Quotes from Tatiana and Alexander

“We walk alone through this world, but if we're lucky, we have a moment of belonging to something, to someone, that sustains us through a lifetime of loneliness.”
― Paullina Simons, quote from Tatiana and Alexander

“Memory - that fiend, that cruel enemy of comfort.”
― Paullina Simons, quote from Tatiana and Alexander

“Will you remember that? Anywhere you are, if you can look up and find Perseus in the sky, find that smile, and hear the galactic wind whisper your name, you'll know that it's me, calling for you... calling you back to Lazarevo. (Alexander)”
― Paullina Simons, quote from Tatiana and Alexander

“There is one moment, a moment in eternity. Before we find out the truth about one another. That simple moment is the one that propels us through life – what we felt at the very edge of our future, standing over the abyss, before we knew for sure we loved. Before we knew for sure we loved forever. …

Before all that, you and I walked through The Summer Garden, and once in a while my bare arm touched your arm, and once in a while you spoke and that gave me an excuse to look up into your face, into your laughing eyes, to catch a glimpse of your mouth and I, who had never been touched, tried to imagine what it might be like to have your mouth touch me. Falling in love with you in The Summer Garden in the white nights of Leningrad is the moment that propels me though life.”
― Paullina Simons, quote from Tatiana and Alexander

“In Alexander's life there was one thread that could not be broken by death, by distance, by time, by war. Could not be broken. As long as I am in the world, she said with her breath and her body, as long as I am, you are permanent, soldier.”
― Paullina Simons, quote from Tatiana and Alexander

“Live as if you have faith,” she said, “and faith shall be
given to you.”
― Paullina Simons, quote from Tatiana and Alexander

“Thank you," she whispered, "for keeping yourself alive, soldier."
"You're welcome," he whispered back.”
― Paullina Simons, quote from Tatiana and Alexander

“I love you as much as it is possible for a man to love a woman.”
― Paullina Simons, quote from Tatiana and Alexander

“Tania, last time in Morozovo, I let you go, but not this time. This time we live together or we die together.”
― Paullina Simons, quote from Tatiana and Alexander

“But on that sunlit Sunday, Alexander knew nothing, thought nothing, imagined nothing. He forgot Dimitri and war and the Soviet Union and escape plans, and even America, and crossed the street for Tatiana Metanova.”
― Paullina Simons, quote from Tatiana and Alexander

“Though much is taken, much abides; and though we are not now that strength which in old days moved
earth and heaven, that which we are, we are—
Unyielding.”
― Paullina Simons, quote from Tatiana and Alexander

“If I can live through this, he thought, I can live through anything. If I can live through this, I WILL live through anything.”
― Paullina Simons, quote from Tatiana and Alexander

“Tania,” he whispers, “promise me you won’t forget me when I die.”
“You won’t die, soldier,” she says. “You won’t die. Live! Live on, breathe on, claw onto life, and do not let go. Promise me you will live for me, and I promise you, when you’re done, I will be waiting for you.” She is sobbing. “Whenever you’re done, Alexander, I will be here, waiting for you.”
― Paullina Simons, quote from Tatiana and Alexander

“You will find a way to live without me. You will find a way to live for both of us, Alexander had said to her, once.

She knew now, knew for certain what she had long feared, long suspected: Alexander had handed her his life and said, this is for you. I cannot save myself, I can only save you, and you have to go and live your life the way you and only you were meant to live it. You have to be strong, and you have to be happy, and you have to love our child, and eventually, you have to love. Eventually, you have to learn to love again, and to smile again, and to put me away, you have to learn to hold another man's hand, and kiss another man's lips. You have to marry again. You have to have more children. You have to live your life--for me, for you. You have to live it as we would have lived it. All in one word: Orbeli.”
― Paullina Simons, quote from Tatiana and Alexander

“And then, because she was Tatiana and because she couldn’t help herself, and because he wouldn’t have it any other way, she ran to him and was in his arms.”
― Paullina Simons, quote from Tatiana and Alexander

“Shura, I’m yours. You may not like it today, you may not want it tonight, you may wish for it all to be different now, but it remains, and I remain, as always, only yours. Nothing can change that. Not your wrath, your fists, your body or your death.”
― Paullina Simons, quote from Tatiana and Alexander

“Falling in love with you in the Summer Garden in the white nights in Leningrad is the moment that propels me through life.”
― Paullina Simons, quote from Tatiana and Alexander

“Alexander. Here he is, before he was Tatiana’s, at the age of twenty, getting his medal of valor for bringing back Yuri Stepanov during the 1940 Winter War. Alexander is in his dress Soviet uniform, snug against his body, his stance at-ease and his hand up to his temple in teasing salute. There is a gleaming smile on his face, his eyes are carefree, his whole man-self full of breath-taking, aching youth. And yet, the war was on, and his men had already died and frozen and starved … and his mother and father were gone… and he was far away from home, and getting farther and farther, and every day was his last – one way or another, every day was his last. And yet, he smiles, he shines, he is happy.”
― Paullina Simons, quote from Tatiana and Alexander

“Do I think she has forgotten me; found a new life? Assumed that I was dead, accepted that I was dead. Alexander shrugged. I think about it all the time. I live inside my heart. But what can I do? I have to move toward her.”
― Paullina Simons, quote from Tatiana and Alexander

“«Tania...» sussurrò Alexander. «Non ti lascerò andare finché non ti avrò avuta abbastanza. Finché non mi avrai scaldato dentro e fuori».”
― Paullina Simons, quote from Tatiana and Alexander

