“TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public.”
― Douglas Coupland, quote from JPod
“Here's my theory about meetings and life: the three things you can't fake are erections, competence and creativity.”
― Douglas Coupland, quote from JPod
“Please stop putting quotes from Nietzsche at the end of your emails. Five years ago you were laughing your guts out over American Pie 2. What — suddenly you’ve magically turned into Noam Chomsky?”
― Douglas Coupland, quote from JPod
“Remember how, back in 1990, if you used a cellphone in public you looked like a total asshole? We're all assholes now.”
― Douglas Coupland, quote from JPod
“Hasn't it been a long time since you had a flying dream?”
― Douglas Coupland, quote from JPod
“I think computers ought to have a key called I'M DRUNK, and when you push it, it prevents you from sending email for twelve hours.
I've got another one: a key called FUCK OFF. You press it every time your computer does something annoying -- in turn this would somehow force your computer to experience pain. And if you pushed SHIFT/FUCK OFF, you'd end up with FUCK OFF AND DIE, the computer equivalent of a razor being raked across your nipples.”
― Douglas Coupland, quote from JPod
“Gore is nature's way of saying, "There are too many human beings on the planet, and I'm trying to rectify this any way I can. SARS didn't work, but trust me, I'm cooking up something better. In the interim, please kill lots of yourselves.”
― Douglas Coupland, quote from JPod
“You know what the best thing is about the end of the day? Tomorrow, it starts all over again.”
― Douglas Coupland, quote from JPod
“The only way to the top is killing and greed. Okay, I’m kidding. But killing helps.”
― Douglas Coupland, quote from JPod
“Kaitlin said, "I'm so sick of that 'Greatest Generation' crap. We finally drove a silver nail through the heart of Generation X, only to have this new monster rear its head. And I'm soooooo sick of Tom Hanks looking earnest all the time. They should make a Tom Hanks movie where Tom kills off Greatest Generation figureheads one by one."
Bree arrived on cue: "And then he starts killing other generations. He becomes this supernova of hate--all he wants to do is destroy."
"Hate clings to him like a rich, lathery shampoo. His lungs secrete it like anthrax foam."
Mom lost it. "Stop it! All of you! Tom Hanks is a fine actor who would never hurt anybody. At least not onscreen."
I thought, 'Hey, didn't Tom Hanks mow down half of Chicago in "Road to Perdition?"' Well, whatever.”
― Douglas Coupland, quote from JPod
“I'm going to see Princess Mononoke tonight at the Ridge — and you're coming with me.”
― Douglas Coupland, quote from JPod
“After playing Halo 2 for 3 hours, I went out and mowed down a Red Cross blood bank, raped anything with a pulse, and trashed the local mall. Then I toasted the gods of destruction with a goblet of blood stolen from a Girl Guide's body.”
― Douglas Coupland, quote from JPod
“Ho chiesto a Kaitlin qualcosa sull'ironia ed è saltato fuori che solo il venti per cento degli esseri umani possiede il senso dell'ironia - il che significa che l'ottanta per cento del pianeta prende tutto seriamente. Non riesco a immaginare qualcosa di peggio. Okay, forse si, ci riesco, ma immaginate di leggere il giornale del mattino credendo che sia tutto vero, in qualche misura.”
― Douglas Coupland, quote from JPod
“Statemi a sentire: il lunedì fa schifo perchè sei arrabbiato per non aver potuto dormire fino a tardi, inoltre è anche il giorno in cui avviene il sessanta per cento delle riunioni che ti rovinano la vita. Il martedì fa schifo perchè ci sono ancora quattro giorni lavorativi da superare; odi te stesso e il mondo perchè sei intrappolato nella ruota per criceti chiamata vita, schiavo della paga. Il mercoledì è terribile perchè ti rendi conto, verso mezzogiorno, che è finita metà della settimana lavorativa ma il fatto che tu veda la vita in questo modo significa che non sei nient'altro che la terza vignetta di quel vecchio fumetto che non faceva ridere, Cathy, quella in cui lei si rende conto di essere una grassa zitella solitaria e le si drizzano i capelli in testa e fa un grido tipo aughhhhhh! Il venerdì è terribile perchè ti senti come un topolino da laboratorio che aspetta che il cibo venga messo nella sua gabbia, e in questo caso il cibo è il weekend. Il sabato va bene ma appena bene. E la domenica, come ho già detto, è la giornata dimenticata dal tempo, in cui non succede niente e ti ritrovi, perversamente, a desiderare che sia di nuovo lunedì. Per cui, il massimo sarebbe una settimana fatta di giovedì. Tutti sono di buonumore, la gente fa davvero quello che deve e un luccichio di sabato rende tutto più brillante.”
― Douglas Coupland, quote from JPod
Douglas Coupland
Born place: in CFB Baden-Söllingen, Germany
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“Don't worry, even if you fall over! It's all right. You can just pick yourself up again!
When you fall over, make the most of the chance to look up and see the sky.
You will see the blue sky spreading endlessly above you and smiling down.
Aya, you are alive!”
― quote from 1 Litre of Tears
“Some of you will have fine monuments by which the living may remember the evil done to you. Some of you will have only crude wooden crosses or painted rocks, while yet others of you must remain hidden in the shadows of history.”
― Kazuo Ishiguro, quote from The Buried Giant
“I used to think that English-speaking who conveniently look, dress, and act human only turned up in lazy science fiction. But as Carly and Frampton dematerialized, I became grimly aware of how well they'd also fit into a psychotic hallucination.”
― Rob Reid, quote from Year Zero
“Careful,” he chided with a grin. “First you talk marriage and now you're telling me what to eat. You're sounding more and more like a real girlfriend every day. Just remember, this is still our first date, so keep your hands to yourself tonight. I'm not one of those guys.”
― Jennifer Shirk, quote from Fiance by Fate
“The government had been controlling my nightly visits.”
― Laura Thalassa, quote from The Vanishing Girl
The Birth of Tragedy
On the Genealogy of...
The God-Stone War
A Moment
Seducing Destiny
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