A Most Agreeable Murder

I have received many love notes about my wit. Though they are often disguised as strongly worded letters which request I hold my tongue.

Only a morally corrupt city would accept her, and once she made it to Paris, she would surely be robbed by a mime and left for dead.

Let go of what everyone is supposed to be, and you shall see who they truly are. Let people be who they truly are, and they shall reach their greatest potential.

We were in love. But as I always say, a single man in possession of a good fortune sometimes is actually not single. He's often a total liar.

Good evening, Miss Steele. You are the ninth-loveliest woman at this ball." "Thank you,' Beatrice said with a curtsy, "though I think there are fewer than nine women in attendance.

Edmund has inherited a great deal, and money heals all wounds,” Mrs. Steele said sagely. “Don’t you mean time heals all wounds?” Beatrice asked. “No…that doesn’t sound right. It’s definitely money,

It's very tragic," Louisa said. "They had just moved to a new mansion in Bath with fifty-nine bedrooms. Unfortunately, the two of them got lost on their way to breakfast. Their servants didn't find them until it was too late - they had wasted away." "How awful," Beatrice said, leaning forward. "Do the inspectors suspect foul play?" "No birds were involved. The Croaksworths were simply terrible with directions," Louisa replied.

How did you not recognize her?" "She was wearing a wig!" Drake said defensively. "The same color as her hair!" Beatrice shot back.

It was actually satisfying, Beatrice thought furiously, to have a real reason to loathe Caroline. She had never been able to explain her dislike before, but now that the lady had stabbed her, Beatrice thought her hatred much more justified.

MISS ARABELLA ASHBROOK: Pardon my tears. I've just lost my future husband. MISS BEATRICE STEELE: There aren't any tears coming out of your eyes.

Beatrice: A lady’s nook is incomplete without a book.

The gentlemen here are perfectly merry,” Mrs. Steele said, irritated. “I don’t know why they should be,” Mary said. “Life is pain.

You suffer so much,” Beatrice said dryly. “Life must be a constant trial.

I hope all that cake you’ve been eating was worth sacrificing your entire married future and sending us all to our deaths.

But as I always say, a single man in possession of a good fortune sometimes is actually not single. He’s often a total liar.

One must always help out a beautiful, well-bred orphan.

Miss Bolton passed by Beatrice and Caroline, hurrying toward the musicians. “They got the Bartholomew Babies,” she said breathlessly. “I wonder if the cellist remembers when I threw my shawl to him back in 1768.

To Be or Not to Be? If You Are, You Might Be Entitled to Compensation.

As she pushed past him, she accidentally brushed her arm against his. She was unnerved to find that the touch set her entire body aflame.

Unfortunately in Swampshire all of this made her—one shudders to even say—a morbid creep.

CAROLINE’S MOIST SCONES Ingredients: 2 cups all-purpose flour ¼ cup sugar 1 teaspoon salt 1 tablespoon cream of tartar 1 tablespoon baking powder ¼ cup cold butter, in chunks ½ cup milk 1 cup chocolate chunks INSTRUCTIONS: Preheat oven to 350 degrees and line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Mix together flour, sugar, salt, cream of tartar, and baking powder. Work in the butter until crumbly and then add the milk, forming a moist paste. The moistness is, of course, key. Personally, my scones are so delicious that I do not even need any add-ins or toppings, but if you are merely average at baking, I recommend disguising poor workmanship with copious chocolate chunks. Add those now. Form dough evenly into balls. Dough will be sticky. If you are a terrible baker and it’s too sticky, add a little more flour. If you are Beatrice Steele and it seems too dry, add 1 or 2 more tablespoons of milk. Place on the baking sheet and bake for 30 minutes.

Everyone wanted to tell Beatrice who she was, but the truth was that no one could determine this except Beatrice herself.

A single man in possession of a good fortune sometimes is actually not single. He’s often a total liar.

They struggled to kiss each other despite being kept apart, their lips brushing air. Out of all the horrific sights Beatrice had seen that night, this was one of the worst.

Mr. Frank Fàn: Miss Steele, Miss Bolton—how do you both maintain such ravishing complexions, even in the face of such a trying evening? Miss Beatrice Steele: Perspiration.

Some even speculated that he was about to almost think about considering making her an offer of marriage.

When battles of wits are scarce, sometimes one’s best opponent is oneself,” Beatrice said with a pained smile.

The lack of a carriage was a relief for Mr. Steele, as he found horses “too large to make sense.

But as the eldest daughter who couldn’t seem to get her nose out of a book and a ring on her finger, she was used to her mother’s persistent pestering.