Quotes from Practice Makes Perfect

“I've been in love with you since the very beginning. You asked why there isn't anyone else in my life, and the reason... is you.”
― Julie James, quote from Practice Makes Perfect

“I would have done it for you in a heartbeat”
― Julie James, quote from Practice Makes Perfect

“We're out of time, Payton. You said it yourself: the only way we'll make it is for us to go into this together. I know we can do this. But I need you to believe it. You need to believe... in us."

Peyton didn't say anything for a long moment, and J.D. could literally hear his heart beating. Then she finally answered.

"It would have to be called Kendall and Jameson."

It took J.D a moment to catch on. Then he grinned. "No way. Jameson and Kendall. It's alphabetical."

"You told our boss that you banged me on top of your desk."

"Kendall and Jameson sounds great”
― Julie James, quote from Practice Makes Perfect

“What? I took it because of the girls in the class. Anyway, I see a bit of a P and P dynamic going on between you and Payton."

J.D. didn't think he wanted to know. Really. But he asked anyway. "P and P?"

Tyler shot him a look, appalled. "Uh, hello--Pride and Prejudice?" His tone said only a cretin wouldn't know this.

"Oh right, P and P," J.D. said. "You know, Tyler, you might want to pick up your balls--I think they just fell right off when you said that.”
― Julie James, quote from Practice Makes Perfect

“I think that you are an uptight, pony-owning, trickle-down-economics-loving, Scotch-on-the-rocks-drinking, my-wife-better-take-my-last-name sexist jerk!”
― Julie James, quote from Practice Makes Perfect

“Well, at least I’m not a stubborn, button-pushing, Prius-driving, chip-on-your-shoulder-holding, ‘stay-at-home-mom’-is-the-eighth-dirty-word-thinking feminazi!”
― Julie James, quote from Practice Makes Perfect

“The bastard—no other name was necessary, from now on the man formerly known as J.D. would simply be called The Bastard, The Prick, or The Shithead.”
― Julie James, quote from Practice Makes Perfect

“J.D. scoffed at this. “Please—as if I’m worried about anything Payton has to say. What’s she going to do, give me another one of her little pissed-off hair flips?” He flung imaginary long hair off his shoulders, exaggerating. “I’ll tell you, one of these days I’m going to grab her by that hair and . . .” He gestured as if throttling someone.
Without breaking stride, he returned Tyler’s serve. The two smashed a few back and forth, concentrating on the game when—
Is violence always part of your sexual fantasies?” Tyler interjected.
J.D. whipped around—
Sexual—?”
—and got hit smack in the face with the squash ball. He toppled back and sprawled ungracefully across the court.
Tyler stepped over and twirled his racquet. “This is nice. We should talk like this more often.”
― Julie James, quote from Practice Makes Perfect

“Raise your hand if you had no idea you’d see so much nudity in one week of jury duty.”
Twelve hands flew straight into the air.
And unbelievably, Payton laughed.”
― Julie James, quote from Practice Makes Perfect

“J.D. cleared his throat and pushed the button on the intercom.

“Uh, Payton, hi. It’s J.D.”

Dead silence.

Then another crackle.

“Sorry. Not interested.”

Cute. But J.D. persisted. Again with the button.

“I want to talk to you.”

Crackle.

“Ever hear of a telephone, asshole?”

Okay, he probably deserved that.”
― Julie James, quote from Practice Makes Perfect

“Never send a boy to do a woman’s job, Irma.” - Payton Kendall”
― Julie James, quote from Practice Makes Perfect

“I’m not sure I trust myself around you I liked you from the start, J.D. I really wish things had been different, that's all.”
― Julie James, quote from Practice Makes Perfect

“Holy fuck—would somebody please tell him why a massive photo of a penis was sitting front and center in the courtroom?”
― Julie James, quote from Practice Makes Perfect

“See you just don’t understand women the way I do J.D. They want it all: a career apple martinis financial independence great shoes but at the same time—and this they’ll never admit—they are drawn to patriarchal men who are dominant and controlling. That’s the essence of the Darcy complex. He may be an asshole but he’s an asshole that gets the girl in the end.”
― Julie James, quote from Practice Makes Perfect

“maybe you’re sleeping and I suppose I could just say this in the morning, but now I can’t sleep and I’m just lying here so I might as well get it over with, and well . . .I’m sorry about this afternoon, J.D. The first spill honestly was an accident, but the second . . . okay, that was completely uncalled for. I’m, um, happy to pay for the dry cleaning. And, well . . . I guess that’s it. Although you really might want to rethink leaving your jacket on your chair. I’m just saying. Okay, then. That’s what they make hangers for. Good. Fine. Good-bye.”

J.D. heard the beep, signaling the end of the message, and he hung up the phone. He thought about what Payton had said—not so much her apology, which was question-ably mediocre at best—but something else.

She thought about him while lying in bed.

Interesting.

Later that night, having been asleep for a few hours, J.D. shot up in bed

He suddenly remembered—her shoe.
Oops.”
― Julie James, quote from Practice Makes Perfect

“J.D. nodded. Yes, yes, fine, thank you. Nice attitude, by the way. Like boss, like secretary.”
― Julie James, quote from Practice Makes Perfect

“Then she would be done with J. D. Jameson forever. No more having to prove herself; no more of those pesky jitters she felt whenever she saw him at work—something like butterflies in her stomach, it was actually quite annoying; no more stress; no more fights in the library; and definitely no more sexy I’m-gonna-kiss-you-now-woman blue-eyed heated gazes.

