“Babe, you've destroyed a car, burned down two buildings, stapled a guy's nuts, and you have sixteen stitches in your leg. Take a night off. Have a glass of wine, watch some television, and go to bed early."
-Ranger”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen
“When I was six years old I sprinkled sugar on my head, convinced myself it was pixie dust, wished myself invisible, and walked into the boys' bathroom at school.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen
“He's a good man," Ranger said.
"And you?"
"I'm better.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen
“Did you take Joyce's engine?'
'My instructions were to disable the car, but one of the men bet Hal a burger he couldn't get the engine out. So Hal removed the engine.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen
“Am I to assume you would rather not have us as clients?"
"Let me think about that for a nanosecond," Dickie said. "Yes! Last time you were in my office you tried to kill me."
"That's an exaggeration. Maim you, yes. Kill you, probably not."
”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen
“Ranger plays by his own set of rules, and I don't have a complete copy.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen
“I don't know much about cars," Joyce said, "but I think someone took my engine.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen
“The dancers finished thier set, and one immediately strolled over to our table and straddled Ranger.
Want a private party?" she asked.
Not tonight," Ranger said. He handed her a twenty, and she left.
What about the cat-feeding theory?" I asked him.
Out the window.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen
“Hey!" Lula yelled, back in Ranger's face. "You look at me when I'm having a breakdown. And don't pull that mysterio silent shit on me. I don't take that bus, you see what I'm saying?”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen
“He was around the desk in two strides, reaching out for me. I knocked his hand away, grabbed the staple gun, pressed it into his crotch, and bam, bam, bam, bam . . . I stapled his nuts.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen
“Ranger’s Cayenne pulled in behind the SUV. Ranger got out, scooped me up off the ground, and held me close.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen
“My instructions were to disable the car, but one of my men bet Hal a burger he couldn’t get the engine out. So Hal removed the engine.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen
“I swear, you're a crazy person. You go around up to your eyeballs in snakes and dead people and exploding beavers. It's just not normal. Even when I was a 'ho, my life wasn't that freaky.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen
“You don’t look like a cop,” I told him. “All the other guys wear suits.” “I’ve been asked by the chief not to wear a suit. I look like a casino pit boss when I wear a suit. I don’t inspire trust.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen
“Women grow up wary, and men grow up thinking they’re immortal.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen
“When I was young, I got a lot of tattoos, and now they don’t look so good. One time, I got drunk and got Eisenhower tattooed on my balls, but now he looks like Orville Redenbacher.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen
“Babe, nothing’s been happening in my bed, and no one’s going to see your underpants in this meeting unless you go goofy.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen
“Babe, you’ve destroyed a car, burned down two buildings, stapled a guy’s nuts, and you have sixteen stitches in your leg. Take a night off. Have a glass of wine, watch some television, and go to bed early.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen
“I could use some lunch.” “Do you have any money?” “No,” Lula said. “Do you?” “No.” “There’s only one thing to do then. Senior buffet.” Ten minutes later, I pulled into the Costco parking lot.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen
“knees and your shirt caught in your zipper.” “I don’t remember that part,” Dickie said. “Did I used to do that?” “Yes.” Dickie started laughing. “I wasn’t making a lot of money back then. I couldn’t afford a hotel room.” “It’s not funny!” I said. “Sure it is. Grass stains and rug burns are always funny.” He looked over at Morelli. “She didn’t like to do doggy.” Morelli slid a look at me and smiled. There wasn’t much I didn’t like”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen
“Okay, so this had all the makings of a cluster fuck, but there was a Dairy Queen Oreo Cheese-Quake Blizzard waiting for me somewhere.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen
“The doorbell rang and Grandma ran to get it. “It’s him,” she said to me. “It’s my honey.” My father got out of his chair in the living room and took his seat at the table. “I don’t care if he craps in a bag,” he said to Ranger. “I’ll give you a hundred bucks if you can scare him into marrying her and moving her into his room at the old people’s home.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen
Janet Evanovich
Born place: in South River, New Jersey, The United States
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“Quality is the best business plan.”
― Ed Catmull, quote from Creativity, Inc.: Overcoming the Unseen Forces That Stand in the Way of True Inspiration
“I tried to make each half sandwich last for three full bites, though I could easily have popped them into my mouth whole.”
― Ellen Emerson White, quote from Voyage on the Great Titanic: The Diary of Margaret Ann Brady, R.M.S. Titanic, 1912
“Evil wears many disguises, some that can be mistaken for beauty.”
― David Estes, quote from The Earth Dwellers
“Mitch thought she looked like an angel might—if the angel had fallen very hard into a very naughty position.”
― Lauren Stewart, quote from Hyde
“Whatever you are thinking, your thoughts are surely about something other than the word with which this sentence will end. But even as you hear these very words echoing in your very head, and think whatever thoughts they inspire, your brain is using the word it is reading right now and the words it read just before to make a reasonable guess about the identity of the word it will read next, which is what allows you to read so fluently.4 Any brain that has been raised on a steady diet of film noir and cheap detective novels fully expects the word night to follow the phrase It was a dark and stormy, and thus when it does encounter the word night, it is especially well prepared to digest it. As long as your brain’s guess about the next word turns out to be right, you cruise along happily, left to right, left to right, turning black squiggles into ideas, scenes, characters, and concepts, blissfully unaware that your nexting brain is predicting the future of the sentence at a fantastic rate. It is only when your brain predicts badly that you suddenly feel avocado.”
― Daniel Todd Gilbert, quote from Stumbling on Happiness
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I Am Another You: A...BookQuoters is a community of passionate readers who enjoy sharing the most meaningful, memorable and interesting quotes from great books. As the world communicates more and more via texts, memes and sound bytes, short but profound quotes from books have become more relevant and important. For some of us a quote becomes a mantra, a goal or a philosophy by which we live. For all of us, quotes are a great way to remember a book and to carry with us the author’s best ideas.
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