“It was sad, like those businessmen who came to work in serious clothes but wore colorful ties in a mad, desperate attempt to show there was a free spirit in there somewhere.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Making Money
“A weapon you held and didn't know how to use belonged to your enemy.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Making Money
“Watching a dog try to chew a large piece of toffee is a pastime fit for gods. Mr. Fusspot's mixed ancestry had given him a dexterity of jaw that was truly awesome. He somersaulted happily around the floor, making faces like a rubber gargoyle in a washing machine.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Making Money
“Students, eh? Love 'em or hate 'em, you can't hit them with a shovel!”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Making Money
“I wouldn't trust you with a bucket of water if my knickers were on fire!”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Making Money
“And what had he wanted? He'd never sat down to think about it. But mostly, he wanted yesterday to be different from today.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Making Money
“People don't like change. But make the change fast enough and you go from one type of normal to another.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Making Money
“You get a wonderful view from the point of no return.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Making Money
“The only really sane person in there is Igor, and possibly the turnip. And I'm not sure about the turnip.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Making Money
“But what's worth more than gold?"
"Practically everything. You, for example. Gold is heavy. Your weight in gold is not very much gold at all. Aren't you worth more than that?”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Making Money
“Building a temple didn't mean you believed in gods, it just meant you believed in architecture.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Making Money
“He sighed. It had come to this. He was a responsible authority, and people could use terms like "core values" at him with impunity. ”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Making Money
“Whole new theories of money were growing here like mushrooms: in the dark and based on bullshit.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Making Money
“Mr Lipwig, there's a lady in the hall to see you and we've thanked her for not smoking three times and she's still doing it!”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Making Money
“They were indeed what was known as 'old money', which meant that it had been made so long ago that the black deeds which had originally filled the coffers were now historically irrelevant. Funny, that: a brigand for a father was something you kept quiet about, but a slave-taking pirate for a great-great-great-grandfather was something to boast of over the port. Time turned the evil bastards into rogues, and rogue was a word with a twinkle in its eye and nothing to be ashamed of.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Making Money
“This looks like a job for inadvisably applied magic if ever I saw one.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Making Money
“You're not going to tell me they built fifty-foot-high killer golems, are you?"
"Only a man would think of that.
It's our job," said Moist. "If you don't think of fifty-foot-high killer golems first, someone else will.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Making Money
“Igor?' said Moist. 'You have an Igor?'
Oh, yes,' said Hubert. 'That's how I get this wonderful light. They know the secret of storing lightning in jars! But don't let that worry you, Mr Lipspick. Just because I'm employing an Igor and working in a cellar doesn't mean I'm some sort of madman, ha ha ha!'
Ha ha,' agreed Moist.
Ha hah hah!,' said Hubert. 'Hahahahahaha!! Ahahahahahahhhhh!!!!!-'
Bent slapped him on the back. Hubert coughed.
Sorry about that, it's the air down here,' he mumbled.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Making Money
“Is that all, sir? Only we've got stuff to finish before our knocking-off time, you see, and if we stay late we have to make more money to pay our overtime, and if the lads is a bit tired we ends up earning the money faster'n we can make it, which leads to a bit of what I can only call a conundrum—"
"You mean that if you do overtime you have to do more overtime to pay for it?" said Moist, still pondering how illogical logical thinking can be if a big enough committee is doing it.
"That's right, sir," said Shady. "And down that road madness lies."
"It's a very short road," said Moist, nodding.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Making Money
“There was no himself in himself.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Making Money
“Why are you always in such a hurry, Mr. Lipwig?”
“Because people don’t like change. But make the change happen fast enough and you go from one type of normal to another.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Making Money
“The dark moppets of dread played their paranoid hopscotch across Moist's inner eyeballs. ”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Making Money
“I'm an Igor, thur. We don't athk quethtionth."
"Really? Why not?"
"I don't know, thur. I didn't athk.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Making Money
“The gods help those who help themselves, and my word, didn't I help myself.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Making Money
“The Igor position on prayer is that it is nothing more than hope with a beat to it.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Making Money
“The dark organ music filled the Department of Post-Mortem Communications. Moist assumed it was all part of the ambience, although the mood would have been more precisely obtained if the tune it was playing did not appear to be Cantate and Fugue for someone Who Has Trouble with the Pedals.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Making Money
“He’d forgotten the ancient wisdom: take care, when you are closely observing, that you are not closely observed.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Making Money
“They are tragic,' said Vetinari, 'and we laugh at their tragedy as we laugh at our own. The painted grin leers out at us from the darkness, mocking our insane belief in order, logic, status, the reality of reality. The mask knows that we are born on the banana skin that leads only to the open manhole cover of doom, and all we can hope for are the cheers of the crowd.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Making Money
“Just because I'm employing an Igor and working in a cellar doesn't mean I'm some sort of madman, ha ha ha!”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Making Money
Terry Pratchett
Born place: in Beaconsfield, Buckinghamshire, England, The United Kingdom
Born date April 28, 1948
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“My affection hath an unknown bottom, like the Bay of Portugal.”
― William Shakespeare, quote from As You Like It
“Revenge is like politics, one thing always leads to another until bad has become worse, and worse has become worst.”
― Jonas Jonasson, quote from The Hundred-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out of the Window and Disappeared
“Submit! Juliet's Joy screeches underneath him at no one in particular.
"I've got to get a new horse," the Mayor mutters.”
― Patrick Ness, quote from Monsters of Men
“Take up a weapon and you become an instrument with as pure a purpose as the weapon itself: to find arteries and open them, limbs and sever them; to take what is alive and deliver it unto death.”
― Laini Taylor, quote from Days of Blood & Starlight
“People often believed they were safer in the light, thinking monsters only came out at night.”
― C.J. Roberts, quote from Captive in the Dark
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