Helen Argiro · 255 pages
Rating: (87 votes)
“No wonder there are so many people with eating disorders.It’s like this diet plan is being administered by the Gestapo.”
― Helen Argiro, quote from Tales of Sex & Suburban Lunacy
“To a woman, being married means you do not under any circumstances put your penis in another woman’s vagina. It also means no blowjobs, no oral, no anal, no phone sex, no sex of any kind, ever, with anyone other than your wife for as long as you’re married. As soon as you say ‘I do’, it means that where other women are concern ‘I don’t’ is the only correct response. If you play by these rules, you’re safe. If you don’t, we leave. It’s really that simple.”
― Helen Argiro, quote from Tales of Sex & Suburban Lunacy
“When a guy says he's a 'simple man', what he's really telling you is he's cheap.”
― Helen Argiro, quote from Tales of Sex & Suburban Lunacy
“In the suburbs lust thrives and flourishes like an epidemic of lawn grubs during a heat wave.”
― Helen Argiro, quote from Tales of Sex & Suburban Lunacy
“Having sex with your neighbour is not a good idea. Not under any circumstances, nothing good will come of it. It’s a cliché. It’s a soap opera. It’s a bad made for TV movie.”
― Helen Argiro, quote from Tales of Sex & Suburban Lunacy
“It’s really hard to be turned on by a man who shows up for a date in corduroy pants and big white walking shoes that look as though he’s shoved his feet inside of two giant pillows.”
― Helen Argiro, quote from Tales of Sex & Suburban Lunacy
“And so it was on the second Thursday of September, these five men kissed their spouses and children good-bye and climbed aboard the rented RV for a fun filled weekend of golfing, drinking, taking drugs and having sex with women who were not their wives.”
― Helen Argiro, quote from Tales of Sex & Suburban Lunacy
“When a guy says he’s ‘a simple man’ what he’s really telling you is he’s cheap," Madeline said.”
― Helen Argiro, quote from Tales of Sex & Suburban Lunacy
Helen Argiro
Born place: Toronto, Canada
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“Read, read, read. That's all I can say.”
― quote from The Secret of the Old Clock
“You’re choosing to let life control you, instead of the other way around. That’s the big secret. You choose the kind of life you want to live.”
― Nicholas Sparks, quote from Three Weeks With My Brother
“You got to learn to take what people are willing to give.”
― Christina Baker Kline, quote from Orphan Train
“Oh, Wax has always been solemn, but when he's at his best, there's a smirk underneath.”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from The Alloy of Law
“Mr. Edwards admired the well-built, pleasant house and heartily enjoyed the good dinner. But he said he was going on West with the train when it pulled out. Pa could not persuade him to stay longer.
"I'm aiming to go far West in the spring," he said. "This here, country, it's too settled up for me. The politicians are a-swarming in already, and ma'am if'n there's any worse pest than grasshoppers it surely is politicians. Why, they'll tax the lining out'n a man's pockets to keep up these here county-seat towns..."
"Feller come along and taxed me last summer. Told me I got to put in every last thing I had. So I put in Tom and Jerry, my horses, at fifty dollars apiece, and my oxen yoke, Buck and Bright, I put in at fifty, and my cow at thirty five.
'Is that all you got?' he says. Well I told him I'd put in five children I reckoned was worth a dollar apiece.
'Is that all?' he says. 'How about your wife?' he says.
'By Mighty!' I says to him. 'She says I don't own her and I don't aim to pay no taxes on her,' I says. And I didn't.”
― Laura Ingalls Wilder, quote from The Long Winter
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