“(pg.31)
"As it was, my first days on Earth were somewhat anticlimactic. Mother and Father seemed so happy tempting and corrupting that I didn't want to interrupt them. But the fact was that I hadn't the slightest clue what to do with myself. I tried to convince cows to take over the world, to rampage across the fields slaughtering all in their wake, to start a new religion of udder worship, to build cities devoted to the consumption of grass, their aqueducts running with fresh milk. I even prepared a pictorial presentation of cows traveling into outer space aboard butter-powered space churns, but the cows seemed unconvinced, and soon returned to wondering how many stomachs they had. The current belief was seventeen. Cows:Unambitious.”
― quote from Death: A Life
“Why, hello, Death. Long time no see. As you can see, I just couldn't stay away. The creeping things called out to Me. Anyway, what brings you here?- God”
― quote from Death: A Life
“It can safely be said that no one has touched more lives, more deeply, than Death. Through this devastating memoir, it is hoped he will touch many, many more.”
― quote from Death: A Life
“Similarly the animal psychologist, Aristophanes, accidentally discovered the world's first joke while inquiring into the hitherto mysterious motivations of pathway-traversing fowl.”
― quote from Death: A Life
“To all you sensitive sallys out there who spend your time scribing angry letters, I have great news: Scientific models show that in the not-too-distant future, all the races will become so completely interbred that humanity will have a monolithic caramelish color and common facial features. There won't be blonds or hairy Jews anymore.Words like "Chink" will cease to have meaning. They will be relics, along with those who use them for comedy. Which is exactly why I am past that meta-racist shit and onto poop and pee. Onward and downward!”
― Sarah Silverman, quote from The Bedwetter: Stories of Courage, Redemption, and Pee
“His demanding tongue tasted so damn good, and his piercing bit deliciously against her lip from the aggressive way he pursued her over and over. His hands tugged and massaged at her hair and neck. He just surrounded her. The difference in their height made Caden lean down over her. The way he forced her head back commanded her to open up to him. With the metal handle of the door pressing into her back, she felt completely enveloped in him, in his ardor, his scent. The world dropped away. There was just Caden.”
― Laura Kaye, quote from Hearts in Darkness
“So what about that key?" I asked.
"I knew you'd be asking me about it sooner or later." He pulled the cord out from underneath his shirt and dangled the key in front of me.
"What do you want for it?" I sneered. "Five dollars?"
"I don't want money," he said with a wicked grin.
"What does it go to?"
"A kiss will unlock more than this key will," he whispered in my ear.”
― Ellen Schreiber, quote from Cryptic Cravings
“That chick makes the monsters under my bed have nightmares.”
― Dan Wells, quote from Ruins
“Perhaps a germ of love was springing in their hearts so pure that it might blossom in Paradise, since it could not be matured on earth;”
― Nathaniel Hawthorne, quote from Twice-Told Tales
Heaven and Hell
The Darkest Secret
Fearless Magic
Bruiser
Penmarric
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