Just for the Summer

She definitely took delight in nature’s beauty.

I had the gift of extreme empathy paired with detachment. I could deeply understand someone and anticipate their needs, but also never get close enough to them to feel it when they passed away or suffered or I moved on. I didn’t fall in love. Not with people or places. Not with anything, really.

You don’t have to forgive her. You can still love someone that you’ve decided not to speak to anymore. You can still wish them well and hope for the best for them. Choosing a life without them doesn’t mean you stop caring about them. It just means that you can’t allow them to harm you anymore. But if you don’t think your life would be better without them in it, then accept that they have cracks. Try to understand how they got them and help fill them with something that isn’t ice. If you can choose anger or empathy, always choose empathy, Justin.

It isn't glamorous, it isn't all butterflies and stars in your eyes. It's real. This is the kind of love that forever is made of. Because if it's this good when life is drainig and mundane and hard, think of how wonderful it will be when the love songs are playing and the moon is out.

What happens when water gets into a crack and it freezes?" "It expands," I said. "Makes the crack bigger". "Unhealed trauma is a crack. And all the little hard things that trickle into it that would have rolled off someone else, settle. Then when life get cold, that crack gets bigger, longer, deeper. It makes new breaks. You don't know how broken she was or what she was trying to do to fill those cracks. Being broken is not an excuse for bad behavior, you still have to make good choices and do the right thing. But it can be the reason. And sometimes understanding the reason can be what helps you heal.