Quotes from Alive In A Dead World

Mark Tufo ·  354 pages

Rating: (4.1K votes)


“We had an understanding, you and me, Talbot. I would hang with you, if and only if, you didn’t get any fucking nuttier,”
― Mark Tufo, quote from Alive In A Dead World


“Mike, as the only black member of this dysfunctional group, I’m truly amazed that I’m still alive. I mean I’ve watched almost every horror movie ever made, and without fail, if a man of color is in the movie, he dies first. In recent years, however, it has gotten somewhat better. Now, we sometimes make it to second killed, after the ditzy blonde, but I’ve got to imagine that a brother’s life expectancy in any horror setting is generally a couple of hours, at most.”
― Mark Tufo, quote from Alive In A Dead World


“The splitting up, I know, I know. I feel like the idiot that says, ‘Yeah I’ll go down to the basement alone to check out the breaker box, and I only have this one wooden match to light my way. Oh, and did I mention that we heard suspicious sounds down there only moments earlier?”
― Mark Tufo, quote from Alive In A Dead World


“BT barely registered my existence as I pulled the gun from his hand. He looked up at me with a tear-soaked face. “I’ve been bit, Mike,” BT sobbed.”
― Mark Tufo, quote from Alive In A Dead World


“Careful, the number one cause of accidental shootings is careful aim.”
― Mark Tufo, quote from Alive In A Dead World



“Grenades! Please tell me grenades!” I said, almost jumping up and down like a schoolgirl that found out the captain of the football team liked her.”
― Mark Tufo, quote from Alive In A Dead World


“Close your mouth when you’re nodding, Talbot,” Tracy said, “You look like the village idiot.”
― Mark Tufo, quote from Alive In A Dead World


“Oh, Talbot,” Tracy said, falling welcomingly into my arms. “What are we going to do with you?” she said, burying her face into my shoulder. “There’s always the rodeo,” I told her. It was the first thing that came to my mind. She wiped a tear from her eye and looked up at me. “You rarely think before you speak, don’t you?” “What? I think I’d be great, those guys that get in the barrel and everything.” “You know those are rodeo clowns, right?” she was telling me. “Clowns? I hate clowns. They are the root of all evil in this world,” I answered. “You honestly believe that, don’t you?” Tracy said. “There are zombies and vampires roaming this world, but clowns rule as the supreme evil being in your world.”
― Mark Tufo, quote from Alive In A Dead World


“Hi, occupants.” “What are you? Junk mail?”
― Mark Tufo, quote from Alive In A Dead World


“The first zombie reached BT and met a blissful exit from this world courtesy of a Louisville Slugger, the preferred choice of zombie slayers nationwide.”
― Mark Tufo, quote from Alive In A Dead World



“Brian was shaking his head, walking around in small circles. He was mumbling to himself. “No guns! The world is caving in on itself and this crazy old bastard doesn’t even have a gun.” “What’s wrong with your friend?” Crotchety asked. “He looks like he has distemper.”
― Mark Tufo, quote from Alive In A Dead World


“Nice pistol,” Paul said as I was looking it over, trying to figure out the cocking mechanism, safety and every other moving part. “You should give it to Deneaux.” I looked at him like he had just snorted some weed. “No, man, I’m not kidding. The lady can shoot the balls off a gnat from across the room,”
― Mark Tufo, quote from Alive In A Dead World


“There’s a safe!” Gary said, sticking his head back out. “Great, maybe we’ll see who he willed his gold watch to,” I said, looking at the zombie’s feet, which were still twitching. It was creeping the hell out of me, but at least she wasn’t telling me she wanted some Dr. Scholl’s or something. “Gun safe, Mike.” Gary said as if I were Gary Busey. Does that need any further explanation? “I”
― Mark Tufo, quote from Alive In A Dead World


“I guess zombies were a lot like stoners; neither did much in the way of action until food was involved. At least I would be able to keep myself amused.”
― Mark Tufo, quote from Alive In A Dead World


“It really does suck having the attention span of a coconut-laden swallow”
― Mark Tufo, quote from Alive In A Dead World



“You’re still concentrating, right?” BT asked to my retreating back. “Yes I’m still concentrating, Mrs. Weinstedder.” “What?” “Nothing, just my old algebra teacher.” “So somehow this whole scene reminded you of an old math teacher? Who did the wiring in your head? Because you should get your deposit back.”
― Mark Tufo, quote from Alive In A Dead World


“The weapons-of-mass-destruction-seeking team came back a couple of hours later with about as much luck finding anything, as the US had been a few years previous.”
― Mark Tufo, quote from Alive In A Dead World


“We got some swords,” Brian said, putting three sharp-edged blades on the ground. “They any good?” I asked, picking one up. I’d seen some that would fall apart from the impact with a watermelon and others with a blade so dull they couldn’t cut a fart.”
― Mark Tufo, quote from Alive In A Dead World


