“How many asses can I fuck before I pass the threshold of sexual acceptability and destroy my chances for being a contender in the sweepstakes of romance?”
― Edward Southgate, quote from Great Pleasures
“It's very difficult to look completely sober even when you are completely sober.”
― Edward Southgate, quote from Great Pleasures
“Surprisingly, Robert's bare, lubed, thin cock didn't slide into his lover's hole easily. It stopped an inch in, jammed like Pooh in Rabbit's front door.”
― Edward Southgate, quote from Great Pleasures
“We get buzzed and smile at each other, talk talk talk, then a lull, then talk talk talk talk and he announces he's drunk. "Should I take advantage of you?" I ask. "Yes," he replies, serious and smiling, but slightly ashamed of his desire. "I'm so easy.”
― Edward Southgate, quote from Great Pleasures
“Fucking him would have been such bad relationship karma.”
― Edward Southgate, quote from Great Pleasures
“Man, Pfizer isn't kidding when they say that Viagra gives you the physical ability to get a boner, but that you still need to feel attraction for a hard on to appear or maintain. Jason really helped me test the limits of the power of Viagra.”
― Edward Southgate, quote from Great Pleasures
“The essential oddity of human communication does not prevent its effectiveness, if retarded in efficiency.”
― Edward Southgate, quote from Great Pleasures
“It strikes me as ironic that tonight I refused to get into the car of a drunk driver, but I let a near-stranger fuck me unprotected.”
― Edward Southgate, quote from Great Pleasures
“Finally, by the end of the date-in a cafè further uptown-I said,"So, when are we going to get the chance to make out?"
Jeremy blushes and ducked his head.
"This is where you thought we were going?" he asked."I hadn't really thought of you that way. I thought we were just friends."
Who has Saturday evening meetings with guys they meet online(on Manhunt, no less) and just thinks of them as friendly encounters?
I was insulted. And hurt.”
― Edward Southgate, quote from Great Pleasures
“I wish I could get drunk and do useful things without remembering -like finishing a book, or cleaning the tub.”
― Edward Southgate, quote from Great Pleasures
“Whoever coined the phrase "honesty is the best policy" was a liar. Me and my big mouth.”
― Edward Southgate, quote from Great Pleasures
“What he wants-actual friendship, over a sustained period, as a kind of audition of romantic possibility-is a long and windingly manipulative road that I have not intention to travelling.”
― Edward Southgate, quote from Great Pleasures
“My body looks like my father's in the mirror.”
― Edward Southgate, quote from Great Pleasures
“My stomach and ass are loose, like they've been unsprung. See, kids...don't quit smoking. This is what you'll have to deal with. An unsprung ass.”
― Edward Southgate, quote from Great Pleasures
“Natural body. I suppose I can live with that. That's the best euphemism for fat, lazy slob I've ever heard and no matter how I scan it, it still doesn't sound insulting.”
― Edward Southgate, quote from Great Pleasures
“Sometimes I think my entire life is a search for that exact line where the heart ceases to compensate for the failures of the flesh.”
― Edward Southgate, quote from Great Pleasures
“There is only one way I stop being a slut, and that's by falling in love. If we're all lucky, that will happen, and I'll shut the box marked "CRAZY SEX HOOKUP ISSUES" and open the one labeled (in neon orange letters) "CRAZY RELATIONSHIP ISSUES". I'm insanely faithful when I'm in love. Emphasis on "insanely".”
― Edward Southgate, quote from Great Pleasures
“Didn't your mother teach you anything? That the best way to find true love is to fuck around with any guy who will say yes and screw men in relationships? Think of your reputation! Who will love you now, whore?
Fuck you. It was fun and I felt better afterwards.”
― Edward Southgate, quote from Great Pleasures
“Can I tell you a secret?
I am a virgin.
It can grow back.”
― Edward Southgate, quote from Great Pleasures
“...there was this moment-a moment affected by exhaustion, Zyban, nicotine withdrawal, alcohol, marijuana, dreamy sensual music, and testosterone-when I lost track of whose ass was whose, whose cock was where.”
― Edward Southgate, quote from Great Pleasures
“I wondered if I still had cum on my face, dried and obvious. Awful: sitting, waiting, in that burger joint, feeling drunk and high and alone and self-consciously ugly.”
― Edward Southgate, quote from Great Pleasures
“It's crazy difficult to get lost in passion without the ignition of a kiss.”
― Edward Southgate, quote from Great Pleasures
“The rest of his body is unmemorable, and he's also a turtle-he lies on his back and gets stuck there, immobile.”
― Edward Southgate, quote from Great Pleasures
“I'm really too buzzed now to care that I'm going to die alone.”
― Edward Southgate, quote from Great Pleasures
“In the last few years, I would even gag brushing my teeth.
But here I am just two and a half months after quitting smoking with a dick all the way down my throat.
This is the kind of thing they don't tell you in the smoking PSAs, but probably should.”
― Edward Southgate, quote from Great Pleasures
“Part of surviving as a boy is doing stupid and dangerous things occasionally in the pursuit of ecstasy.”
― Edward Southgate, quote from Great Pleasures
Edward Southgate
Born place: in New York, NY, The United States
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“I mentally began composing a list of words that began with F: Frey. Father. False. Friend. Frick. Frack. And some others.”
― Rick Riordan, quote from The Ship of the Dead
“From youth, I have been accustomed to direct the eyes of my spirit inwards rather than outwards; and hence it is very natural, that, to a certain extent, I should be acquainted with man, while of men I have not the smallest knowledge.”
― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, quote from Wilhelm Meister's Apprenticeship
“I find I look at this province with very different eyes then when I arrived. I recollect I then thought of it as singularly level, but now after galloping over the montañas my own only surprise is what could have induced me to have ever called it level!”
― Charles Darwin, quote from Voyage of the Beagle
“Pucetti’s was the generation that was all in favour of sentiment, sharing other people’s pain, voicing compassion for the downtrodden, yet Brunetti often found in them traces of a ruthlessness that chilled his spirit and made him fearful for the future. He wondered if the cheap sentimentality of television and film had sent them into some sort of emotional insulin shock and suffocated their ability to feel empathy with the unappealing victims of the mess that real life created.”
― Donna Leon, quote from Blood from a Stone
“Today for show & tell, I've brought in some flash cards I made. Each card has a letter followed by several dashes. When I show the card, you yell out the vulgar, obscene or blasphemous word they stand for! …Ready? …She's such a hypocrite about building vocabulary.”
― Bill Watterson, quote from Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat
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