A Dark and Drowning Tide

Tell me," She said. "Do you still think me cruel? Would you like to see the depths of it?

Anger, at least, was a balm to the rawness of her grief. But she was too tired to sharpen it into a blade, so she wound it around herself like amor

I want you, Lorelei. Her entire body sang with those words. She wanted all of her. Her every petty barb, every cruelty she could enact, every meager sweetness dripped onto her tongue like honey. Lorelei had not thought herself capable of feeling like this. Passionately, insatiably, recklessly. It terrified her, to have all her control unraveling and slipping away from her, all her walls crumbling. She needed Sylvia to experience even a flicker of what threatened to consume her now.

How could you not know I wanted you?" Never in her life had Lorelei been subjected to so many emotions at once. "How could I have possibly known? If you truly wanted me" - she stumbled over the words - "why have you bene such a menace all this time?" "Because you despise me! You think me beneath you. I could see it in your eyes, and I... God, I would have done anything to earn your respect, your attention. I just wanted you to look at me." Sylvia floundered for a moment. "When you do, I... It's terrifying. It's exhilarating. You're like something out of a nightmare.

All of them where haunted women. Violence had broken and reforged them, and the sharp edges it left behind made them dangerous

She wanted and wanted and wanted, so much and so deeply she feared her greed was boundless when it came to Sylvia von Wolff. And yet, she had ensured she would never have her again. Sometimes, she despised herself. Most of the time, really.

You're like something out of a nightmare." And you, Lorelei thought despairingly, are resplendent.

One day (...) You will grow tired of this thing you've made yourself into. One day, all there will be to content you is ghost

Lorelei wanted forever to bask in the light of her smile. She wanted to be carried on the current of her whims. She wanted to argue with her until she was breathless. She wanted to hurt her exquisitely, again and again, for as much time as they had. The depth of her hunger frightened her.

There is so much to do in this one glorious life we were gifted.

Lorelei had well and truly lost her mind to even consider following. And yet, somewhere deep down, she knew she'd never had a chance at remaining sensible when it came to Sylvia con Wolff. She'd already lost her heart. What was one more thing?

You've acted the part of a villain so well, you've gone and convinced yourself it's who you truly are

I can't cut off any more pieces of myself. I'm nearly bled dry

Back in the days when wishes still held power...

Saints, Lorelei," Sylvia snapped, and it felt like an absolution. "You are human. Do you understand what's happened here? You've acted the part of a villain so well, you've gone and convinced yourself it's who you truly are. You are honestly one of the least self-aware people I have ever met!" "I am perfectly self-aware! You are brighter than the sun itself. And me..." "Enough." Her voice wobbled. "You've made mistakes, as have we all. But don't you see yourself? You are witty and observant. You are fiercely protective of those you care for - and hopelessly loyal, in your way. I don't believe you've ever once acted completely in your own interest, for better or worse. I have always admired that about you.

Because when I'm with her, I can almost believe that I really am human." Lorelei curled her lip in disgust. "You are just a man. That's what makes you so despicable.

Lorelei knew what it was like when your mind was still fighting its own wars, one that had ended long ago for everyone else

I hope you understand that I will make every day of your life more difficult than the last, more complicated than it otherwise would be.

Not all of us can afford to have principles.

if it really came down to it, hatred would choke out logic like a weed.

Lorelei wanted forever to bask in the light of her smile., She wanted to be carried on the current of her whims. She wanted to argue with her until she was breathless. She wanted to hurt her exquisitely, again and again, for as much time as they had. The depth of her hunger frightened her.

Because you despise me! You think me beneath you. I could see it in your eyes, and I…God, I would have done anything to earn your respect, your attention. I just wanted you to look at me.” Sylvia floundered for a moment. “When you do, I…It’s terrifying. It’s exhilarating. You’re like something out of a nightmare.

She really had been blind, if she had refused to acknowledge how beautiful Sylvia was before now. The Absolute was much closer than she'd ever believed. It was not in God, not in nature. It was right here before her. Close enough to touch. Close enough to profane.

Now, in those days, there was a dragon that lived within the bowl of the moon. Once each month, he swept down from his perch and left the sky dark, with nothing but stars to light the way. With his wings, he pulled in the tides, an with his breath, he filled ships' sails with wind.

This close, she could smell liquor on his breath. It made her skin crawl with half-remembered dread. Alcohol and men like Johann never mixed well. It emboldened them.

Sylvia scoffed. "I'm not going to die." "You can't promise me that." "Neither can you!" Sylvia flushed. God, she was so stubborn. "There is so much more to living than fear, Lorelei. For once in your life, let someone worry for you the way you worry for others." Sylvia cupped her cheek and held her gaze steadily. "Let me worry about you.

Despite everything that has happened, you have made me believe there is beauty to be found. Your infectious joy, your whimsy, your complete and utter lack of self-preservation...You are everything I am not and everything I admire. The thought that I might have you terrified me -- the thought I might ruin you even more," she confessed. "There is absolutely nothing I can offer you, save my devotion. But if you will have me...

I thought I was choosing the lesser evil. But I was wrong. I was afraid. I have been afraid all my life, and I fear I always will be." She was babbling like a complete and utter ninny now, but she found she couldn't stop. "I'm as wretched and cowardly a creature as you've always suspected. I am surly and selfish and cruel. But I should have been better than my nature. I should never have betrayed you." I should have chosen you.