“You can stay home,” V muttered. “You really can totally f-in’ stay the f home, you f’ed-up mother-f’ing f-twit.”
Lassiter clasped his breastplate, and swooned like Julie Andrews. “Don’t you love it when he can’t swear? Warms my cockles—it’s like watching a drunk on roller skates try to play dodgeball in the dark—”
“The door opened a crack, and then Lassiter, in his game gear, stepped inside the room. As he held something out, Mary couldn’t see what it was— Wait a minute, was that a Snickers bar? “What are you doing?” she blurted as he cautiously approached. The beast snapped to attention, its jowls curling up in a snarl at the angel. But Lassiter was undaunted—so not a shocker. “Here,” he said. “Have a Snickers. You’re not yourself when you’re hangry.” There was a heartbeat of a pause. And then she couldn’t help it. She had to start laughing. “Really. Really?”
“Our strength must be tested,” he whispered, “for us to know it’s still there. And I will always be your warrior, Mary mine. Always and forever.”
“Rhage, we have a problem--"
"You weren't supposed to tell him!" Lassiter barked.
Rhage frowned. "Lassiter?"
"Fuck you!" came the muffled response.
Mary pointed to the hearth. "Lassiter is in a Santa suit, stuck in the chimney, impaled on something that means he can't dematerialize. So we've got a problem."
Rhage blinked once. And then threw his head back and laughed so loudly the windows shook.
"This is the best fucking Christmas present ever!"
"Fuck you, Hollywood!" Lassiter yelled from inside the chimney. "Fuck you so hard--”
“The great thing about family, Mary mused, was that they showed up. When it really mattered, your family, be they blood or by choice, were always where you needed them to be, even though they had busy lives and jobs and children of their own.”
“The door opened a crack, and then Lassiter, in his game gear, stepped inside the room. As he held something out, Mary couldn’t see what it was—
Wait a minute, was that a Snickers bar?
“What are you doing?” she blurted as he cautiously approached.
The beast snapped to attention, its jowls curling up in a snarl at the angel. But Lassiter was undaunted—so not a shocker.
“Here,” he said. “Have a Snickers. You’re not yourself when you’re hangry.”
“Mary.”
Turning at the soft sound of her name, she glanced behind herself. Then frowned. “Lassiter?”
“I’m over here.”
“Where?” She looked all around. “Why is your voice echoing?”
“Chimney.”
“What?”
“I’m stuck in the fucking chimney.”
She raced over to the fireplace and got on her hands and knees. Looking up into the dark flue, she shook her head. “Lass? What the hell are you doing up there?”
His voice emanated from somewhere above her. “Don’t tell anyone, okay?”
“What are you—”
An arm came down. A very sooty arm that was encased in a red sleeve that had white trim. Or what had been white trim and which was now smudged with ash.
“You’re stuck!” she exclaimed. “And thank God no one lit this fire!”
“You’re telling me,” he muttered in his disembodied voice. “I had to blow out Fritz’s match like a hundred times before he gave up. Fuck, that sounds dirty. Anyway, just remind me never to try to be Santa for your kid, okay? I’m not doing this again, even for her.”
Mary stretched a little farther in, but the logs on the hearth stopped her. “Lassiter. Why can’t you free yourself by dematerializing—”
“I’m impaled on a hook that’s iron. I can’t go ghost. And will you just take this?”
“What?”
“This.” He turned his hand toward her and there was…a box…in it? A small navy blue box. “Open it. And before you ask, I already cleared it with your pinheaded hellren. He’s not jel or anything.”
Mary sat back and shook her head. “I’m more worried about you—”
“Justopenthefuckingthingalready.”
Taking off the top, she found a slightly smaller box inside. That was velvet. “What is this?” As she lifted the lid, she…gasped. It was a pair of diamond earrings. A pair of perfectly matched, sparkly, diamond…
“A mother’s tears,” Lassiter’s slightly echo-y voice said softly. “So hard, so beautiful. I told you everything was going to be all right. And those are to remind you of how strong you are, how strong your love for your daughter is…how, even in the worst of times, things have a way of working out as they should.”
Blinking away tears, she thought of her crying in the foyer in front of the angel, crying because all had been lost. “They’re just beautiful,” she said hoarsely.
