Quotes from Epic Fail

Claire LaZebnik ·  295 pages

Rating: (31.9K votes)


“No one's family is normal. Normalcy is a lie invented by advertising agencies to make the rest of us feel inferior.”
― Claire LaZebnik, quote from Epic Fail


“I got lost in him, and it was the kind of lost that's exactly like being found.”
― Claire LaZebnik, quote from Epic Fail


“He only invited me because of you and Chase.'
'Right,' she said, following me inside. 'He's never shown the slightest interest in you before. I mean, he's never stared at you like you're the only person in the room when we're all together. Or sulked around for days because you turned him down for a dance. Or touched the sleeve of your sweater when he thinks no one's looking-'
'He's never done any of that,' I said. Then, less confidently, 'Has he?”
― Claire LaZebnik, quote from Epic Fail


“You wouldn't think the touch of someone's hand could blow your mind. It's nothing, right? People don't right songs and poems about holding hands - they write them about kisses and sex and eternal love. I mean, when you're a little kid you hold hands with your parents to cross the street. Who's going to write an ode to that?
We were alone in the dark, even though the enormous theater was filled with probably a thousand people. We were a tiny island in a sea of other people who didn't matter, who had no meaning, who were so stupid, so oblivious, so stuck in their own boring lives that they didn't even notice the huge, momentous, life-shattering event that was taking place right there in row L, between seats 102 and 104.
Derek Edwards was holding my hand.”
― Claire LaZebnik, quote from Epic Fail


“Basically, the world is a giant shithole. But some of us are capable of imagining something better.”
― Claire LaZebnik, quote from Epic Fail



“He was wearing a plain white oxford unbuttoned over a T-shirt, but something about the way they fit made him look put together, like an Abercrombie model (well, like an Abercrombie model who had remembered to put on a shirt that morning).”
― Claire LaZebnik, quote from Epic Fail


“Juliana's a year older than me, but she sometimes seems younger - mostly because she's the opposite of cynical and I'm the opposite of the opposite of cynical.”
― Claire LaZebnik, quote from Epic Fail


“Everyone at Coral Tree Prep was good-looking. Really. Everyone. I didn't see a single fat or ugly kid all morning. Maybe they just locked them up at registration and didn't let them out again until graduation.”
― Claire LaZebnik, quote from Epic Fail


“He can’t ground her if he’s already killed her,” I pointed out when Juliana quoted this to me. “Well, he can, but it wouldn’t have the same impact.”
― Claire LaZebnik, quote from Epic Fail


“Man, I hated not being able to figure someone out.
And from the slightly uncertain look he gave me as we all went to class, I suspected he felt the same way.”
― Claire LaZebnik, quote from Epic Fail



“I cursed myself not only for forgetting to turn my phone off but for ever thinking that having a rock music ringtone was cool.”
― Claire LaZebnik, quote from Epic Fail


“And Derek was... what?
A pair of dark eyes that hid more than they revealed and some broad shoulders and a mouth that could be cold and thin and then suddenly widen into a generous grin just when you thought such a thing was impossible.”
― Claire LaZebnik, quote from Epic Fail


“I want a tutor,” Layla said. “It would make doing homework so much easier.”
“Me too,” said Kaitlyn. “If Layla gets one, I get one.”
“No daughter of mine will ever have a tutor,” Dad said.
“What if we’re failing a course?” asked Layla.
His graying eyebrows drew together. “If you fail a single course, young lady, we will pull you out of school and get you a job scrubbing toilets for the rest of your life.”
― Claire LaZebnik, quote from Epic Fail


“Value people because of who they were deep down, not because of their names or their parents’ clout.”
― Claire LaZebnik, quote from Epic Fail


“I was isolated but not ostracized, ignored but not abused.”
― Claire LaZebnik, quote from Epic Fail



“..."And then we played Ping-Pong—”

“Not pool? I always assumed he was a billiards man—I mean, it’s so handy the way he keeps a stick up his—”
― Claire LaZebnik, quote from Epic Fail


“Basically it means the world's a giant shithole, but some of us are capable of imagining something better.”
― Claire LaZebnik, quote from Epic Fail


