Quotes from Tales of Sex & Suburban Lunacy

Helen Argiro ·  255 pages

Rating: (87 votes)


“No wonder there are so many people with eating disorders.It’s like this diet plan is being administered by the Gestapo.”
― Helen Argiro, quote from Tales of Sex & Suburban Lunacy


“To a woman, being married means you do not under any circumstances put your penis in another woman’s vagina. It also means no blowjobs, no oral, no anal, no phone sex, no sex of any kind, ever, with anyone other than your wife for as long as you’re married. As soon as you say ‘I do’, it means that where other women are concern ‘I don’t’ is the only correct response. If you play by these rules, you’re safe. If you don’t, we leave. It’s really that simple.”
― Helen Argiro, quote from Tales of Sex & Suburban Lunacy


“When a guy says he's a 'simple man', what he's really telling you is he's cheap.”
― Helen Argiro, quote from Tales of Sex & Suburban Lunacy


“In the suburbs lust thrives and flourishes like an epidemic of lawn grubs during a heat wave.”
― Helen Argiro, quote from Tales of Sex & Suburban Lunacy


“Having sex with your neighbour is not a good idea. Not under any circumstances, nothing good will come of it. It’s a cliché. It’s a soap opera. It’s a bad made for TV movie.”
― Helen Argiro, quote from Tales of Sex & Suburban Lunacy



“It’s really hard to be turned on by a man who shows up for a date in corduroy pants and big white walking shoes that look as though he’s shoved his feet inside of two giant pillows.”
― Helen Argiro, quote from Tales of Sex & Suburban Lunacy


“And so it was on the second Thursday of September, these five men kissed their spouses and children good-bye and climbed aboard the rented RV for a fun filled weekend of golfing, drinking, taking drugs and having sex with women who were not their wives.”
― Helen Argiro, quote from Tales of Sex & Suburban Lunacy


“When a guy says he’s ‘a simple man’ what he’s really telling you is he’s cheap," Madeline said.”
― Helen Argiro, quote from Tales of Sex & Suburban Lunacy


About the author

Helen Argiro
Born place: Toronto, Canada
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BookQuoters is a community of passionate readers who enjoy sharing the most meaningful, memorable and interesting quotes from great books. As the world communicates more and more via texts, memes and sound bytes, short but profound quotes from books have become more relevant and important. For some of us a quote becomes a mantra, a goal or a philosophy by which we live. For all of us, quotes are a great way to remember a book and to carry with us the author’s best ideas.

We thoughtfully gather quotes from our favorite books, both classic and current, and choose the ones that are most thought-provoking. Each quote represents a book that is interesting, well written and has potential to enhance the reader’s life. We also accept submissions from our visitors and will select the quotes we feel are most appealing to the BookQuoters community.

Founded in 2023, BookQuoters has quickly become a large and vibrant community of people who share an affinity for books. Books are seen by some as a throwback to a previous world; conversely, gleaning the main ideas of a book via a quote or a quick summary is typical of the Information Age but is a habit disdained by some diehard readers. We feel that we have the best of both worlds at BookQuoters; we read books cover-to-cover but offer you some of the highlights. We hope you’ll join us.