Quotes from Barney's Version

Mordecai Richler ·  416 pages

Rating: (8.1K votes)


“I don't hold with shamans, witch doctors, or psychiatrists. Shakespeare, Tolstoy, or even Dickens, understood more about the human condition than ever occurred to any of you. You overrated bunch of charlatans deal with the grammar of human problems, and the writers I've mentioned with the essence.”
― Mordecai Richler, quote from Barney's Version


“In a nutshell, I am not unaware of my failings. Neither am I a stranger to irony.”
― Mordecai Richler, quote from Barney's Version


“Bad days my memory functions no better than an out-of-focus kaleidoscope, but other days me recall is painfully perfect.”
― Mordecai Richler, quote from Barney's Version


“...if I were an angel of the Lord, I would mark the doors of each of my children's homes with an X, so that plague and misfortune would pass over them. Alas, I lack the qualifications. So when there was still world and time enough I fretted. I nagged. I corrected. I got everything wrong.”
― Mordecai Richler, quote from Barney's Version


“When a child is born, I once explained to the kids, some dads lay down bottles of wine for them that will mature when they grow up into ungrateful adults. Instead, what you're going to get from me, as each of you turns sixteen, is a library of the one hundred books that gave me the most pleasure when I was a know-nothing adolescent.”
― Mordecai Richler, quote from Barney's Version



“E' un meccanismo difensivo, sai. Tu sei sicuro che uno che non ti ha mai visto ti considererebbe un pezzo di merda, e quindi cerchi di anticiparlo. Rilassati ragazzino. Quando ti conosceranno meglio capiranno che avevano ragione: sei proprio un pezzo di merda.”
― Mordecai Richler, quote from Barney's Version


“Following the death of his wife, Sam Johnson wrote to the Reverend Mr. Thomas Warton, "I have ever since seemed to myself broken off from mankind; a kind of solitary wanderer in the wilds of life, without any certain direction, or fixed point of view: a gloomy gazer on a world to which I have little relation."
But my wife wasn't dead, merely absent.”
― Mordecai Richler, quote from Barney's Version


“But the truth is, nothing delights me more than a biography of one of the truly great that proves he or she was an absolute shit.”
― Mordecai Richler, quote from Barney's Version


“We could never agree about Boogie and I didn't share Miriam's reverence for professors. In fact, just in case I haven't mentioned it before, the pride of my office wall is my framed high-school graduation certificate, lit from above. Miriam has reproached me for it. "Take it down, darling," she once pleaded. But it still hangs there.”
― Mordecai Richler, quote from Barney's Version


“The truth is Canada is a cloud-cuckoo-land, an insufferably rich country governed by idiots, its self-made problems offering comic relief to the ills of the real world out there, where famine and racial strife and vandals in office are the unhappy rule.”
― Mordecai Richler, quote from Barney's Version



“But I hate being a grandfather. It's indecent. In my mind's eye, I'm still twenty-five. Thirty-three max. Certainly not sixty-seven, reeking of decay and dashed hopes. My breath sour. My limbs in dire need of a lube job. And now that I've been blessed with a plastic hip-socket replacement, I'm no longer even biodegradable. Environmentalists will protest my burial.”
― Mordecai Richler, quote from Barney's Version


“And what if Miriam and I were never to be reconciled?”
― Mordecai Richler, quote from Barney's Version


“There's no such thing as a superhuman. But the only thing I got to tell you, if you take a dog and kick him around he's got to be alert, he's got to be more sharper than you. Well, we've been kicked around for two thousand years. We're not more smarter, we're more alert.”
― Mordecai Richler, quote from Barney's Version


“All the same, it strikes me as unfair that I still have to defend myself against her moral judgements. My continuing need for her approbation is pathetic. Twice now I have stopped myself on the street to remonstrate with her, a crazy old coot talking to himself.”
― Mordecai Richler, quote from Barney's Version


