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“People listen better if they feel that you have understood them. They tend to think that those who understand them are intelligent and sympathetic people whose own opinions may be worth listening to. So if you want the other side to appreciate your interests, begin by demonstrating that you appreciate theirs.”
― quote from Getting to Yes: Negotiating an Agreement Without Giving In
“The more extreme the opening positions and the smaller the concessions, the more time and effort it will take to discover whether or not agreement is possible.”
― quote from Getting to Yes: Negotiating an Agreement Without Giving In
“Any method of negotiation may be fairly judged by three criteria: It should produce a wise agreement if agreement is possible. It should be efficient. And it should improve or at least not damage the relationship between the parties.”
― quote from Getting to Yes: Negotiating an Agreement Without Giving In
“The ability to see the situation as the other side sees it, as difficult as it may be, is one of the most important skills a negotiator can possess.”
― quote from Getting to Yes: Negotiating an Agreement Without Giving In
“If you want someone to listen and understand your reasoning, give your interests and reasoning first and your conclusions or proposals later. Tell”
― quote from Getting to Yes: Negotiating an Agreement Without Giving In
“As useful as looking for objective reality can be, it is ultimately the reality as each side sees it that constitutes the problem in a negotiation and opens the way to a solution.”
― quote from Getting to Yes: Negotiating an Agreement Without Giving In
“The most powerful interests are basic human needs. In searching for the basic interests behind a declared position, look particularly for those bedrock concerns that motivate all people. If you can take care of such basic needs, you increase the chance both of reaching agreement and, if an agreement is reached, of the other side’s keeping to it. Basic human needs include: security economic well-being a sense of belonging recognition control over one’s life As fundamental as they are, basic human needs are easy to overlook. In many negotiations, we tend to think that the only interest involved is money. Yet even in a negotiation over a monetary figure, such as the amount of alimony to be specified in a separation agreement, much more can be involved.”
― quote from Getting to Yes: Negotiating an Agreement Without Giving In
“THE METHOD 2. Separate the People from the Problem 3. Focus on Interests, Not Positions 4. Invent Options for Mutual Gain 5. Insist on Using Objective Criteria”
― quote from Getting to Yes: Negotiating an Agreement Without Giving In
“For more interesting examples from the Law of the Sea negotiations, see James K. Sebenius, Negotiating the Law of the Sea: Lessons in the Art and Science of Reaching Agreement (Harvard University Press, 1984).”
― quote from Getting to Yes: Negotiating an Agreement Without Giving In
“For more on the core concerns and how to manage them in negotiation, see Roger Fisher and Daniel Shapiro, Beyond Reason: Using Emotions As You Negotiate (Penguin, 2006).”
― quote from Getting to Yes: Negotiating an Agreement Without Giving In
“Negotiation, Information Technology, and the Problem of the Faceless Other,” in Leigh L. Thompson, editor, Negotiation Theory and Research (Psychology Press, 2006).”
― quote from Getting to Yes: Negotiating an Agreement Without Giving In
“systematic tools for getting results, whether in business or international diplomacy, summed up in Beyond Machiavelli and Getting It DONE;”
― quote from Getting to Yes: Negotiating an Agreement Without Giving In
“The second negotiation concerns how you will negotiate the substantive question: by soft positional bargaining, by hard positional bargaining, or by some other method. This second negotiation is a game about a game—a “meta-game.” Each move you make within a negotiation is not only a move that deals with rent, salary, or other substantive questions; it also helps structure the rules of the game you are playing. Your move may serve to keep the negotiations within an ongoing mode, or it may constitute a game-changing move.”
― quote from Getting to Yes: Negotiating an Agreement Without Giving In
“The more you clarify your position and defend it against attack, the more committed you become to it. The”
― quote from Getting to Yes: Negotiating an Agreement Without Giving In
“the more attention that is paid to positions, the less attention is devoted to meeting the underlying concerns of the parties.”
― quote from Getting to Yes: Negotiating an Agreement Without Giving In
“Whether a negotiation concerns a contract, a family quarrel, or a peace settlement among nations, people routinely engage in positional bargaining. Each side takes a position, argues for it, and makes concessions to reach a compromise.”
― quote from Getting to Yes: Negotiating an Agreement Without Giving In
“The game of negotiation takes place at two levels. At one level, negotiation addresses the substance; at another, it focuses—usually implicitly—on the procedure for dealing with the substance.”
― quote from Getting to Yes: Negotiating an Agreement Without Giving In
“In a mental hospital, we do not want psychotic doctors.”
― quote from Getting to Yes: Negotiating an Agreement Without Giving In
“An open mind is not an empty one.”
― quote from Getting to Yes: Negotiating an Agreement Without Giving In
“You’ll have to take me to some museums,” he said. He was being the young man on the road, following the sun because gray weather made him suicidal, writing his poetry in his mind in diners and gas station men’s rooms across the country.”
― Francesca Lia Block, quote from Echo
“Compassion is a coat of fur I find particularly ill-fitting.”
― Ron Currie Jr., quote from God Is Dead
“The elevator thumped to a stop. The doors slid open and a dozen people began to stampede inside. “Walk me to my car,” Alana said above the crowd, and she moved forward through the pedestrians with absolute confidence that they would melt away at her approach. Somehow, they all did. Deborah”
― Jeff Lindsay, quote from Dexter Is Delicious
“What is there more real, for instance, in our universe than a man's life, and how can we hope to preserve it better than a realistic film? But under what conditions is such a film possible? Under purely imaginary conditions. We should have to presuppose, in fact, an ideal camera focused on the man day and night and constantly registering his every move. The very projection of such a film would last a lifetime and could be seen only by an audience of people willing to waste their lives in watching someone else's life in great detail. Even under such conditions, such an unimaginable film would not be realistic for the simple reason that the reality of a man's life is not limited to the spot in which he happens to be. It lies also in other lives that give shape to his--lives of people he loves, to begin with, which would have to be filmed too, and also lives of unknown people, influential and insignificant, fellow citizens, policemen, professors, invisible comrades from the mines and foundries, diplomats and dictators, religious reformers, artists who create myths that are decisive for out conduct--humble representatives, in short, of the sovereign chance that dominates the most routine existences. Consequently, there is but one possible realistic film: one that is constantly shown us by an invisible camera on the world's screen. The only realistic artist, then, is God, if he exists. All other artists are, ipso facto, unfaithful to reality.”
― Albert Camus, quote from Resistance, Rebellion and Death: Essays
“It wasn't that I wanted to know her now. I wanted to have already known her. I wanted her fears and her desires to have shaped my life. I know this is not love, of course. What it is is a queer feeling of nostalgia for an impossible future, for what can never be. That's fantasy. Love is different.”
― John Dufresne, quote from Love Warps the Mind a Little
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