Quotes from The Reluctant Assassin

Eoin Colfer ·  321 pages

Rating: (6.3K votes)


“No alcohol, Riley." She nodded at the screen. "How are you liking the twenty-first century?"
Riley burped. "The Take That are most melodic. And God bless Harry Potter is all I can say. If not for him, all of London would have been consumed by the dark arts.”
― Eoin Colfer, quote from The Reluctant Assassin


“Punching - 2 shillings
Both eyes blacked - 4 shillings
Nose and jaw broke - 10 shillings
Jacked out (knocked out with a blackjack) - 15 shillings
Ear chewed off - same as previous
Leg or arm broke - 19 shillings
Shot in leg - 25 shillings
Stab - same as previous
Doing the Big Job - 3 pounds and up”
― Eoin Colfer, quote from The Reluctant Assassin


“The sun was already long past the spire when Garrick purchased a mug of coffee from his regular man on the tip of Oxford Street. But his palate had been educated by 21st century coffee, and he judged this mug as bilge water not fit for the Irish.”
― Eoin Colfer, quote from The Reluctant Assassin


“Mr. Charismo? Surely not Tibor Charismo, the most famous man in all of England.”
― Eoin Colfer, quote from The Reluctant Assassin


About the author

Eoin Colfer
Born place: in Wexford, Ireland
Born date May 14, 1965
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Popular quotes

“I love the way folktale and fantasy tap into the roots of story telling. The paradox, for me, is that by moving a story into the fantastic we can actually bring it closer to the reader, not move it further away. It is more than an escape. When we read of the only daughter of a fisherman (or the third son of a woodcutter) in a fairy tale, we are all that character. That's the underlying pulse beat of such tales. Using the fantastic as a prism for the past, if done properly, removes the tale from distancing specificity. It can't just be read as unique to a time and place; it is universalized in interesting, powerful ways. When I wrote Tigana, about the way tyranny tries to erase identity in conquered peoples, the fantasy setting seems to have done exactly that: I'm asked in places ranging from Korea to Poland to Croatia to Quebec, "Were you writing about us?"

I was. All of them. That is the point. The fantastic is a tool in the writer's arsenal, as potentially powerful as any there is, and any tool we have works to the benefit of the reader.”
― Guy Gavriel Kay, quote from Under Heaven


“May you and your triple cursed wash water turn purple with orange spots and fall down a bottomless pit!”
― Patricia C. Wrede, quote from The Enchanted Forest Chronicles


Tomorrow was my second chance to make things right but it never came. I’m sorry I never treasured the time we had for those regrets I take the blame. You gave everything you had. I took without giving back.” Sed paused in his song, feeling ridiculous for singing it to her while they made love.

“Baby, you realize this song is about Trey’s dead dog, don’t you?”
― Olivia Cunning, quote from Rock Hard


“The man was so smooth he wouldn’t slide on an oil slick.”
― Faith Hunter, quote from Skinwalker


“Having Bob there gave me a chance to interact with people. They would ask about Bob and I would get a chance to explain my situation at the same time. They would ask where he came from and I’d then be able to explain how we got together and how we were making money to pay our rent, food, electricity and gas bills. People would give me more of a fair hearing. Psychologically, people also began to see me in a different light. Cats are notoriously picky about who they like. And if a cat doesn’t like its owner it will go and find another one. Cats do that all the time. They go and live with somebody else. Seeing me with my cat softened me in their eyes. It humanised me. Especially after I’d been so dehumanised. In some ways it was giving me back my identity. I had been a non-person; I was becoming a person again.”
― James Bowen, quote from A Street Cat Named Bob: How One Man and His Cat Found Hope on the Streets


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