Quotes from The Last Straw

Jeff Kinney ·  218 pages

Rating: (94.8K votes)


“There was this book Dad used to read to me every night called "The Giving Tree." It was a really good book, but the back of it had a picture of the author, this guy named Shel Silverstein.
But Shel Silverstein looks more like a burglar or a pirate than a guy who should be writing books for kids.
Dad must have known that picture kind of freaked me out, because one night after I got out of bed, Dad said: "IF YOU GET OUT OF BED AGAIN TONIGHT, YOU'LL PROBABLY RUN INTO SHEL SILVERSTEIN IN THE HALLWAY."
That really did the trick, Ever since then, I STILL don't get out of bed at night, even if I really need to use the bathroom.”
― Jeff Kinney, quote from The Last Straw


“I didn't really know what to expect from detention but when I waked into the room, the first thought I had was, I don't belong in here with these future criminals.”
― Jeff Kinney, quote from The Last Straw


“But the thing I’m finding out is some people don’t really appreciate it when you’r trying to be helpful.”
― Jeff Kinney, quote from The Last Straw


“I'm basically one of the best people I know.”
― Jeff Kinney, quote from The Last Straw


“Holly is the fourth-prettiest girl in the class, but the top 3 all have boyfriends. So a lot of guys like me are doing everything they can to get in good with her.”
― Jeff Kinney, quote from The Last Straw



“This morning he told everyone that he’s a “big boy” and he’s giving up his pacifier for good. Then he threw his favorite binkie in the trash. Clap clap Clap clap Well, that New Year’s resolution didn’t even last a full minute. suck suck suck The only person in my family who didn’t come up with a resolution is my older brother, Rodrick, and that’s a pity because his list should be about a mile and a half long.”
― Jeff Kinney, quote from The Last Straw


“Merit badges are these little patches you get for learning how to do all sorts of manly stuff.”
― Jeff Kinney, quote from The Last Straw


“Manny has it made in church”
― Jeff Kinney, quote from The Last Straw


“That made Dad pretty mad, so he said
"NO SON OF MINE IS A QUITTER!"
Which isn't really true at all. I'm a HUGE quitter, and so is Rodrick. And I think Manny is on his third of fourth preschool by now.”
― Jeff Kinney, quote from The Last Straw


About the author

Jeff Kinney
Born place: in Andrews Air Force Base, Maryland, The United States
Born date February 19, 2018
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Popular quotes

“The passageway smelled of smoke: burning wood, a torch, acrid. His head ached. Blood was wet and sticky upon his arm and on his fingers, and the orange glow of torchlight played from behind his back and over the corridor walls, leaping like a bonfire. There was a strange familiarity to it: the narrow walls in around him. And when he came to a wooden door set in the wall, he put his hand upon it and pushed it open.

There was a room, and a pallet inside it; a small torch burned low in a socket upon the wall. A man lay upon the cot, his face bruised and battered, his hands curled against his chest bloody: and Laurence knew him; knew him and knew himself. He remembered another door opening, in Bristol, three years before, and a voice asking him to come outside his prison, in a Britain under siege.

“Tenzing,” Laurence said, and, as Tharkay opened feverish eyes, went to help him stand.”
― Naomi Novik, quote from Blood of Tyrants


“For thousands of years, my kind had been thought of as nothing more than the stone sculptures perched upon the rooftops of homes and churches. Aka gargoyles. And technically, that’s what we were – but the depiction of a gargoyle was vastly exaggerated. Even the ugliest of all Wardens didn’t have a bulbous nose or fangs jutting from his mouth. It was rather insulting when you thought about it.”
― Jennifer L. Armentrout, quote from Bitter Sweet Love


“Joke 'em if they can't take a fuck. -NATALIE”
― Kresley Cole, quote from The Professional: Part 1


“We each have our belssings and our curses. In the end it makes us equals.”
― Elizabeth Haydon, quote from The Floating Island


“Case in point: On one of their first dates, he brought her a box of Ivory Flakes soap. Who needs flowers? Roses fade, but flaky soap available from the PX lasted months. Having Ivory Flakes was a rarity in itself, and also saved her valuable time—one less line to stand in, only to find that the grocer was out. Again. That was romance, as far as Colleen was concerned. Maybe this guy was a keeper after all.”
― Denise Kiernan, quote from The Girls of Atomic City: The Untold Story of the Women Who Helped Win World War II


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