Quotes from Anissa's Redemption

Zack Love ·  210 pages

Rating: (174 votes)


“But I stayed up thinking about how I've been lying to him, no less than I lie to myself in my pre-sleep ritual. And I lied to him again just as we were growing more intimate than ever and he asked me about my scar.”
― Zack Love, quote from Anissa's Redemption


“He clearly suffers from some past traumas too, so hopefully he'll understand why I was untruthful to him about mine.”
― Zack Love, quote from Anissa's Redemption


“Adding to my emotional dizziness on Sunday, I spoke with my sister, who kept noting how amazing Michael is, and what a brave and selfless man he is for having helped as he did.”
― Zack Love, quote from Anissa's Redemption


“In addition to my new outlook on life, in some absurdly simple way, Anissa gave me several new reasons to live. Above all, I had to see her again and find out what, if anything, would happen between her and me.”
― Zack Love, quote from Anissa's Redemption


“But I did feel the vertigo of death’s invitation, beckoning me towards the dark waters below. Only a newfound perspective and desire steadied my wavering soul. I came to realize, just in time, that suicide was far too easy – and obscenely cowardly – after someone I knew, not even half my age, had been through so much worse and still marched gloriously on.”
― Zack Love, quote from Anissa's Redemption



“She was somehow this damaged creature I had fortuitously encountered along my path and now cared about as a result. Granted, I didn't cause her harm, as I did with Icarus, but I somehow began to feel responsible for her welfare.”
― Zack Love, quote from Anissa's Redemption


“My past still haunts me when I sleep, although I saw that - much to my surprise- his does as well.”
― Zack Love, quote from Anissa's Redemption


“But then, as I looked in the mirror, I became fixated on some hairs near my carotid artery that were still there. I pushed the blade deep against my neck to shave them off, and then blood squirted out.”
― Zack Love, quote from Anissa's Redemption


“A few minutes later, my eyes began to feel a bit droopy, but I vaguely noticed that Anissa was whispering something.”
― Zack Love, quote from Anissa's Redemption


“The lead-up to the moment was magical in every respect, but a part of me was, and still is, uneasy about the whole thing for many reasons.”
― Zack Love, quote from Anissa's Redemption



About the author

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I realise that what I am describing, people divided in themselves, is said to characterise mental illness and is the absolute opposite of our idea of emotional integration. The whole Western idea of mental health runs in precisely the opposite direction: what is desirable is congruity between your self-consciousness and your natural being. But there are those whose sanity flows from the conscious -separation- of those two things. If there even -is- a natural being, an irreducible self, it is rather small, I think, and may even be the root of all impersonation -- the natural being may be the skill itself, the innate capacity to impersonate. I'm talking about recognising that one is acutely a performer, rather than swallowing whole the guise of naturalness and pretending that it isn't a performance but you. . . . All I can tell you with certainty is that I, for one, have no self, and that I am unwilling or unable to perpetrate upon myself the joke of a self. It certainly does strike me as a joke about -my- self. What I have instead is a variety of impersonations I can do, and not only of myself -- a troupe of players that I have internalised, a permanent company of actors that I can call upon when a self is required, an ever-evolving stock of pieces and parts that forms my repertoire. But I certainly have no self independent of my imposturing, artistic efforts to have one. Nor would I want one. I am a theater and nothing more than a theater.”
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