“Clearly," Jason said, "you are not doing nothing. You are most definitely doing something. What it looks like you're doing is pouring packets of sugar on Lauren Moffat's head."
Shhh," I said. "It's snowing. But only on Lauren." I shook more sugar out of the packets. "'Merry Christmas, Mr. Potter,'" I called softly down to Lauren in my best Jimmy Stewart imitation. "'Merry Christmas, you old building and Loan.'"
Jason started cracking up, and I had to hush him as Becca saw my sugar supply running low and hastened to hand me more packets.
Stop laughing so loud," I said to Jason. "You'll spoil this beautiful moment for them." I sprinkled more sugar over the side of the balcony. "'Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.”
― Meg Cabot, quote from How to Be Popular
“I think we're given multiple chances to meet multiple soulmates. Sure, you could meet a soulmate in highschool. But that doesn't mean if you don't act on it, you'll never meet anyone else. You will, just at a time that's more convenient for you.”
― Meg Cabot, quote from How to Be Popular
“It was only when they'd rounded the corner toward the Penguin that we finally sat up, Laughing semi-hysterically.
"Oh my God, did you see her face?" Becca asked between guffaws. "'There's something in my hair!'"
"That was fantastic, Crazytop," Jason said, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes. "Best master plan yet.”
― Meg Cabot, quote from How to Be Popular
“This was something you had to work through on you own," Jason said. "Besides, I knew you'd do the right thing."
"Oh, right," I said. I wanted to throw something at him. I really did. "And if I hadn't?"
Now Jason brandished something he'd been holding behind his back. It was a golf club.
"I figured Big Bertha here would drive them away," he said.”
― Meg Cabot, quote from How to Be Popular
“Tell me what game Steph Landry and I used to play in the big dirt pile they made while they were digging my family’s pool, back when we were both seven, or I’ll know you’re an alien replacement and you’ve got the real Steph up in your mother ship!”
I glared at him. “G.I. Joe meets Spelunker Barbie,” I said. “And stop being so ridiculous. We have to go. We’re going to end up at a bad table for lunch.”
― Meg Cabot, quote from How to Be Popular
“I remembered lying there in my wet panties, going, “What do I do now?” Jason was asleep, but even if he hadn’t been, I wouldn’t have told him what had happened. I was convinced I’d never have heard the end of it. “Wet the bed like a baby!” he’d cry. Well, knowing Jason, he probably wouldn’t have said any such thing. But in my feverish four-year-old brain, I was convinced he wouldn’t want to be my friend anymore if he knew I was a bed wetter. Also, of course, it would come up every time I beat him at anything: “Well, okay, maybe you’re better at Candy Land, but at least I’m not a bed wetter.”
― Meg Cabot, quote from How to Be Popular
“And the truth is, I’d felt kind of a thrill about wearing Jason’s Big Boy pants. I was a sick kid, even way back then.”
― Meg Cabot, quote from How to Be Popular
“Guys don't like it when you get too heavy, I've noticed. They especially don't like it when you try to talk too much about the future. They're like little woodland animals. Everything's well and good when you're just doling out the nuts and everything's cool. But the minute you bring out the net to try to catch them - even if it's for their own good, like to help them escape a forest fire - all hell breaks loose.”
― Meg Cabot, quote from How to Be Popular
Meg Cabot
Born place: in Bloomington, Indiana, The United States
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“My recommendation is to keep up the good work. I’m changing your title to senior executive assistant, and giving you a three percent raise effective next payday. Congratulations.”
Wow, three percent. I could move up that early retirement plan to age seventy-five now, instead of eighty. Lucky me.
Thank you,” I said. “That’s very generous.”
You’re quite welcome.” Ms. Saunders nodded and grabbed a gold-plated letter opener to begin attacking her stack of mail.
I turned to leave. Didn’t want to outstay my welcome.
Damn it!” she exclaimed, and I turned back around. She winced and nodded at the letter opener that she’d dropped to her desktop. “Damn thing slipped. I’m probably going to need stitches now. Can you be a dear and fetch the first-aid kit for me?”
She held her left index finger and frowned at the steady flow of blood oozing out. A few small drops of red splashed onto the other letters spread out on the desk.
I felt woozy. And suddenly dizzy.
I blinked.
When I opened my eyes, I was no longer standing by the door about to leave. I was crouched down next to Ms. Saunders’s imported black leather chair, grasping her wrist tightly…… and sucking noisily on her fingertip.
I shrieked and let go of her, staggering backward. I grabbed at her desk to keep from falling, but I dropped on my butt, anyhow, taking most of the contents of the top of her desk with me.
She held her injured finger far away from her and stared at me, wide-eyed, with a mixture of shock and disgust.
I scrambled to my feet and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.
What in the holy hell just happened?
I… I… uh… I’m so sorry,” I managed. “I don’t know what… I wouldn’t normally do something… I just…”
Ms. Saunders pulled her hand close to her chest, perhaps to protect it from further abuse.
Get out,” she said quietly.
Yeah, I’ll get back to work. Again, I’m so, so sorry. Would you like me to bring you a cup of coffee?”
No, not to your desk,” she said evenly, but her volume increased with every word. “Get out of here, you freak. I don’t care what you’ve heard, I’m not into women. You’re fired. Now get out of here before I call security.”
But… my job review—”
Get out!” she yelled.”
― Michelle Rowen, quote from Bitten & Smitten
“Words can give us knowledge and understanding. They can tell us of things as they once were, as they should be, or even as they might be.”
― M.L. Forman, quote from Slathbog's Gold
“The box was beginning to feel like another person in my house, a person with too much power for the space she took up.”
― Diane Chamberlain, quote from The Midwife's Confession
“Whilst never actually rebuffing a visitor, he always reared such a wall of reserve that few could think of anything to say to him which would not sound inane.”
― H.P. Lovecraft, quote from The Case of Charles Dexter Ward
“of the actual objects of physical reality. Physical objects are not in space, but these objects are spatially extended.”
― Albert Einstein, quote from Relativity: The Special and the General Theory
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