Quotes from Lean Mean Thirteen

“Babe, you've destroyed a car, burned down two buildings, stapled a guy's nuts, and you have sixteen stitches in your leg. Take a night off. Have a glass of wine, watch some television, and go to bed early."
-Ranger”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen

“When I was six years old I sprinkled sugar on my head, convinced myself it was pixie dust, wished myself invisible, and walked into the boys' bathroom at school.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen

“He's a good man," Ranger said.
"And you?"
"I'm better.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen

“Did you take Joyce's engine?'
'My instructions were to disable the car, but one of the men bet Hal a burger he couldn't get the engine out. So Hal removed the engine.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen

“Am I to assume you would rather not have us as clients?"

"Let me think about that for a nanosecond," Dickie said. "Yes! Last time you were in my office you tried to kill me."

"That's an exaggeration. Maim you, yes. Kill you, probably not."
”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen

“Ranger plays by his own set of rules, and I don't have a complete copy.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen

“I don't know much about cars," Joyce said, "but I think someone took my engine.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen

“The dancers finished thier set, and one immediately strolled over to our table and straddled Ranger.
Want a private party?" she asked.
Not tonight," Ranger said. He handed her a twenty, and she left.
What about the cat-feeding theory?" I asked him.
Out the window.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen

“Hey!" Lula yelled, back in Ranger's face. "You look at me when I'm having a breakdown. And don't pull that mysterio silent shit on me. I don't take that bus, you see what I'm saying?”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen

“He was around the desk in two strides, reaching out for me. I knocked his hand away, grabbed the staple gun, pressed it into his crotch, and bam, bam, bam, bam . . . I stapled his nuts.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen

“Ranger’s Cayenne pulled in behind the SUV. Ranger got out, scooped me up off the ground, and held me close.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen

“My instructions were to disable the car, but one of my men bet Hal a burger he couldn’t get the engine out. So Hal removed the engine.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen

“I swear, you're a crazy person. You go around up to your eyeballs in snakes and dead people and exploding beavers. It's just not normal. Even when I was a 'ho, my life wasn't that freaky.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen

“You don’t look like a cop,” I told him. “All the other guys wear suits.” “I’ve been asked by the chief not to wear a suit. I look like a casino pit boss when I wear a suit. I don’t inspire trust.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen

“Women grow up wary, and men grow up thinking they’re immortal.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen

“When I was young, I got a lot of tattoos, and now they don’t look so good. One time, I got drunk and got Eisenhower tattooed on my balls, but now he looks like Orville Redenbacher.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen

“Babe, nothing’s been happening in my bed, and no one’s going to see your underpants in this meeting unless you go goofy.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen

“Babe, you’ve destroyed a car, burned down two buildings, stapled a guy’s nuts, and you have sixteen stitches in your leg. Take a night off. Have a glass of wine, watch some television, and go to bed early.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen

“I could use some lunch.” “Do you have any money?” “No,” Lula said. “Do you?” “No.” “There’s only one thing to do then. Senior buffet.” Ten minutes later, I pulled into the Costco parking lot.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen

“knees and your shirt caught in your zipper.” “I don’t remember that part,” Dickie said. “Did I used to do that?” “Yes.” Dickie started laughing. “I wasn’t making a lot of money back then. I couldn’t afford a hotel room.” “It’s not funny!” I said. “Sure it is. Grass stains and rug burns are always funny.” He looked over at Morelli. “She didn’t like to do doggy.” Morelli slid a look at me and smiled. There wasn’t much I didn’t like”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen

“Okay, so this had all the makings of a cluster fuck, but there was a Dairy Queen Oreo Cheese-Quake Blizzard waiting for me somewhere.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen

“The doorbell rang and Grandma ran to get it. “It’s him,” she said to me. “It’s my honey.” My father got out of his chair in the living room and took his seat at the table. “I don’t care if he craps in a bag,” he said to Ranger. “I’ll give you a hundred bucks if you can scare him into marrying her and moving her into his room at the old people’s home.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen

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Popular quotes

“Non chiamai Marion. Provai un senso di solitudine, in mancanza di parole migliori, ma in effetti è la parola giusta, una cosa a cui ho sempre cercato di oppormi e da cui sapevo come uscire, ma talvolta anche questo non bastava, e non la chiamai perché non volevo arrendermi, guardando la notte che scendeva.”
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“I pushed passed him. He grabbed my hand and swung me back towards him. Then he pushed me against the wall and... he kissed me.
He ran his thumb along my jawline and down my throat, hips pinning me to the wall. He kissed me slowly and with intensity, and once I got over the mind-numbing shock and comprehended what was actually happening, it was incredible. I had never been kissed like that before. We melted together. Every movement of mine was somehow perfectly mirrored by his. My heart was pounding so hard I knew he must be able to feel it and I was sure my legs were giving way, but he held me up, pushed me harder against the wall.
I grabbed a handful of his hair, remembering all the times I'd dreamed of doing it. I let my hand drift down his back and pulled him even closer to me. It all happened so quickly. I heard him make a low kind of growl and lean into me. His hand slid down my leg behind my knee, drawing it to him. I moaned and felt him tense.”
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“This Descender was the princess he had been waiting for - the real Helen.”
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“Bet you ten bucks we make it."

What are the odds? she thought, and realized with sudden, blinding clarity that she wouldn't take the other side of that bet, that only a loser would bet against them. This is really it, she thought, amazed. This is really forever. I believe in this.

"Min?" he said, and she kissed him, putting all her heart into it.

"No bet," she said against his mouth. "Your odds are too good."

"Our odds are too good”
― Jennifer Crusie, quote from Bet Me

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