Quotes from Calvin and Hobbes

“People who get nostalgic about childhood were obviously never children.”
― Bill Watterson, quote from Calvin and Hobbes

“Hey Dad, will you buy me a flame thrower?

Of course not. Don't be silly.

Even if I didn't use it in the house?”
― Bill Watterson, quote from Calvin and Hobbes

“Hey Susie Derkins, is that your face, or is a 'possum stuck in your collar?”
― Bill Watterson, quote from Calvin and Hobbes

“Since September it's just gotten colder and colder. There's less daylight now, I've noticed too.
This can only mean one thing - the sun is going out.
In a few more months the Earth will be a dark and lifeless ball of ice.

Dad says the sun isn't going out. He says its colder because the earth's orbit is taking us farther from the sun. He says winter will be here soon.

Isn't it sad how some people's grip on their lives is so precarious that they'll embrace any preposterous delusion rather than face an occasional bleak truth?”
― Bill Watterson, quote from Calvin and Hobbes

“Never argue with a six-year-old who shaves.”
― Bill Watterson, quote from Calvin and Hobbes

“Calvin: As you can see, I have memorized this utterly useless piece of information long enough to pass a test question. I now intend to forget it forever. You've taught me nothing except how to cynically manipulate the system. Congratulations.”
― Bill Watterson, quote from Calvin and Hobbes

“Calvin: Somewhere in Communist Russia I'll bet there's a little boy who has never known anything but censorship and oppression. But maybe he's heard of America, and he dreams of living in this land of freedom and opportunity! Someday, I'd like to meet that little boy...and tell him the awful TRUTH ABOUT THIS PLACE!!
Calvin's Dad: Calvin, be quiet and eat the stupid lima beans.”
― Bill Watterson, quote from Calvin and Hobbes

“- I should be doing my homework now. But the way I look at it, playing in the snow is a lot more important. Out here I'm learning real skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my life.

- Such as?

- Procrastination and rationalization.”
― Bill Watterson, quote from Calvin and Hobbes

“Of course, REAL zombies never get the giggles when they look at each other...”
― Bill Watterson, quote from Calvin and Hobbes

“Isn't it strange that evolution would give us a sense of humor?”
― Bill Watterson, quote from Calvin and Hobbes

“Calvin: I'm being educated against my will! My rights are being trampled!
Hobbes: Is it a right to remain ignorant?
Calvin: I don't know, but I refuse to find out!”
― Bill Watterson, quote from Calvin and Hobbes

“Calvin: Today at school, I tried to decide whether to cheat on my test or not. I wondered, is it better to do the right thing and fail ... or is it better to do the wrong thing and succeed? On the one hand, undeserved success gives no satisfaction ... but on the other hand, well-deserved failure gives no satisfaction either. Of course, most everybody cheats some time or other. People always bend the rules if they think they can get away with it. Then again, that doesn't justify my cheating. Then I thought, look, cheating on one little test isn't such a big deal. It doesn't hurt anyone. But then I wondered if I was just rationalizing my unwillingness to accept the consequence of not studying. Still, in the real world, people care about success, not principles. Then again, maybe that's why the world is such a mess. What a dilemma!
Hobbes: So what did you decide?
Calvin: Nothing. I ran out of time and I had to turn in a blank paper.
Hobbes: Anymore, simply acknowledging the issue is a moral victory.
Calvin: Well, it just seemed wrong to cheat on an ethics test.”
― Bill Watterson, quote from Calvin and Hobbes

“Hobbes: "Whatcha doin'?"
Calvin: "Getting rich!"
Hobbes: "Really?"
Calvin: "Yep. I'm writing a self-help book! There's a huge market for this stuff."
Calvin: "First you convince people there's something wrong with them. That's easy because advertising has already conditioned people to feel insecure about their weight, looks, social status, sex appeal, and so on."
Calvin: "Next, you convince them that the problem is not their fault and that they're victims of larger forces. That's easy, because it's what people believe anyway. Nobody wants to be responsible for his own situation."
Calvin: "Finally, you convince them that with your expert advice and encouragement, they can conquer their problem and be happy."
Hobbes: "Ingenious. What problem will you help people solve?"
Calvin: "Their addiction to self-help books!"
Calvin: "My book is called, "Shut up and stop whining: How to do something with your life besides think about yourself.""
Hobbes: "You should probably wait for the advance before you buy anything."
Calvin: "The trouble is... If my program works, I won't be able to write a sequel.”
― Bill Watterson, quote from Calvin and Hobbes

