“Babe, you've destroyed a car, burned down two buildings, stapled a guy's nuts, and you have sixteen stitches in your leg. Take a night off. Have a glass of wine, watch some television, and go to bed early."
-Ranger”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen
“When I was six years old I sprinkled sugar on my head, convinced myself it was pixie dust, wished myself invisible, and walked into the boys' bathroom at school.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen
“He's a good man," Ranger said.
"And you?"
"I'm better.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen
“Did you take Joyce's engine?'
'My instructions were to disable the car, but one of the men bet Hal a burger he couldn't get the engine out. So Hal removed the engine.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen
“Am I to assume you would rather not have us as clients?"
"Let me think about that for a nanosecond," Dickie said. "Yes! Last time you were in my office you tried to kill me."
"That's an exaggeration. Maim you, yes. Kill you, probably not."
”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen
“Ranger plays by his own set of rules, and I don't have a complete copy.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen
“I don't know much about cars," Joyce said, "but I think someone took my engine.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen
“The dancers finished thier set, and one immediately strolled over to our table and straddled Ranger.
Want a private party?" she asked.
Not tonight," Ranger said. He handed her a twenty, and she left.
What about the cat-feeding theory?" I asked him.
Out the window.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen
“Hey!" Lula yelled, back in Ranger's face. "You look at me when I'm having a breakdown. And don't pull that mysterio silent shit on me. I don't take that bus, you see what I'm saying?”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen
“He was around the desk in two strides, reaching out for me. I knocked his hand away, grabbed the staple gun, pressed it into his crotch, and bam, bam, bam, bam . . . I stapled his nuts.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen
“Ranger’s Cayenne pulled in behind the SUV. Ranger got out, scooped me up off the ground, and held me close.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen
“My instructions were to disable the car, but one of my men bet Hal a burger he couldn’t get the engine out. So Hal removed the engine.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen
“I swear, you're a crazy person. You go around up to your eyeballs in snakes and dead people and exploding beavers. It's just not normal. Even when I was a 'ho, my life wasn't that freaky.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen
“You don’t look like a cop,” I told him. “All the other guys wear suits.” “I’ve been asked by the chief not to wear a suit. I look like a casino pit boss when I wear a suit. I don’t inspire trust.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen
“Women grow up wary, and men grow up thinking they’re immortal.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen
“When I was young, I got a lot of tattoos, and now they don’t look so good. One time, I got drunk and got Eisenhower tattooed on my balls, but now he looks like Orville Redenbacher.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen
“Babe, nothing’s been happening in my bed, and no one’s going to see your underpants in this meeting unless you go goofy.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen
“Babe, you’ve destroyed a car, burned down two buildings, stapled a guy’s nuts, and you have sixteen stitches in your leg. Take a night off. Have a glass of wine, watch some television, and go to bed early.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen
“I could use some lunch.” “Do you have any money?” “No,” Lula said. “Do you?” “No.” “There’s only one thing to do then. Senior buffet.” Ten minutes later, I pulled into the Costco parking lot.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen
“knees and your shirt caught in your zipper.” “I don’t remember that part,” Dickie said. “Did I used to do that?” “Yes.” Dickie started laughing. “I wasn’t making a lot of money back then. I couldn’t afford a hotel room.” “It’s not funny!” I said. “Sure it is. Grass stains and rug burns are always funny.” He looked over at Morelli. “She didn’t like to do doggy.” Morelli slid a look at me and smiled. There wasn’t much I didn’t like”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen
“Okay, so this had all the makings of a cluster fuck, but there was a Dairy Queen Oreo Cheese-Quake Blizzard waiting for me somewhere.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen
“The doorbell rang and Grandma ran to get it. “It’s him,” she said to me. “It’s my honey.” My father got out of his chair in the living room and took his seat at the table. “I don’t care if he craps in a bag,” he said to Ranger. “I’ll give you a hundred bucks if you can scare him into marrying her and moving her into his room at the old people’s home.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Lean Mean Thirteen
“Hollis thought he looked like William Burroughs, minus the bohemian substrate (or perhaps the methadone). Like someone who'd be invited quail shooting with the vice-president, though too careful to get himself shot.”
― William Gibson, quote from Spook Country
“Fifteen years ago, this would have been insider trading, but that quaint concept had disappeared a decade or two ago when so many brokers were doing it that it was impossible to jail them all. Now it was called smart trading.”
― Max Barry, quote from Jennifer Government
“Looking for Your Face
From the beginning of my life
I have been looking for your face
but today I have seen it
Today I have seen
the charm, the beauty,
the unfathomable grace
of the face
that I was looking for
Today I have found you
and those who laughed
and scorned me yesterday
are sorry that they were not looking
as I did
I am bewildered by the magnificence
of your beauty
and wish to see you
with a hundred eyes
My heart has burned with passion
and has searched forever
for this wondrous beauty
that I now behold
I am ashamed
to call this love human
and afraid of God
to call it divine
Your fragrant breath
like the morning breeze
has come to the stillness of the garden
You have breathed new life into me
I have become your sunshine
and also your shadow
My soul is screaming in ecstasy
Every fiber of my being
is in love with you
Your effulgence
has lit a fire in my heart
and you have made radiant
for me
the earth and sky
My arrow of love
has arrived at the target
I am in the house of mercy
and my heart
is a place of prayer”
― Rumi, quote from The Love Poems of Rumi
“Remember crime against property is not real crime. People look at an oil painting and admire the use of brushstrokes to convey meaning. People look at a graffiti painting and admire the use of a drainpipe to gain access.”
― Banksy, quote from Wall and Piece
“We're going on the roof?" I asked.
"Yep," Caleb answered, "and while we're on the roof, with great cell service-"
"The only cell service!" Kyle yelled.”
― Shelly Crane, quote from Defiance
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