She had no idea why she just thought that.”
― Julie James, quote from Practice Makes Perfect

“Then I should be able to say anything I want, right? Even the word ‘penis’?”
Laney sighed. “Do we have to do this right now?”
You should try saying the word sometime.”
I’ll pass, thank you.”
Payton shrugged. “Your choice, but I think you’d find it liberating. Everybody could use a good ‘penis’ now and then.”
Laney glanced nervously around the coffee shop. “People are listening.”
Sorry—you’re right. Good rule of thumb: if you’re gonna throw out a ‘penis’ in a public place, it should be soft. Otherwise it attracts too much attention.”
The woman at the next table gaped at them.”
― Julie James, quote from Practice Makes Perfect

“Now anyone who has ever been on a blind date is well familiar with “The Moment”—that moment where you first walk into the bar or restaurant or coffee shop and scan the crowd and suddenly your heart stops and you say to yourself: oh, please—let it be him.”
― Julie James, quote from Practice Makes Perfect

“I’m a bit of a novice myself.” She smiled. Then she turned back to Jasper. “And please, call me Payton.”
Like one of my favorite quarterbacks,” Jasper grinned.
Only with an a instead of an e. And slightly fewer yards in passing,” Payton said. Damn—now she’d already blown one of the three measly sports references she knew in the first two minutes.
Jasper laughed. “Slightly fewer yards in passing—I like that.” He turned to J.D., gesturing to Payton. “Where have you been hidin’ this girl, J.D.?”
― Julie James, quote from Practice Makes Perfect

“She looked for the deposition transcript she had dropped, she turned around and—

—the entire audience in the galley cried out in shock.

Unbeknownst to Payton, when she had fallen her skirt—those damn slim-fit skirts she liked so much—had torn at the seam and now gaped open, and sweet Jesus, she was wearing a thong and two tiny white butt cheeks peeked out from between the folds of her skirt—

J.D.’s jaw nearly hit the floor.”
― Julie James, quote from Practice Makes Perfect

“In the business world, what’s
the female equivalent of going golfing with a client?”
Laney gave this some thought. Payton fell silent, too, contemplating. After a few moments, neither of them could come up with anything.
How depressing.
Payton sighed, feigning resignation. “Well, that’s it. I guess I’ll just have to sleep with them.”
Laney folded her hands primly on the table. “I think I’m uncomfortable with this conversation.”
― Julie James, quote from Practice Makes Perfect

“Score one for Team Kendall, Payton thought.
Not that it was a competition between them.
Not at all.”
― Julie James, quote from Practice Makes Perfect

“The shower trick. Let's hear it, Kendall”
― Julie James, quote from Practice Makes Perfect

“It’s also quite possible she still detests me.”

Tyler dismissed this with a wave. “You’re going to let a thing like that stop you?”

“I was thinking intense despisement might be an obstacle in pursuing her, yes.”

“No, see, that’s what makes it all the more interesting,” Tyler said. He adopted a grandly dramatic tone. “‘Does our fair Ms. Kendall truly loathe the arrogant Mr. Jameson as she so ardently proclaims, or is it all just a charade to cover more amorous feelings for a man she reluctantly admires?’”

Up front, the cabdriver snorted loudly. He appeared to be enjoying the show.

“Psych 101 again?” J.D. asked.

Tyler shook his head. “Lit 305: Eighteenth-Century Women’s Fiction.” He caughtJ.D.’s look and quickly defended himself. “What? I took it because of the girls in the class. Anyway, I see a bit of a P and P dynamic going on between you and Payton.”

J.D. didn’t think he wanted to know. Really. But he asked anyway. “P and P?”

Tyler shot him a look, appalled. “Uh, hello—Pride and Prejudice?” His tone said only a cretin wouldn’t know this.

“Oh right, P and P,” J.D. said. “You know, Tyler, you might want to pick up your balls—I think they just fell right off when you said that.”

Up front, the cabdriver let out a good snicker.”
― Julie James, quote from Practice Makes Perfect

“Good. Or instead, what if I just told you that I love you?” Payton gazed
into his eyes. “What would you say, J. D. Jameson, if I told you that?”
J.D. smiled. He touched his forehead to Payton’s, closed his eyes, and
answered her with one word.
“Finally.”
― Julie James, quote from Practice Makes Perfect

“Laney held up a hand. "I checked it out. He went there on scholarship and paid the rest with student loans. And he's good looking, too. Nate and I met him for dinner last night, and I subtly learned that he's looking to meet someone"

"How did you learn that?"

"I asked him if he was looking to meet someone"

"that is subtle”
― Julie James, quote from Practice Makes Perfect

“Sweet Jesus.
It was The Delicious in the dark shirt and jeans.”
― Julie James, quote from Practice Makes Perfect

“Hey, how 'bout those Cubs'"-the bad male impersonation was back-" 'let's play some golf, smoke some cigars. Here's my penis, there's yours-yep, they appear to be about the same size-okay, lets's do some deals.”
― Julie James, quote from Practice Makes Perfect

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