-Lassiter & Mary”
“You didn’t need to know the specifics about a male like that to be fully aware he was a Taylor Swift song waiting to happen.”
“Let me get this straight. You and I are in the Brotherhood's mobile surgical van, on our way to the training center because you were shot and now have a tube in your head to reduce brain swelling...and you're coming on to me?"
"My gray matter isn't the only thing getting bigger."
"You're like the indestructible slut, aren't you."
"You know, to most people, slut is an insult." He tried to lift his had to make the point. And failed. "I personally take it as a compliment. Shows commitment to my work.”
“dressed in blue-and-orange and red-and-white. “What is this?” she asked numbly. “On the screen?” “It’s the Iron Bowl from ’thirteen. Auburn–’Bama. Auburn wins with a one-hundred-and-nine-yard kick back run. War Damn Eagle.”
“Axe…I think I’m falling in love with you.” —”
“Lessers were fewer and farther between now than ever, and there had been sightings, by others in the Brotherhood, of a very different kind of foe.”
“And I will always be your warrior, Mary mine. Always and forever.” Mary”
“thought the hard part about being a dad was going to be the arguments—like her bringing some knuckle-dragging mouth breather home and expecting me not to slice off his smooth criminals and plant them in the yard. But”
“And the storm he was deliberately creating raked over the decimated landscape of his soul, obscuring the ragged, desolated mess he was.”
“Her first cogent thought was that he was a predator. Her second…was that she wanted to be caught.”
“What did he look like?” Mary whispered. When he didn’t reply, she cleared her throat. “Be honest. What did he look like.” It was a while before Rhage could reply, and when he did, it was just one word. “Her. He looked…exactly like Bitty.”
“With his chin dropped to his chest, he was staring at her from under his brows, his pale yellow eyes glowing as they locked on her and her alone.
Her first cogent thought was that he was a predator.
Her second… was that she wanted to be caught.”
“Isn’t it wonderful not to have to be perfect to be loved?”
“You scare the shit out of me, female.” He”
“Being left behind was a special kind of loss. —”
“All that Canada air coming south and turning us into Popsicles.” She”
“He can’t take her away!” he screamed at no one and everybody. “We just got her! He can’t take her—he’s a fucking stranger—” “Rhage,” Mary got directly in front of him, jumping up to catch his eye. “Rhage, we have to—” Latching onto her wide, sad stare, he moaned, “She’s ours…she’s ours…this stranger can’t take her away—she’s ours….”
“Axe saved my life….” That was the last thing Rhage said before he went nighty-night. —”
“Shut the door behind you. Or don’t. I don’t give a fuck. But if I don’t leave now, I’m going to have to explain to Elise why I killed you, and I’d rather talk about her class schedule.” —”
“Shit,” Rhage breathed. “I’m sorry. And shit, I shouldn’t have said ‘shit.’ Fuck. I mean…damn it.”
“You could scratch the itch of whatever sin you wanted: glory holes, gang bangs, girls on girls on guys. There were rooms for fetishes, and pits for fucking, and every tie-up, chain-down, in-the-air you could ask for. Especially”
“It was a very big it. A very…erect it, straining the front of his pants.”
“When he bared his fangs, she knew he was going to go for her jugular, and she wanted him there. Turning her head to the side, she bared herself to him— The strike was brutal, his fangs going in so deep, she screamed—but not in pain, even though it hurt in a delicious way. This was the marking she had heard about. This was the owning of the female by the male, the staking of the claim. And sure enough, he held her in place at the throat with his teeth as he marked her from the inside out by coming into her sex. But”
“Though a woman tempted man to eat, my dear Longfellow," said Holmes, "you never hear of Eve having to do with his drinking, for he took to that of his own notion.”
“I got through so much ink in the learning that the inkseller took to knocking at least once a week on the garden door. He had a gray solemn face that looked as if it was chiseled out of stone; he was stooped down like the letter C, as if he were Atlas carrying the weight of the world in his wooden barrel of ink. Maybe he did. I have learned that there is great power in words, no matter how long or short they be.”
“He were still smiling but his voice were hard as a spoon rattling in a metal cup.”
“A good teacher teaches what he has been taught. A wise one teaches what he has learned.” For”
“She made no other moves, but there was tension in her that said she was a lioness that could strike at any moment.
You know, remarks Magnus conversationally, lionesses do all the work while lions sit around.”
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