“All she had to do was stay where she was, go on as she was.
But there was no Tatiana here. Tatiana remained with Alexander. Her arms were around him in Lake
Ladoga, where she lay down with him every night. Her arms were holding him bleeding out into the Lake
Ladoga ice. She could have let go of him then, could have given him to God; God was certainly calling
for him.
But she didn’t.
And because she didn’t, she was here in America, sitting on the ledge of the rest of her life. It certainly
felt that way, that seminal moment where she knew that whatever her decision, her life would take either
one course or it would take another.
One way the path was plain and vivid.
And the other was black and fraught with doubt”
― Paullina Simons, quote from Tatiana and Alexander

“The Field of Mars, June, death, life, white nights, Dasha, Dimitri, the all came…
And went.
But there Alexander still was, standing on that street, on that curb, in the sun, looking at her under the elms, looking at provenance across from him provenance in a white dress with red roses, licking her ice cream with red lips, singing. His and only his for one hundred minutes, blink of an eye and gone. It all was.”
― Paullina Simons, quote from Tatiana and Alexander

“You are still not fucking immortal, sir. And your men certainly aren’t, but I don’t give a shit about the men. It’s you we can’t replace. And I’m supposed to be here to protect you. How can you engage in hand-to-hand combat in the water when you are supposed to be in the rear? What do you think you are made of, Captain? Until just now when I saw you bleed red blood like the rest of us, I wasn’t sure.”
“It’s not my blood,” Alexander said.
“What?”
But Alexander shook his head.”
― Paullina Simons, quote from Tatiana and Alexander

“There is one moment, a moment in eternity. Before we find out the truth about one another. That simple moment is the one that propels us through life—what we felt like at the very edge of our future, standing over the abyss, before we knew for sure we loved. Before we knew for sure we loved forever. Before the dying Dasha, the dying Mama, the dying Leningrad. Before Luga. Before the divinity of Lazarevo, when the miracles you heaped upon me with your love and your body alloyed us for life. Before all that, you and I walked through the Summer Garden, and once in a while my bare arm touched your arm, and once in a while you spoke and that gave me an excuse to look up into your face, into your laughing eyes, to catch a glimpse of your mouth and I, who had never been touched, tried to imagine what it might be like to have your mouth touch me. Falling in love with you in the Summer Garden in the white nights of Leningrad is the moment that propels me through life.”
― Paullina Simons, quote from Tatiana and Alexander

“The feeling he had had all his young life - that he was brought on this earth for something special - had not left Alexander, not quite; what it did was dissipate inside him, became translucent in his blood vessels. It no longer pulsed through his body. He was no longer filled with a sense of purpose as he traveled through his adolescence. He was filled with a sense of despair.

My childhood was good, he thought. And my adolescence - I could have lived through it all. I could have lived through it all if only I continued to have the feeling that at the end of childhood, at the end of adolescence, there was something else in this life that would be mine, that I could make with my bare hands, and once I had made it, I could say, I did this to my life. I made my life so.

Hope.

It was gone from Alexander on this sunny crisp Sunday, and the feeling of purpose had vanished, was vanquished in his veins.”
― Paullina Simons, quote from Tatiana and Alexander

“Each
day brought just another minute of the things they could not leave behind. Jane Barrington sitting on the
train coming back to Leningrad from Moscow, holding on to her son, knowing she had failed him, crying
for Alexander, wanting another drink, and Harold, in his prison cell, crying for Alexander, and Yuri
Stepanov on his stomach in the mud in Finland, crying for Alexander, and Dasha in the truck, on the
Ladoga ice, crying for Alexander, and Tatiana on her knees in the Finland marsh, screaming for
Alexander, and Anthony, alone with his nightmares, crying for his father.”
― Paullina Simons, quote from Tatiana and Alexander

“The Bronze Horseman would pursue her into her grave. She felt it. Into her eternity, clambering behind her in the night and in the day, in every hour of sorrow, in every minute of weakness, in darkness, in light, through all of America he would be rattling at her heels, the way he had been relentlessly rattling at her through the past eleven hundred days, through the past eleven hundred nights, right into her maddening dust. How much longer for Tatiana's life?”
― Paullina Simons, quote from Tatiana and Alexander

“The days of idealism had gone. Only life was left.”
― Paullina Simons, quote from Tatiana and Alexander

“He had his one life. In June 1942 he went to Lazarevo holding it in his hands. By the shores of the Kama, he found her gorgeous and restored, and not just restored to her original shining brilliance but enlarged and clarified. Light reflected off her, no matter which way she turned. They ran down to the almighty river. She never even looked back. She would never know what it meant to him, an unremitting sinner, after all the unsacred things he had seen and done, to have her innocence. He held her to him. He had dreamed of it too long, touching her. Dreamed of seeing her naked too long, beautiful, bare, ready for him. He was afraid to hurt her. He had never been with an untouched girl before; he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to do something first. In the end, he did nothing first, but she baptized him with her body. There was no Alexander anymore; the man he knew had died and was reborn inside a perfect heart, given to him straight from God, to him and for him.”
― Paullina Simons, quote from Tatiana and Alexander

“During the day she carried her boy, bandaged and fed the wounded, leaving her own festering wounds until night-time when she licked them and nursed them, and remembered the pines and the fish and the river and the ase and the woods and the fire and the blueberries and the smell of cigarette smoke and the loud laughter coming from one male throat.”
― Paullina Simons, quote from Tatiana and Alexander

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