Quotes from Tales of Sex & Suburban Lunacy

Helen Argiro ·  255 pages

Rating: (87 votes)


“No wonder there are so many people with eating disorders.It’s like this diet plan is being administered by the Gestapo.”
― Helen Argiro, quote from Tales of Sex & Suburban Lunacy


“To a woman, being married means you do not under any circumstances put your penis in another woman’s vagina. It also means no blowjobs, no oral, no anal, no phone sex, no sex of any kind, ever, with anyone other than your wife for as long as you’re married. As soon as you say ‘I do’, it means that where other women are concern ‘I don’t’ is the only correct response. If you play by these rules, you’re safe. If you don’t, we leave. It’s really that simple.”
― Helen Argiro, quote from Tales of Sex & Suburban Lunacy


“When a guy says he's a 'simple man', what he's really telling you is he's cheap.”
― Helen Argiro, quote from Tales of Sex & Suburban Lunacy


“In the suburbs lust thrives and flourishes like an epidemic of lawn grubs during a heat wave.”
― Helen Argiro, quote from Tales of Sex & Suburban Lunacy


“Having sex with your neighbour is not a good idea. Not under any circumstances, nothing good will come of it. It’s a cliché. It’s a soap opera. It’s a bad made for TV movie.”
― Helen Argiro, quote from Tales of Sex & Suburban Lunacy



“It’s really hard to be turned on by a man who shows up for a date in corduroy pants and big white walking shoes that look as though he’s shoved his feet inside of two giant pillows.”
― Helen Argiro, quote from Tales of Sex & Suburban Lunacy


“And so it was on the second Thursday of September, these five men kissed their spouses and children good-bye and climbed aboard the rented RV for a fun filled weekend of golfing, drinking, taking drugs and having sex with women who were not their wives.”
― Helen Argiro, quote from Tales of Sex & Suburban Lunacy


“When a guy says he’s ‘a simple man’ what he’s really telling you is he’s cheap," Madeline said.”
― Helen Argiro, quote from Tales of Sex & Suburban Lunacy


About the author

Helen Argiro
Born place: Toronto, Canada
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Popular quotes

“Many references have been made in this book to 'the reader,' who has been much in the news. It is now necessary to warn you that your concern for the reader must be pure: you must sympathize with the reader's plight (most readers are in trouble about half the time) but never seek to know the reader's wants. Your whole duty as a writer is to please and satisfy yourself, and the true writer always plays to an audience of one. Start sniffing the air, or glancing at the Trend Machine, and you are as good as dead, although you may make a nice living.”
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― Sylvia Plath, quote from The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath


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― Jeff Kinney, quote from Cabin Fever


“Ja sam pesnica koja je udarila u zid.
Ja sam udarac koji boli onog koji udara.
Ja sam pijesak pod njihovim nogama, ptica što zanijemi kad kobac nadleti šumu, glista koju kokoš kljucne, kad izađe iz svojih podzemnih hodnika.
Ja sam mali čovjek koji je zaboravio da je mali. Uvrijedio sam ih što se usuđujem da mislim.
Zašto im treba ta osveta? Da me uplaše? Da mojom kaznom uplaše druge? Da likuju nad slabim? Da zabrane misao? Da zabrane riječ? Nikakva odgovora nisam mogao da nađem. Javio se u meni užas zbog te besmislene surovosti. Gdje smo mi? U kakvom to svijetu živimo?”
― Meša Selimović, quote from The Fortress


“It’s getting closer,” Tristan said.
Ayden nodded.
“So let’s track it.”
“No,” Ayden snapped. “She’s our priority.”
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The itching intensified. Invisible claws grazed up the back of my neck, wrenching every nerve to painful attention. Another hungry screech sent spikes piercing my brain. Lights shattered my vision. I couldn’t breathe. I burst out of the suffocating space just as the engine roared to life and gunned the car forward.
With a violent curse, Ayden slammed on the brakes but not before the Maserati rammed my hip. I hurtled into the air and rolled a fast spin onto the hood.
“Or you could just hit her with the car,” Tristan said.
“Real smooth.”
― A.E. Kirk, quote from Demons at Deadnight


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