“I do not want to die, Talbot,” a heaving-chested BT said to me as we watched the zombies chase after Gary. “You just took on eighteen zombies with a wooden stick, I’d say your actions speak differently.” “No, just because I’m pissed off shouldn’t be construed as a suicidal gesture.”
― Mark Tufo, quote from Alive In A Dead World


“Careful, the number one cause of accidental shootings is careful aim.” Paul”
― Mark Tufo, quote from Alive In A Dead World



“I guess that makes me a hero,” Mike said. Paul knew he was kidding; but kidding or not, it was the truth. “I guess it does.” “Dude, you’re embarrassing me, and you need to be quiet for a while. I think I’ve found a way to move things with my mind.” “Are you shitting me?” “Nope, try it, man. You’re on the same shit as I am.”
― Mark Tufo, quote from Alive In A Dead World


About the author

Popular quotes

“Sometimes, during those same bleak middle-of-the-nights, he held secret fears he never said aloud. Demons had come in the dark, come with the famous Dryden fog that rolled through the town, and taken possession of his lovely, smart, kindhearted wife. And next they'd come for his daughter too.”
― Megan Abbott, quote from The Fever


“Actually,” Jayden said, “Not completely unlike the Cloak of Invisibility, although different in that those individuals using these devices wouldn’t become completely invisible. Exactly.” “So nothing like it,” Matthias said. “Moron status secured.”
― A.E. Kirk, quote from Demons in Disguise


“You can plan for things, work towards them for years, and yet they never materialize. Or you can just happen to be in the right place at the right moment, and everything falls into place. If you want to believe in something like Fate, she's a capricious character. Sometimes she stand there blocking the doorway you were born to pass through, and sometimes she takes you by the hand and leads you through the minute you poke your nose out. And the stars gaze down and keep their counsel.”
― John Ajvide Lindqvist, quote from Little Star


“Astrid's eyes narrowed, and she opened her mouth. Reyna cut her off with "Stop."
"I'm not -"
"Whatever you're about to claim you aren't doing? You're totally doing it. And we're going to stop right here. Two girls hissing at each other over a boy? Chiché. Doing it when we should be strategizing for a save-the-world battle? That's an insult to girls everywhere. Catfight, done." She turned to Matt. "You have the floor, sir.”
― K.L. Armstrong, quote from Thor's Serpents


“I don't know,' I cried without being heard, 'I do not know, If nobody comes, then nobody comes. I've done nobody any harm, nobody's done me any harm, but nobody will help me. A pack of nobodies. Yet that isn't all true. Only, that nobody helps me - a pack of nobodies would be rather fine, on the other hand. I'd love to go on an excursion - why not? - with a pack of nobodies. Into the mountains, of course, where else? How these nobodies jostle each other, all these lifted arms linked together, these numberless feet treading so close! Of course they are all in dress suits. We go so gaily, the wind blows through us and the gaps in our company. Our throats swell and are free in the mountains! It's a wonder that we don't burst into song.”
― Franz Kafka, quote from The Complete Short Stories


Interesting books

Rival
(24.4K)
Rival
by Penelope Douglas
What Do You Care What Other People Think?
(17.7K)
What Do You Care Wha...
by Richard Feynman
Whose Body?
(33.9K)
Whose Body?
by Dorothy L. Sayers
Sixty Stories
(5.1K)
Sixty Stories
by Donald Barthelme
Zen Flesh, Zen Bones: A Collection of Zen and Pre-Zen Writings
(6K)
Sea Swept
(51.9K)
Sea Swept
by Nora Roberts

About BookQuoters

BookQuoters is a community of passionate readers who enjoy sharing the most meaningful, memorable and interesting quotes from great books. As the world communicates more and more via texts, memes and sound bytes, short but profound quotes from books have become more relevant and important. For some of us a quote becomes a mantra, a goal or a philosophy by which we live. For all of us, quotes are a great way to remember a book and to carry with us the author’s best ideas.

We thoughtfully gather quotes from our favorite books, both classic and current, and choose the ones that are most thought-provoking. Each quote represents a book that is interesting, well written and has potential to enhance the reader’s life. We also accept submissions from our visitors and will select the quotes we feel are most appealing to the BookQuoters community.

Founded in 2023, BookQuoters has quickly become a large and vibrant community of people who share an affinity for books. Books are seen by some as a throwback to a previous world; conversely, gleaning the main ideas of a book via a quote or a quick summary is typical of the Information Age but is a habit disdained by some diehard readers. We feel that we have the best of both worlds at BookQuoters; we read books cover-to-cover but offer you some of the highlights. We hope you’ll join us.