“There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do.”
― Bill Watterson, quote from Calvin and Hobbes

“Calvin: If you could wish for anything, what would it be?
Hobbes: A big sunny field to be in.
Calvin: A STUPID FIELD?! You've got that now! Think BIG! Riches! Power! Pretend you could have ANYTHING!
...
Calvin: Actually, its hard to argue with someone who looks so happy.
Hobbes: Z”
― Bill Watterson, quote from Calvin and Hobbes

“Day says the anticipation of having something is often more fun than actually having it.- Calvin”
― Bill Watterson, quote from Calvin and Hobbes

“Dad says that the anticipation of having something is often more fun than actually having it - Calvin”
― Bill Watterson, quote from Calvin and Hobbes

About the author

Popular quotes

“A bird foraging for food in the swamps and marshes sinks rapidly if it doesn't move. It has to keep pulling its feet out of the mire to move on, regardless of whether it has caught something or not. And the same applies to us and to our love. We have to move on, we can't stay where we are, because we'll sink.”
― Milorad Pavić, quote from Dictionary of the Khazars: A Lexicon Novel in 100,000 Words

“People, he had said, were always being looked at as points, and they ought to be looked at as lines. There weren't any points, it was false to assume that a person ever was anything. He was always becoming something, always changing, always continuous and moving, like the wiggly line on a machine used to measure earthquake shocks. He was always what he was in the beginning, but never quite exactly what he was; he moved along a line dictated by his heritage and his environment, but he was subject to every sort of variation within the narrow limits of his capabilities.
...
She shut her mind on that too. There was danger in looking at people as lines. The past spread backward and you saw things in perspective that you hadn't seen then, and that made the future ominous, more ominous than if you just looked at the point, at the moment. There might be truth in what Bruce said, but there was not much comfort.”
― Wallace Stegner, quote from The Big Rock Candy Mountain (Contemporary American Fiction)

“Bacon identified in relation to the natural sciences: the mismatch between the complexity of the world and our capacity to understand it.”
― quote from Black Box Thinking: Why Some People Never Learn from Their Mistakes - But Some Do

“Maybe, but she knows too much and she's clever too. She's just a girl now, but one day she'll be a woman and a clever woman's dangerous.”
― Joseph Delaney, quote from The Spook's Apprentice

“No man has the courage to approach her or initiate questions she herself rise, for all men fear a fascist and she can very well be a fascist’s wife.”
― Mie Hansson, quote from Where Pain Thrives

Interesting books

About BookQuoters

BookQuoters is a community of passionate readers who enjoy sharing the most meaningful, memorable and interesting quotes from great books. As the world communicates more and more via texts, memes and sound bytes, short but profound quotes from books have become more relevant and important. For some of us a quote becomes a mantra, a goal or a philosophy by which we live. For all of us, quotes are a great way to remember a book and to carry with us the author’s best ideas.

We thoughtfully gather quotes from our favorite books, both classic and current, and choose the ones that are most thought-provoking. Each quote represents a book that is interesting, well written and has potential to enhance the reader’s life. We also accept submissions from our visitors and will select the quotes we feel are most appealing to the BookQuoters community.

Founded in 2023, BookQuoters has quickly become a large and vibrant community of people who share an affinity for books. Books are seen by some as a throwback to a previous world; conversely, gleaning the main ideas of a book via a quote or a quick summary is typical of the Information Age but is a habit disdained by some diehard readers. We feel that we have the best of both worlds at BookQuoters; we read books cover-to-cover but offer you some of the highlights. We hope you’ll join us.