Dance of Thieves

Choose your words carefully, even the words you think, because they become seeds, and seeds become history.

What did they do to you, Kazi?” His voice was low, earnest. Even in the dim light, I was able to see the worry in his eyes. I pretended I didn’t know what he was talking about. “Who did what?” “Who made you afraid of an open world? An open sky? Was it Venda? Your parents?” “No one did anything,” I answered quietly. “Then hold on to me,” he said. “Let me show you the stars.

I do want tomorrows with you, Jase. I want a lifetime of tomorrows.

It began with the stars.

Truth that came too late was as useful as a meal to a dead man.

It's awkward, isn't it?" he said. "What's that?" I replied, my voice far too breathy. "These moments when we're not hating each other.

Yes, I want to kiss you, Jase Ballenger. Not for show or to make the best of it. I want to kiss you because I want you, every part of you, even the parts that infuriate me beyond telling, because you’ve infected me with a poison that I don’t want to flush out, because you’re a mad viper twisting around my middle, cutting off my breath, yet I want you more than I want to breathe. Yes, Jase, I want to kiss you, just because I do, but the one thing I cannot do is promise you any tomorrows.

Hear the language that isn’t spoken, for everyone can hear spoken words, but only a few can hear the heart that beats behind it.

The ghosts, they never go away. They call to you in unexpected moments, their hands lacing with yours and pulling you down paths that lead nowhere.

Make a wish, Kazi, one for tomorrow, for the next day, and the next. One will always come true. Because if I could believe in tomorrow or the next day, maybe that would give the magic time to come true. Or better, maybe by then I wouldn't need the magic at all.

I like you, Jase Ballenger,” I said softly. “I think if you weren’t a thief, we might be friends.” “And if you didn’t whisk out knives and threaten to cut pretty necks, I think we might be friends too.” I wrinkled my nose. “Oh, how obsessed you are with your pretty neck.” His hands tightened on my wrists. He pulled me close, his teeth nipping at my neck and between kisses, he whispered, “It is not my neck I am obsessed with, Kazi of Brightmist.

Every exchange of words between Jase and me seemed like a dance, a step forward, a step back, circling, both of us leading, anticipating, wondering what the next move would be. He didn’t trust me any more than I trusted him.

I do hope the things I've forgotten don't matter.

Love didn’t even seem like the right word to explain how I felt about her. The word seemed too small, too used, too simple, and everything I felt about her seemed complicated and rare and as wide as the world.

I only need you, Kazi, that's all I need.

She fascinated me, her contradictions, her secrets, and the girl that sometimes surfaced from beneath her tough soldier exterior, like when she spotted the wish stalks on the bank. The girl who forgot who I was and pressed a wish stalk to my ankle. In another world, another circumstance, I think we might have been friends. Or more.

You must find the magic that warms your skin in winter, the magic that perceives what cannot be seen, the magic that curls in your gut with fierce power and will not let you give up, no matter how long or cold the days.

This was more than an unexpected turn. It was an unchecked slide into hell.

There is magic in everything, only you must watch for it. It does not come from spells or potions or the sky, nor by special delivery of the gods. It is all around you.

What is this, Kazi? I knew what he meant. This. What was this between us? Just what game were we playing? I had wondered too. Because now our kisses were filled with pauses, our gazes filled with more questions instead of fewer. I don’t know, Jase. What do you feel? Your lips, your hands, your heartbeat. No, Kazi, in here, what do you feel in here? His finger stroked a line down the center of my chest. I felt an ache pressing within. A need I couldn’t name. I don’t know. I didn’t want to know. Let me taste your mouth, I whispered. Don’t make me think.

It was our story. It didn't have to have a happy beginning or a happy ending, but the middle was a feast at a banquet, a rich soapy bath, a night's rest at an inn and full stomach, a warm chest nestled up against my back, the soft heat of lips at my nape, stories whispered in my ear.

Sometimes you can't begin to know everything you've lost until someone shows you what you might have had

Sometimes it seemed the timing of the entire world was off, our intentions coming too soon or too late, life crowding up to blur our vision, and only later when the dust settles can we see our missteps.

then hold on to me, he said let me show you the stars.

Tell me a riddle, Kazi.

Seconds could change everything. Seconds could erase one path and send you reeling down another.

Jase had seen me, restless, walking, organizing supplies that were already ordered. Everyone else was asleep on their bedrolls. He came up behind me, his hands circling my waist. "I can't sleep either," he said. His lips grazed my neck, and he whispered, "Tell me a riddle, Kazi." We laid out a blanket on a bed of grass, the stars of Hetisha's Chariot, Eagle's Nest, and Thieves' Gold lighting our way, far from everyone else. I settled in next to him, laying my head in the crook of his shoulder, his arm wrapping around me, pulling me close. "Listen carefully now, Jase Ballenger. I won't repeat myself." "I'm a good listener." I know you are. I've known that since our first night together. That's what makes you dangerous. You make me want to share everything with you. I cleared my throat, signaling I was ready to begin. "If I were a color, I'd be red as a rose, I make your blood rush, and tingle your toes, I taste of honey and spring, and a good bit of trouble, But I make the birds sing, and all the stars double. I can be quick, a mere peck, or slow and divine, And that is probably, the very best kind." "Hmm..." he said, as if stumped. "Let me think for a minute..." He rolled up on one elbow, looking down at me, the stars dusting his cheekbones. "Honey?" He kissed my forehead. "Spring?" He kissed my chin. "You are a good bit of trouble, Kazi of Brightmist." "I try my best." "I may have to take this one slowly..." His hand traveled leisurely from my waist, across my ribs, to my neck, until he was cupping my cheek. My blood rushed; the stars blurred. "Very slowly...to figure it all out." And then his lips pressed, warm and demanding onto mine, and I hoped it would take him an eternity to solve the riddle.

My breaths shuddered, still hot in my chest. I knew I had made a big mistake, but it was a glorious one, and I wanted to make it over and over again. But there was something in his eyes, something genuine and earnest and true that made me pause. This was more than just making the best of it, this was something taking root, a seed being planted. But it was a seed that couldn't be planted.

It had always been the laughter that needled through me, a repeated stitch that surfaced over and over again.....Laughter reveals in the same way a sigh or a glance does. It's an unintentional language. Worry, fear, deceit - they hide in the things unsaid.