes, I think…”
“What do you think?” I nudge him to finish.
He delicately plays with the top of my hand. “Sometimes I think that you were sent to me, that someone knew I would find you.”
― E.J. Mellow, quote from The Dreamer
“Put another way, I love all of you dog lovers, but I have to spoil your fun a little with a fundamental truth. There is, in an important evolutionary sense, no such thing as a specific breed of dog. If a Great Dane has sex with a dachshund, you get a dog. If a Standard Poodle has sex with a Jack Russell terrier, you get a dog. If a mutt has sex with a so-called purebred, you get a dog.”
― Bill Nye, quote from Undeniable: Evolution and the Science of Creation
Burr
Nation
One Grave at a Time
Washington Square
Team of Rivals: The...
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