Quotes from Date Me

“Electrical shivers shoot up my leg.
And my knee is such a slut!
She likes it! She's that friend you have. The one who you tell you're on a diet and the next day shows up with cupcakes and says, Aww, just one won't hurt.”
― Jillian Dodd, quote from Date Me

“I did it because I think it's time you finally knew that the stars were always for you. Always. Only. Ever. For you.”
― Jillian Dodd, quote from Date Me

“I gotta go. Just got a taker on the rope.”
― Jillian Dodd, quote from Date Me

“He takes a deep breath and gives me one of those smiles that almost blinds me. The kind of smile that makes me want to drag him to a little chapel in the woods, say I do, and make him the last boy I ever kiss.”
― Jillian Dodd, quote from Date Me

“This is ridiculous, Maggie. I’m going to tell him to put his shirt back on.” She gives me an evil eye. “Don’t you dare. You’ll cause a riot.”
― Jillian Dodd, quote from Date Me

“Riley: “I grind so fine, I’m practically coffee,” he says with a straight face, then busts out a grin.”
― Jillian Dodd, quote from Date Me

“I think I’ll leave it off, just for you. You can think about us naked. Hammering. Nailing. Pounding. Screwing.” He gives me a totally naughty and completely adorable smirk.   “I will be thinking no such things.” “Oh, yeah, you will. It will be all you think about for the rest of the day.”
― Jillian Dodd, quote from Date Me

“I can’t help but laugh.   “You totally butchered that cheer.” “Yeah, I need a little more work on the motions. I can remember football plays, but these stupid arm motions are just confusing.” “Do you want me to help you? I know that cheer.” “Maybe you can come teach me in my room. I’d probably learn it better if we were naked.” “If you were naked, there wouldn’t be any cheering going on.” “You cheer me on sometimes. Go, Dawes!” I smack his shoulder. “Shut up. You should hear yourself.”
― Jillian Dodd, quote from Date Me

“Braxton: Tell me what girls want.
Me: I think that depends on the girl. Also depends what kind of girl you want.
Braxton: Right now, I’d like a trio of slutty girls. All naked together in my room with nothing to do but me.
Me: Let’s try to deal with reality.
Braxton: I was. I originally wanted a harem.
Me: Fine. Three slutty girls it is.”
― Jillian Dodd, quote from Date Me

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Popular quotes

“Steven’s words slush together as he gets to his feet. “Crossing this one off the bucket list.” Then he
unbuckles his belt and grabs the waist of his pants—yanking the suckers down to his ankles—tighty
whities and all.
Every guy in the car holds up his hands to try to block the spectacle. We groan and complain. “My
eyes! They burn!”
“Put the boa constrictor back in his cage, man.”
“This is not the ass I planned on seeing tonight.”
Our protests fall on deaf ears. Steven is a man on a mission. Wordlessly, he squats and shoves his lilywhite
ass out the window—mooning the gaggle of grannies in the car next to us.
I bet you thought this kind of stuff only happened in movies.
He grins while his ass blows in the wind for a good ninety seconds, ensuring optimal viewage. Then
he pulls his slacks up, turns around, and leans out the window, laughing. “Enjoying the full moon, ladies?”
Wow. Steven usually isn’t the type to visually assault the elderly.
Without warning, his crazy cackling is cut off. He’s silent for a beat, then I hear him choke out a single
strangled word.
“Grandma?”
Then he’s diving back into the limo, his face grayish, dazed, and totally sober. He stares at the floor.
“No way that just happened.”
Matthew and I look at each other hopefully, then we scramble to the window. Sure enough, in the
driver’s seat of that big old Town Car is none other than Loretta P. Reinhart. Mom to George; Grandma to
Steven.
What are the fucking odds, huh?
Loretta was always a cranky old bitch. No sense of humor. Even when I was a kid she hated me.
Thought I was a bad influence on her precious grandchild.
Don’t know where she got that idea from.
She moved out to Arizona years ago. Like a lot of women her age, she still enjoys a good tug on the
slot machine—hence her frequent trips to Sin City. Apparently this is one such trip.
Matthew and I wave and smile and in fourth-grader-like, singsong harmony call out, “Hi, Mrs.
Reinhart.”
She shakes one wrinkled fist in our direction. Then her poofy-haired companion in the backseat flips
us the bird. I’m pretty sure it’s the funniest goddamn thing I’ve ever seen.
The two of us collapse back into our seats, laughing hysterically.”
― Emma Chase, quote from Tied

“So I heard on the news that the Tard died and your house burnt down. I bet secretly you're relieved you don't have to live with him anymore in that dump."
The whole commotion in the hallway immediately stopped, as if her words had been spoken over the intercom. It became so quiet that you could hear Mina's and Nan's sharp intakes of breath. Mina wasn't prone to violence and was about to think of something mean to say back to Savannah, but she didn't have the chance to, because Nan Taylor, perky, happy-go-lucky Nan Taylor, pulled back her fist and punched Savannah in the face.
Savannah wasn't prepared, and fell to the floor. Nan stood over her shocked face and yelled, "No way was he handicapped, or different. He was the most special, coolest and smartest kid ever. And the world is a much sadder place because he's not here. And don't you ever, EVER, insult him again!" Nan shook with anger.
The hall was full of students and teachers, and one by one they started to clap.”
― Chanda Hahn, quote from Fable

“For never was a truer story of love conquering woe than this of Molly Juliet and her Romeo.”
― Tillie Cole, quote from Sweet Home

“There was no other explanation for such an illness in a man otherwise so young and fit. It was the consequence of failing to find the ruthlessness to take what he wanted instead of capitulating to what he should do.”
― Philip Roth, quote from The Counterlife

“Therefore, to you the creature, many of the acts of the all-powerful Creator seem to be arbitrary, detached, and not infrequently heartless and cruel. But again I assure you that this is not true. God’s doings are all purposeful, intelligent, wise, kind, and eternally considerate of the best good, not always of an individual being, an individual race, an individual planet, or even an individual universe; but they are for the welfare and best good of all concerned, from the lowest to the highest.”
― Urantia Foundation, quote from The Urantia Book

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