“He's never shown the slightest interest in you before. I mean, he's never stared at you like you're the only person in the room when we're al together. Or sulked around for days because you turned him down for a dance. Or touched the sleeve of your sweater when he thinks no one's looking -”
― Claire LaZebnik, quote from Epic Fail


“The world exploded into billions of atoms, and when it rearranged itself, it may have looked the same, but really, it was a Whole New World.”
― Claire LaZebnik, quote from Epic Fail


About the author

Claire LaZebnik
See more on GoodReads

Popular quotes

“He started to do that, started to inform me of everything; the inconsequential, the meaningful; conversations that ended in a cul-de-sac of unanswerable rhetoric. i think it was because I knew everything about him, had read it all - the beautiful, the sordid, the all of his book. I had been his editor for 5 years, and now it seemed, had become his editor away from the printed page.”
― Sarah Winman, quote from When God Was a Rabbit


“God sees when we do not see, ja?”
― Bodie Thoene, quote from Vienna Prelude


“Every man or woman who makes a stand helps keep the flame of freedom burning.”
― Juliet Marillier, quote from Shadowfell


“God has made it incumbent upon us to struggle to raise high His word. Gihad is a pillar of Islam, exactly like prayer and fasting. Indeed, gihad is the most important of those pillars but the corrupt rulers dedicated to the pursuit of money and the pleasures of the flesh who have ruled the Islamic world in times of decadence have attempted, with the help of their hypocritical men of religion, to exclude gihad from the pillars of Islam, knowing that if the people cleaved fast to gihad, it would in the end be turned against them and cost them their thrones. In this way, by eliminating gihad, Islam was robbed of its real meaning and our great religion was transformed into a collection of meaningless rituals that the Muslims performed like athletic exercises, mere physical movements without spiritual significance. When the Muslims abandoned gihad, they became slaves to this world, clinging to it, shy of death, cowards. Thus their enemies prevailed”
― Alaa Al Aswany, quote from The Yacoubian Building


“When my grandmother—may she attain the Kingdom of Heaven—was dying, my mother, as was then the custom, took me to her bedside and, as I kissed her right hand, my dear grandmother placed her dying left hand on my head and said in a whisper, yet very distinctly: “Eldest of my grandsons! Listen and always remember my strict injunction to you: In life never do as others do.” Having said this, she gazed at the bridge of my nose and, evidently noticing my perplexity and my obscure understanding of what she had said, added somewhat angrily and imperiously: “Either do nothing—just go to school—or do something nobody else does Whereupon she immediately, without hesitation and with a perceptible impulse of disdain for all around her, and with commendable self-cognizance, gave up her soul directly into the hands of His Faithfulness, the Archangel Gabriel.”
― G.I. Gurdjieff, quote from Beelzebub's Tales to His Grandson


Interesting books

Columbine
(52.9K)
Columbine
by Dave Cullen
The Two Princesses of Bamarre
(61.2K)
The Two Princesses o...
by Gail Carson Levine
My Man Jeeves
(28.9K)
My Man Jeeves
by P.G. Wodehouse
Special Topics in Calamity Physics
(35.5K)
Special Topics in Ca...
by Marisha Pessl
Ship of Destiny
(43.5K)
Ship of Destiny
by Robin Hobb
Death in Venice
(26.3K)
Death in Venice
by Thomas Mann

About BookQuoters

BookQuoters is a community of passionate readers who enjoy sharing the most meaningful, memorable and interesting quotes from great books. As the world communicates more and more via texts, memes and sound bytes, short but profound quotes from books have become more relevant and important. For some of us a quote becomes a mantra, a goal or a philosophy by which we live. For all of us, quotes are a great way to remember a book and to carry with us the author’s best ideas.

We thoughtfully gather quotes from our favorite books, both classic and current, and choose the ones that are most thought-provoking. Each quote represents a book that is interesting, well written and has potential to enhance the reader’s life. We also accept submissions from our visitors and will select the quotes we feel are most appealing to the BookQuoters community.

Founded in 2023, BookQuoters has quickly become a large and vibrant community of people who share an affinity for books. Books are seen by some as a throwback to a previous world; conversely, gleaning the main ideas of a book via a quote or a quick summary is typical of the Information Age but is a habit disdained by some diehard readers. We feel that we have the best of both worlds at BookQuoters; we read books cover-to-cover but offer you some of the highlights. We hope you’ll join us.