“Posso querelare per diffamazione un tizio che mi accusa nero su bianco di avere picchiato mia moglie, di essere un plagiario, uno spacciatore, un alcolizzato con tendenze violente, e con tutta probabilità anche un assassino?"
"Non saprei. Mi sembra che il tizio sia piuttosto bene informato".”
― Mordecai Richler, quote from Barney's Version



“...I thought, breaking into a sweat, I'd better call Saul. I owe Kate an apology... Damn damn damn.”
― Mordecai Richler, quote from Barney's Version


“In those olden times you didn't have to be a space scientist to manage the gadget that flicked your TV on and off, that ridiculous thingamabob that now comes with twenty push buttons, God knows what for. Doctors made house calls. Rabbis were guys. Kids were raised by their moms instead of in child-care pens like piglets. Software meant haberdashery.”
― Mordecai Richler, quote from Barney's Version


“«C'è chi colleziona francobolli, o scatole di fiammiferi» mi ha detto una volta. «Tu collezioni rancori».”
― Mordecai Richler, quote from Barney's Version


“Do you think she'd mind if, after the dinner, I slipped out for an hour and maybe caught the third period in the Forum?'
'Brides tend to be touchy about things like that.”
― Mordecai Richler, quote from Barney's Version


“You're convinced that anybody who meets you for the first time will consider you a shit, so you take preventive action. Relax, boychick. When they get to know you better they will realize that they were right. You are a shit.”
― Mordecai Richler, quote from Barney's Version



“Ai miei tempi quando una donna diventava una star del cinema doveva girare in occhiali da sole e foulard, se non voleva essere fermata ogni due metri; adesso basta che si vesta.”
― Mordecai Richler, quote from Barney's Version


“Credevo che per Barney esistessi solo tu. Almeno questo è quello che dicono tutti. Senti, ambasciator non porta pena, ma secondo me non bisogna mai essere le ultime a sapere, e guarda che parlo per esperienza personale. Dorothy Weaver - tu non la conosci, ma non importa - lo ha visto mercoledì scorso al cocktail dei Johnson. E insomma, il tuo devoto maritino si era appiccicato ad una tizia. Le parlava fitto fitto, le sussurrava paroline all'orecchio. A un certo punto le ha persino massaggiato la schiena, e poi se ne sono andati insieme".
"Non mi dici niente di nuovo".
"Meno male, perchè l'ultima cosa al mondo che volevo era turbarti".
"Vedi, il punto è che quella donna ero io. Usciti dai Johnson siamo andati al Ritz, abbiamo esagerato con lo champagne, e poi - ma guai se lo racconti in giro -, poi ho accettato di andare a casa con lui”
― Mordecai Richler, quote from Barney's Version


“...and then I began to drift, fighting tears. I used to come here with Miriam. Miriam, my heart's desire. What was troubling her this morning? Maybe Kate had reproached her on the phone for leaving me? How dare Kate.
Oh yeah? Go for it, my darling. Remind her of what she's missing. No, don't.”
― Mordecai Richler, quote from Barney's Version


“Yes, carbon paper, if any of you out there are old enough to remember what that was. Why, in those days we not only used carbon paper but when you phoned somebody you actually got an answer from a human being on the other end..”
― Mordecai Richler, quote from Barney's Version


“In those olden times you didn't have to be a space scientist to manage the gadget that flicked your TV on and off... Doctors made house calls. Rabbis were guys. Kids were raised by their moms instead of in child-care pens like piglets. Software meant haberdashery. There wasn't a different dentist for gums, molars, fillings and extractions - one nerd managed the lot. If a waiter spilled hot soup on your date, the manager offered to pay her cleaning bill and sent over drinks, and she didn't sue for a kazillion dollars, claiming "loss of enjoyment of life.”
― Mordecai Richler, quote from Barney's Version



