Alice Kuipers · 286 pages
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“Top tip 4: Somtimes you're lying when you say nothing at all”
― Alice Kuipers, quote from 40 Things I Want To Tell You
“Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened. And if you can't do that, force a smile on your face and sob into your pillow later.”
― Alice Kuipers, quote from 40 Things I Want To Tell You
“I should have been braver myself, shown you it's okay to get hurt along the way.”
― Alice Kuipers, quote from 40 Things I Want To Tell You
“Being happy means you've decided to accept the imperfections and get on with it anyway.”
― Alice Kuipers, quote from 40 Things I Want To Tell You
“We don't have control over our lives. We just have control over how we take things.”
― Alice Kuipers, quote from 40 Things I Want To Tell You
“Number 40: Love is worth the risk.”
― Alice Kuipers, quote from 40 Things I Want To Tell You
Alice Kuipers
Born place: London, England, The United Kingdom
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“I had a bizarre rapport with this mirror and spent a lot of time gazing into the glass to see who was there. Sometimes it looked like me. At other times, I could see someone similar but different in the reflection. A few times, I caught the switch in mid-stare, my expression re-forming like melting rubber, the creases and features of my face softening or hardening until the mutation was complete. Jekyll to Hyde, or Hyde to Jekyll. I felt my inner core change at the same time. I would feel more confident or less confident; mature or childlike; freezing cold or sticky hot, a state that would drive Mum mad as I escaped to the bathroom where I would remain for two hours scrubbing my skin until it was raw.
The change was triggered by different emotions: on hearing a particular piece of music; the sight of my father, the smell of his brand of aftershave. I would pick up a book with the certainty that I had not read it before and hear the words as I read them like an echo inside my head. Like Alice in the Lewis Carroll story, I slipped into the depths of the looking glass and couldn’t be sure if it was me standing there or an impostor, a lookalike.
I felt fully awake most of the time, but sometimes while I was awake it felt as if I were dreaming. In this dream state I didn’t feel like me, the real me. I felt numb. My fingers prickled. My eyes in the mirror’s reflection were glazed like the eyes of a mannequin in a shop window, my colour, my shape, but without light or focus.
These changes were described by Dr Purvis as mood swings and by Mother as floods, but I knew better. All teenagers are moody when it suits them. My Switches could take place when I was alone, transforming me from a bright sixteen-year-old doing her homework into a sobbing child curled on the bed staring at the wall.
The weeping fit would pass and I would drag myself back to the mirror expecting to see a child version of myself. ‘Who are you?’ I’d ask. I could hear the words; it sounded like me but it wasn’t me. I’d watch my lips moving and say it again, ‘Who are you?”
― quote from Today I'm Alice: Nine Personalities, One Tortured Mind
“No existe nada realmente hermoso si no es lo que no puede servir para nada. Todo lo que es útil es feo, porque es la expresión de alguna necesidad y las del hombre son ruines y desagradables, igual que su pobre y enfermiza naturaleza. El rincón más útil de una casa son las letrinas.”
― Théophile Gautier, quote from Mademoiselle de Maupin
“And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”
― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, quote from Der kleine Prinz
“Rule of thumb: if you think something is clever and sophisticated beware-it is probably self-indulgence.”
― Donald A. Norman, quote from Design of Everyday Things: Revised and Expanded Edition (Revised)
“I check my phone messages and email about forty-five times a day. I don’t even know what I’m expecting to get in these messages. Maybe Visa will call and say, “We just realized that we owe you money!” or I’ll get an email from a high school classmate that says, “We’ve reconsidered and we’ve decided you were cool after all.” Whatever”
― quote from Sleepwalk With Me and Other Painfully True Stories
Crossing to Safety
Prince of Wolves
Tithe
Second Foundation
Fear
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