“Oh, dio mio, se fossi un angelo del Signore segnerei con una croce le porte di casa dei miei figli, in modo da tener lontano le sventure e la malattia. Purtroppo, per quell’alto incarico mi mancano i requisiti, e quando avevo ancora un ruolo nelle loro vite sono stato impaziente, critico e punitivo. Sbagliando sempre tutto.”
― Mordecai Richler, quote from Barney's Version


“C'è stato un tempo in cui osavo sognare che Miriam e io, superati i
novanta, saremmo spirati insieme, come Filemone e Bauci. E allora un
munifico Zeus, con un lieve tocco del caduceo, ci avrebbe trasformato in
due alberi vicini, coi rami che si sfiorano d'inverno, le foglie che si
intrecciano a primavera.”
― Mordecai Richler, quote from Barney's Version


Video

About the author

Mordecai Richler
Born place: in Montreal, Canada
Born date January 27, 1931
See more on GoodReads

Popular quotes

“Tale-bearers are as bad as the tale-makers.”
― Richard Brinsley Sheridan, quote from The School for Scandal


“Joe!” he groaned, attempting to speak clearly. “Joe! Good ol’ Joe!”
“Captain, you’re drunk!” Lofflin said, stating the obvious while trying to keep his voice level. Blaine grinned at him lopsidedly and giggled, almost choking. He slapped the table, knocking his empty glass over.
“Ye-ss, I am! Don’t ssup-pose you – think I co-uld ssit here an’ calmly wait t’die – dýou? Weee-ll, not ssob-er anyway. Ha ha ha.”
Disgust and hopelessness were swelling inside him. He felt like punching that drunken face till it was either sober or unconscious.
“Damn it, Captain! We need you – the crew needs you! You’re turning your back on them – in our most desperate time!”
― Christina Engela, quote from Demonspawn


“There are more than 150 references to the fear of God in the Bible.6 While the majority of these occur in the Old Testament, there are a sufficient number in the New Testament to convince us that fearing God is indeed an attitude of heart we should cultivate today.”
― Jerry Bridges, quote from The Joy of Fearing God


“And what if you could go back in time and take all those hours of sorrow and insanity and replace them with something better?”
― Rebecca McNutt, quote from Mandy and Alecto: The Collected Smog City Book Series


“I love the fact that I've know you all my life. It feels just right when you're beside me. It feels like I've been lost in the desert for years, and ... I've finally come home.”
― Rachel Morgan, quote from The Faerie Prince


Interesting books

Want Not
(2.6K)
Want Not
by Jonathan Miles
Mended
(3.8K)
Mended
by J.L. Drake
Son of Hamas
(7.1K)
Son of Hamas
by Mosab Hassan Yousef
Ignited Minds
(8.3K)
Ignited Minds
by A.P.J. Abdul Kalam
Mossad: The Greatest Missions of the Israeli Secret Service
(5.8K)
Mossad: The Greatest...
by Michael Bar-Zohar
Air Bound
(5.2K)
Air Bound
by Christine Feehan

About BookQuoters

BookQuoters is a community of passionate readers who enjoy sharing the most meaningful, memorable and interesting quotes from great books. As the world communicates more and more via texts, memes and sound bytes, short but profound quotes from books have become more relevant and important. For some of us a quote becomes a mantra, a goal or a philosophy by which we live. For all of us, quotes are a great way to remember a book and to carry with us the author’s best ideas.

We thoughtfully gather quotes from our favorite books, both classic and current, and choose the ones that are most thought-provoking. Each quote represents a book that is interesting, well written and has potential to enhance the reader’s life. We also accept submissions from our visitors and will select the quotes we feel are most appealing to the BookQuoters community.

Founded in 2023, BookQuoters has quickly become a large and vibrant community of people who share an affinity for books. Books are seen by some as a throwback to a previous world; conversely, gleaning the main ideas of a book via a quote or a quick summary is typical of the Information Age but is a habit disdained by some diehard readers. We feel that we have the best of both worlds at BookQuoters; we read books cover-to-cover but offer you some of the highlights. We hope you’ll join us.